Anxiety and Depression because of Health Issues.

Posted , 5 users are following.

Hello everyone,

I am currently suffering from anxiety and depression stemming from 6 months ago when i had my gallbladder taken out. I was really sick for months after, and i'm still not 100%. i also contracted C Diff which is a bacterial infection of the colon which i probably picked up when i was in the hospital. I recently relapsed and i'm back on medicine which i'm coming to the end of.

My biggest issue now is the anxiety from being sick for so long. My GI doctor put me on a low dose, 7.5 mg, of Mirtazapine, but for off label use to try to help my digestive system. It seems to have helped take the edge off my anxiety though as when i miss a day, i can tell.

I still have breakthrough days though. I get a feeling of dread like i will never get better. I can only work part time cause thats all my body can handle right now. I feel like i can't be a good wife and mom cause i go to work, then home to bed. My days are mostly spent in bed. i feel like crap when i try to get out of the house like i'm afraid. I cry a lot. I feel so isolated because of this.

My GI can't prescribed any anti depressants, and I don't have a regular doctor as I don't have insurance. Tried getting on state insurance (I live in Tennessee in the U.S), but i make too much money. I haven't done any counseling either because of the insurance issue. We don't have the money to pay outright either. Since i went part time at work, we barely have the money to pay our bills, and my husband works a full time job, and has a part time job on the side. We are in severe medical debt because of the surgery and several hospital stays and ER visits, and all kinds of tests that were ran including CT Scans, and a MRI.

At my worse, I color and watch YouTube videos and that seems to help a little, but i'm at a loss of what to do anymore. I've made the comment to my husband a couple of times of maybe if i wasn't here anymore, then he could get on with life. I would never kill myself though.

I just don't know what to do.

0 likes, 4 replies

4 Replies

  • Posted

    God love you, life is so hard, I I know how you feel, I'm trying to deal with health issues also, I pray things improve for us both.

  • Posted

    My heart goes out to you. My situation and yours seem to have quite a bit in common although I do have health insurance. I can't imagine you poor thing without it. There has to be some way for you to get help. Are there any types of counseling available on a sliding scale? I understand the anxiety about going out. I have been disabled with an on the job back injury since 1998. I've had 4 back surgeries, all of which have failed. Working through til 2008 before I had 1st major surgery. Has been a nightmare ever since. I cant do much of anything due to my back, I live alone and have nobody to help. Being alone 24/7 is taking its toll on me, believe me so I know what it feels like to feel like your ability to do for yourself and your family has gone away through no fault of your own. I ask myself each day, what is my purpose in life? Who am I anymore? I'm not the same person that I was. I just started counseling and am on some anti anxiety meds. They dont like me taking because of the low dose of pain meds I'm taking.

    I am learning in therapy that I do have a purpose and that I am too hard on myself for not being the same person as before. I dont know you, but I'm guessing that since you've had to start going through this type of life that has changed so dramatically that you probably dont feel as productive and as valuable as you once did. Being stuck inside the house and being nervous about leaving is normal I've been told. Our world has gotten smaller due to our pain and limitations and we aren't sure of ourselves anymore. There are days that I dont even want to get up but as long as God is keeping me alive there has to be a reason to still be here. Admittedly, sometimes I wonder what that reason is but I keep on going. Ending it myself is not an option and never will be.

    I know I probably didn't help you much, if at all, but I did want you to know that there are people out here that DO understand and care. I only wish I could fix things for you. You have my prayers and Hope's that God will find a way for you to get the help you need. As far as medical bills go, you can only do what you can do. You can't get blood out of a turnip. I don't live in TN so not sure to what options you have. Sometimes the hospitals and providers will work with you and lower the bill or even do a write off. I feel for you and send my prayers. I wish there was more...

  • Posted

    youve got to figure out a way to get on meds. is there a clinic?

  • Posted

    I I completely understand what you're going through and went through the same thing. I also got my butter out back in 2016, and it was very hard it took me almost a year to start to feel like myself again. hang in there it'll get better it just takes time. are you able to talk with your husband? does he understand what you're going through? I know that my husband didn't understand and it was so hard to talk to him about anyting and I felt so alone which made things ten times worse.

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