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Anxiety and depression from all of this

Posted , 9 users are following.

patty818
patty818

Hi

I don't even know where to begin.  I feel so down and anxious about this.  I've had this dizzy thing now for 9 months.  I look in the mirror and all i see is this tired, fearful and alone person.  I try every day to be positive and happy, but it eludes me.  I been through so much medically in the past 9 months, first the dizziness hit, then my neck and headaches got so bad I had trigger point injections, and those messed up my thyroid levels in my blood, I'm hypothyroid have been for about 13yrs, I'm still having pain in the neck and head so I am having atlas orthoganal adjustments done for the C1 and I think thats worrying me, cause not many know about it.  I'm still working on my thyroid levels and hoping to get them back to normal.  So needless to say I have not been well for a long time.  I was never one to be sick, but now my life seems to revolve around it.  

I wake up each day with hope that I will be better today, but most days I'm  not.  I spend many hours praying and looking for a reason I'm sick. I cry alot to.  I feel totally alone in this.  I talk to my family about it, but I know its hard to understand when you don't have this.  They are supportive and helpful, but its hard for me to come home everyday from work, barely cook dinner and just lay on the couch, either with a headache and neck pain or the dizziness alone.  I feel I am lost in this.  I think what bothers me most is, will it ever go away or will I be like this for the rest of my life.  I'm 53 and I feel like I'm 90.  I'm afraid of everything, because I'm afraid anything I do will bring on more dizziness.  I'm anxious about it all the time, every tiny twinge of anything and I'm having anxiety.  I'm so tired of feeling like I'm moving all the time, no matter what I do, I'm moving.  The other thing is, its not consistant, one day lightheaded, the next feeling like i'm falling, the next vertigo that brings on head and neck pain that can last for 5 hrs or 3 days, its never the same so I'm constantly wondering if its something new.  Its exhausting.

I have general anxiety disorder, but its usually under control, but this has taken over my life.  Constant worry.  I don't want to talk to my family or friends about the anxiety and depression, because i'm sure they are tired of hearing about it.  I think i could handle more if it was so constant, the dizziness I mean, i don't have just small spurts of it, it goes on all day.  Do you guys have it all day, everyday mostly?  What about your anxiety, does it seem higher to you?  

I guess i"m just looking for reassurance in all this.  That it sounds normal for vestibular disorders, I don't know.  There are so many symptoms that overlap, its hard to know anything.  I just keep looking and hoping, but my hope is dwendling.  

Well thanks for listening

 

0 likes, 13 replies

13 Replies

  • kathie37110
    kathie37110 patty818

    Posted

     I know how you feel - your world becomes very small and it's a scary world at that.  This is a wonderful group for support and maybe some answers. I had dizziness all day and became very paranoid about falling or being stuck somwhere.  Just having a place to come and read comments and ask questions is comforting to me.  I hope it will be a comfort to you as well.  I had something called Ear Crystals.  Google that and you will the symptoms are very similar to yours.
    • patty818
      patty818 kathie37110

      Posted

      Thank you for you post.  It is very scary living this way daily.  Do you still have dizziness?  I had the crystals 5 yrs ago but the ENT didn't find that this time.  He says it vestibular dysfunction, i'm not even sure what that means.  Its comforting to come here ad thankfully others can understand.

      Thank you

    • kathie37110
      kathie37110 patty818

      Posted

      I do not have vertigo anymore.  It took two separate rounds to get rid of it - but I do still have balance problems and weakness on my left side.  I used to have to always be touching a wall or a banister for stabilization.  I am pretty good inside now but outside I can't walk more than about 10 steps without having something to touch or have somebody's arm.  It's very frustrating because I mostly look fine, I just can't walk.  Parking lots with uneven payment are the worst for me.  A lot of things I just don't even do - like shopping for pleasure.  Sigh.
  • victoria78511
    victoria78511 patty818

    Posted

    Hi do you feel like you are beening pulled to the one side.I do not have the dizziness but feel like I'm swaying did have headache I feel like I've been drinking
    • patty818
      patty818 victoria78511

      Posted

      HI, thats what I have, feeling like i'm swaying or rocking, I call it dizzy.  I also have the headache its not full headache all the time, but its there and so is the neck and shoulder tightness.  Sometime I feel like i'm being pulled to one side usually the left or like i'm being pushed forward when walking,  Also feel like the floor is moving when I walk. 

