Anxiety about sharing anxiety

Posted , 4 users are following.

I have major anxiety revolving around my relationship.  I recently got in a relationship with a girl who is extremely blunt, and to the point. She is a very nice person and I'm happy with her, but I have constant fear of telling her things that worry me, as theyre about our relationship (i.e "Oh, no I said this too soon in the relationship and now she's going to leave me," or "Oh, no, I am going too in depth with my anxiety and she is going to leave me."wink  She has said time and again that she wants me to be able to share my feelings and anxieties, she has anxiety too, but for example tonight she hasnt responded to any of my texts and of course my anxiety is going insane, I just need people to understand what I'm going through, and any advice is of course appreciated. 

0 likes, 5 replies

5 Replies

  • Posted

    I know exactly what you're going through, I go through the same things almost daily when I talk to my friends. I know this may sound very blunt but you have to let it all go. let go of the fear, let go of the doubt.

    Also be brave. smile in everything just take courage and have faith in God. Be brave in sharing, in being vulnerable and even if it doesn't work out, be brave in being alone somebody out there loves you. smile

    Share your anxiety. be honest with her. "honesty breeds intimacy" isn't that we all want in a relationship? 

  • Posted

    She might be sleeping or just really busy. Dont jump to any conclusions. Blunt is not a bad thing as long as its not coming from a bad place. If she said its fine to vent then it is but also be sure to laugh and have fun too,
  • Posted

    The more you worry the more you'll go into thoughts stop the cycle stop the worrying be rational and if she wants you to open and share your fears then do that but also go and get medical help see your go

  • Posted

    Hi Nick,

    I meant to msge u other day so sorry it's abit late. I wanted to reply cos a lot of things rang true about ur relationship and mine.

    I too had worries about my ex (was she the right one, did we really connect, was I unsure about our future) but it's a catch 22 situation cos if u share this then u risk them doubting u.

    I didn't share wen I had anxiety and I tensed up slot in the relationship. I hav social anxiety and this extends to any relationship I hav or if I'm In groups of people. It's relentless. I question everything I say, in particular, does this sound like it fits in? Do I sound normal? It's exhausting. It's like everything I say I have to check it before I say it. If it doesn't sound gud to me I rubbish myself.

    Anyway I wish I had shared my anxieties now cos it would hav built trust more. I think Both people in the relationship need to be honest and sharing insecurities is a gud way to build the relationship.

    Yet I remember thinking I feel weak if I tell her this or that (stuff to do with how I feel generally to do with how I see myself and the social anxiety)

    You should try to share a worry and see how she reacts. U said she's quite blunt but I'm sure she has a soft side. Nobody can be blunt all the time.

    If u feel u can't share then the relationship won't work long term.

    But I do understand where ur coming from.

    Phil

  • Posted

    Nick,

    I can also emphasize with what youre feeling. I recently developed severe anxiety and have had a difficult time opening up to my boyfriend because Im afraid he wont understand or want to talk about it.

    I believe that youre girlfriend will reply soon, but consider at some point talking openly about how you can work through some ways to reduce your anxiety together, as a team. In addition to seeking out professional counseling for more private conversations, Ive found that involving partners in finding a solution also allows them to understand a little better and part of helping you feel better.

    Best of Luck,

    Allie

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