Anxiety after terror attack. Symptoms of PTSD?
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I was very recently caught up in the aftermath of a terrorist attack which happened on my street about half a mile from my home. I feel very upset, anxious and exhausted and I am finding it impossible to work or to think about anything but what happened and what could have happened to me and my family. I don't know how to move on or improve how I am feeling and feel too guilty to ask a professional as I was not face to face with the terrorists and, in the end, was not in any immediate danger as we fled the area and the police neutralised the threat before they got near our home. Is it possible to suffer from the symptoms of PTSD even if you were not in imminent danger, in the end? I feel very guilty and confused. I want to move on, but don't know how and feel a fool for asking for professional help when others witnessed or experience violence and I did not.
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john_53927 cobbler12345
Posted
Good Evening,
I'm so sad to read about the terrible situation that you encountered recently.
I'm not in the least surprised that you are afraid and upset by this terrorist attack. What an ordeal!
A friend of mine went through an awful time concerning war and death. It came to a point where he could not read a daily newspaper, neither could he watch the news on television. He was so scared!
However, the good news is that he's now considerably better and has gone back to work and is providing for his family again..
One of the worst anxiety attacks I had was about 2 years ago and I just wanted to die. i begged my psychiatrist to give me medication that would "knock me out cold", but because I was already on a cocktail of drugs she did not know what else to give me. I pleaded with God "to take me home" as the pain and suffering was so unbearable.
It's important to note that there can be many differences between high anxiety,
severe depression and life-changing trauma. I suffer all three and that's why I'm prescribed high doses of medication. Night terrors, heavy sweating and daily flashbacks have become part of my life and i can only deal with my mental state a day at a time, sometimes hour by hour.
Have you had bad anxiety before this trauma? I really hope that you have seen a good doctor by now. I would advise medication short-term and see what you are like in the next couple of months. Reflect, and take matters from there on.
My trauma(s) started in 1987 and I had delayed PTSD before being finally diagnosed. Having it for nearly 30 years has taken its toll. Like you, i'm so exhausted. I need to sleep during the day because I'm so tired mentally. I often feel that I want to cry -but the tears won't come. Not since 1987!
Do not bottle up what your going through. You need to let go to someone, be it a doctor, a friend or ideally both. You require a diagnosis for PTSD/Anxiety/Panic Attacks, and the sooner you give your GP a ring the better.
I can understand you being confused but as for as the guilt is concerned you are certainly 'not guilty'. The reality being, your a victim too! That is the "truth" and you need to accept this no matter how painful your suffering. Guilt is NOT justified.
Sorry that I did'nt get back to you earlier but it's been a difficult week. If i can be of further help please get in touch again.
The Lord bless You
John
cobbler12345 john_53927
Posted
Dear John
Thank you very much for taking the time to respond, and apologies for my delayed answer. I am heartened to know that the things I am feeling are normal and not some sort of over-reaction. It sounds odd, but I have been worried that I am somehow over-reacting and lying to myself as I don't feel I 'deserve' to feel the way I do as I was not physically harmed or killed, like some of our neighbours. I am particularly struck by your comment about crying. I have struggled a lot to hold the tears back when I have walked through the area in which the attack happened, seen the news, or just thought about that night (even when miles away), but I have not once been able to let the tears come. I have, in fact, never cried over a significant trauma, which only now strikes me as unusual as I often cry over less significant, sentimental things. I have suffered with anxiety in the past, though never spoken to a professional about it. I certainly see some of the same behaviours - feeling guilty, frustrated, irritable and self-deprecating - heightened in this period after the attack, but with nightmares and sort of waking dreams about what happened and what could have happened. I recently went away, far from the area, and lay in a comfortable, quiet, safe room having terrible, violent waking dreams about the attack. It was then that I realised this is out of my control, not some sort of self-deceptive over-reaction and that I need help. My husband has arranged for us both to see a counsellor. Thank you so very much for taking the time to write to me and to share your experiences. I pray that your health will improve. Thanks again.