      What other symptoms do you have?

    • victoria78511
      victoria78511 patty818

      Posted

      Sound like I've got EnT said to close my eyes and put my arms out straight March on the spot count to 50 when I opened my eyes i turned to the left he said I've got a weak balance system you should try it to see if you turn to the left let me if you try it? I've got tinnitus in my left ear and Flickr in my eye. Have you seen a EnT or phsyo I paid private to see a second EnT he said i've got vestibular neuronitis i'm tied all the time just like you Do not let it get to you Vicky
  • manda08392
    manda08392 patty818

    Posted

    I'm so sorry for how you feel and I do understand. Over the last 15 months I've had a couple of breakdowns because this takes over your life but it doesn't take over the lives of those around you and therefore, it's very isolating.

    It's gotten better for me and I see lots of comments about things getting better for others too. However, I don't know what you have. Have you gone to a doctor and gotten any testing over the last 9 months?

    • patty818
      patty818 manda08392

      Posted

      Hi

      I have gone to the ENT, he says I have vestibular dysfunction and I'm going to start VRT in about 2 weeks.  I'm not sure what vestibular dysfunction is tho, I'm guessing its the inner ear  I have VNG testing done about 6 weeks ago, and when they put the air in my right ear I got extremely dizzy and they could not finish the test, but i did get thru the beginning with the goggles on.  I think alot of it is, the VRT and will it work, it scares me not knowing anything really.  

      I'm glad it better for you, what did you do to get well?  Do you still have the dizziness?

      Thanks for talking with me.

       

    • manda08392
      manda08392 patty818

      Posted

      Oh yuck! Here in the states we call it an ENG and it's AWWWFFFUUULLLL, I hated that test with a vengence.

      I do not have vestibular dysfunction, I have loss of curvature in my neck that puts pressure on my brain resulting in mainly migraines, dizziness and auras in my vision.

      My treatment has been a combination of medical massage, chiropractic adjustment and physical therapy every week. I still get dizziness but it is sooo much better. I used to get rabid dizzy spells 4-10 times in an hour lasting anywhere from a few seconds to 4 minutes and very often when driving. This 4-10 times an hour was every waking hour of the day and it was the worst symptom that scared me the most! Now I get 1 or 2 max a day, they are briefer, less severe and sometimes I can sense them coming. I've even gone a couple of days in a row here and there without any dizziness.

      Progress is slow but it's progress.

    • Terry6872737
      Terry6872737 patty818

      Posted

      Hi Patty,

      The VRT is nothing to worry about.  It may make you worse before it makes you better but, be resolute in trying to work through it.  It is the only thing that will help the brain to see that the mixed signals from the inner ear need to be synced up to make sense to your balance system.

      I have been recovering for 2 years and it is still an ongoing process.  I was diagnosed with Vestibular Neuritis (a viral attack on the inner ear leading to a vestibular dysfunction).  While I am much improved I still have a ways to go.  I was originally told by my doctors, GP, Neurologist and multiple ENTs, that I would recover in 6 to 8 weeks.  Then told maybe up to 16 weeks.  Well, needless to say, they were incorrect.  I'm not sure that any medical profession truly has a handle on what causes the issues that so many of us are experiencing.  And, I also feel that the condition that we have is not necessarily the same issue for all of us.  That may be why we struggle so much to find the answers that we so desperately seek.  I do believe that once you experience this and the anxiety kicks in, it is hard then to tell which is causing the symptoms.  Anxiety can cause so many health related issues that it makes it hard to seperate.  I have read a study indicating that those of us that are pre-disposed to anxiety have a much slower recovery than others.  I would strongly recommend ensuring that the anxiety part is treated with an SSRI medication.  An SSRI will not impact the brains ability to compensate but, a benzodiazepene will.  Benzos are things like Xanax, Klonopin, Valium, Anti-vert, etc.

      Other things that I did to aid my recovery, and I am not sure if they really contributed to recovery or not (I just know that through research and doctor recommendations they are mentioned to help), reduced my sodium intake to 2000mg per day, drink plenty of fluids daily, increased Vitamin D intake, cut out caffeine, alcohol and chocolate, take Ginkgo supplement, 81mg aspirin daily, along with the VRT.

      Best of luck in your recovery.  The VNG test that you had is supposedly the gold standard in diagnosing the exact cause of a vestibular deficit.  You will recover but, it will be a slow process.  Do not look to recover as quickly as the condition came on.  Recovery will be measured in weeks and months, not days.  Keep a journal so that you can look back and see how you have improved.  When you have setbacks and as time goes by it will seem like nothing is getting better but, if you have a journal to look back on you will see the differences.  A book that I highly recommend reading is "The Ghost in My Brain".  While the author suffered a concussion leading to his condition, the symptoms a very similar and  his recovery process mirrors the recovery that we go through.  He offers a lot of hope and advice.  You will see a lot of the issues that we face with the medical community and their lack of understanding as well.

      Terry 

  • RikC
    RikC patty818

    Posted

    Hi Patty

    It has been over a week now since I have been dizzy all day, with brain fog and extreme mental fatigue. I am keeping everything crossed that I have come out the other side of my vestibular disorder.

    Anxiety had, and is still having, an effect on me as a result of this disorder. For 2 months I have had moments - in meeting rooms at work, on an airplane, on a bus - where I've had a bit of an anxiety attack. I've now learnt how to spot anxiety - feeling a bit dizzy, short of breath - and I use breathing techniques to calm myself down. I force myself to say, ' this is just my ear playing up' and to 'take deep breathes' and after about a minute I feel normal again.

    This is a cruel condition. Over the last 8 weeks I've had moments where I thought I had recovered only for it to come back as bad as ever. I still have moments of dizziness in low light but on the whole I feel a lot better.

    My symptoms were: ears feeling full and clicking, lots of mucus/catarrh, tension headaches, inability to focus on things more than 6m away, difficulty remembering things such as people's names even though I'd just been introduced to them, sore/stiff neck, feeling spaced out and 'gormless'.

    One thing that definitely had a positive benefit for me and which left me feeling normal for a couple of days was exercising for long durations eg. I did teo half marathons and spent a week skiing. I know that's not for everyone but I do think those extended intense physical sessions helped - possibly with compensation training?

    By the way I still feel a bit odd walking in low light conditions (like I'm drunk) but it is quite minor.

    So my advice is to keep your chin up, say to yourself this is just your ear and I'm not going mad, look into managing anxiety as that seriously amplifies how bad you feel, and just remember you will be normal again.

    Best wishes

  • Bestie711
    Bestie711 patty818

    Posted

    Patty, what can I say. If it will make you feel better, I've had this since 1981. I was 18 when it hit me. We may not have the same thing, but this thing sure confuses the hell out of me. I hear people saying they've got such and such a symptom and I think "whoa, that sounds just like me" but then they mention things like nausea or vomiting and not once have I had that. There seems to be several conditions that sound similar and perhaps that's why doctors can't get it right either.

    But, coming back to your post, I can see that you're terribly down. From my experience, this thing does get better, but it also can come back. I know it's no compensation, but there will come a time when you'll feel better. Make full use of those times and appreciate them. 

    I have never been the same since 1981. It's ruined my life. I too was constantly swaying and bobbing 24 hours a day. I felt like I was whizzing through the air, like I was floating, unbalanced, being pulled one way, like when you're standing in a bus and it's braking to stop. Some other symptoms which just didn't make sense. Some of these have calmed down, but my balance and lightheadedness are still there and I hate it. Until I came to this site recently, I thought I was the only one who had these weird symptoms and now I can see there are so many others as well. I now know it's 'not in my head' as one or two doctors thought. You're not alone in this. We're here too.

  • lissibith
    lissibith patty818

    Posted

    I hear you on all this. It's hard to stay positive, or even just calm, when your normal routines have been disrupted. I have constant dizziness too, though not for as long as you (coming up on 6 months here). I know everything I used to do that might distract me (reading, writing, even video games) I can't do anymore. I imagine you're having some of the same? And I know too that feeling of opening my eyes in the morning and nurturing that hope that maybe this time the room will stay steady and I can walk without a wall there to grab. 

    I too was diagnosed with vestibular dysfunction, and I've been doing the VRT. Sometimes it was difficult (since you're going to do some things that make the dizziness worse), but it's nothing scary, and even if I don't know if I've gotten *better* from mine, I know I've gotten stronger and more confident about moving and doing things in spite of the dizziness. It's definitely worth doing.

    I hope it helps and you get on the road to recovery!

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