1. Community
  2. Mental health
  3. Anxiety Disorders

Anxiety and Grief

Posted , 3 users are following.

Sapphireangel81
Sapphireangel81

I have lived with anxiety for over 20 years. All of which I have been medicated for. I am currently taking 225 mg of Effexor XR daily and it typically works great. For the past year or so my oldest son who is 18 has been making some very bad choices, illegal ones even. Empty promises, dropping out of school, being disrespectful, doing drugs, running away. The list goes on. In February of this year my father was diagnosed with a non curable cancer. In March it was found that he actually had non hodgkins lymphoma stage 2. What a relief to say the least. His doctors gave him an 80% success rate for being cured. He did half a chemo treatment the first go around and did great. At the beginning of June he did a second round, this time a full dose. By June 13th he was being ambulanced to the hospital with sepsis and on June 21st he succumbed to this infection. My mom, sister and I were in the room when he took his last breath. A few days prior to this my 18 year old stole my husband's truck, credit cards and work equipment. It took 2 days to catch him. The truck was damaged and some equipment was missing. He's now in jail. I know my plate is full and I understand my condition pretty well but I'm confused right now. I cried a lot the day we lost my dad and even days prior. But ever since we left the hospital for the last time, my tears are few and far between. I have convinced myself that Ill see my dad this weekend when I go over like I always do. When my mind starts to think about the fact that he is gone, I start feeling like I'm suffocating and can't breathe. I have reached out to a place that handles grief counseling and hopefully they can get me on their schedule. I just feel horrible because to people that see me, on the outside I look fine. But inside I'm struggling. I feel like I'm on the edge of having a breakdown and I'm scared to let myself deal with that.

0 likes, 4 replies

4 Replies

  • jan34534
    jan34534 Sapphireangel81

    Posted

    I am really sorry for your loss. It’s devastating to lose a parent or any loved one. I have lost both of my parents and even after many years certain things trigger memories and my heart is broken again.

    You are going through a lot right now with losing your father and your sons situation. I’m really glad that you will most likely get into grief counseling because you need that support right now. You don’t have to hold in your grief and it’s OK to tell other people that you’re not doing so well right now. It’s too much of a burden to hold it all in. People understand.

    when you feel like you are suffocating or kind of panicky, you can really is that up by proper breathing for anxiety and panic. You can find this on YouTube and you can also find some great meditations for grief, anxiety, panic, etc.

    what you are going through is perfectly normal and natural after a loss. Stick with the counseling and eventually you will feel a little better but give yourself lots of time to get there. It’s a process and you are going to have some Okay days and some not OK days but that’s all part of the grief process.

    also, take care of your health. Make sure you are eating healthy and staying hydrated with water. Getting a little bit of exercise even walking, will release the feel good hormones in the brain.

    remember one day at a time! You’re going to be OK. Private message me anytime. Take care

    • Sapphireangel81
      Sapphireangel81 jan34534

      Posted

      Thank you so much for your kind words jan34534. I found a place I feel like I can go to for counseling and will be calling them today to set up an appointment. My mom and I have also been talking a lot and working through how we are feeling. We are just being there for each other as well as my brother and sister. It definitely isn't easy. Today I woke up and I just felt sad. It is raining here also, so that kind of puts me in a somber mood anyway. I am working on the obituary for my mom and I finally realized today that I keep putting off finishing it because once I am done, I can't pretend that he isn't here anymore. I haven't had to deal with something like this before so I am just going with the motions at this point, but I will definitely take your recommendations into consideration and try them out.

    • jan34534
      jan34534 Sapphireangel81

      Posted

      i’m glad you’re taking those steps to feel better. It’s OK if you get somber, you are going through a grieving process and give yourself permission to cry and feel sad.

      We can’t cover that up and if we do we feel worse.

      that’s great that you and your mom are talking. You need each other now and that’s a great support! And getting counseling on top of that is awesome. You are on the right track definitely. Take one day at a time.❤

  • sasical72
    sasical72 Sapphireangel81

    Posted

    Hi, just read your post and wanted to check in to ask how you're getting on? x

Back to top

Report or request deletion

Thanks for your help!

We want the community to be a useful resource for our users but it is important to remember that the community are not moderated or reviewed by doctors and so you should not rely on opinions or advice given by other users in respect of any healthcare matters. Always speak to your doctor before acting and in cases of emergency seek appropriate medical assistance immediately. Use of the community is subject to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and steps will be taken to remove posts identified as being in breach of those terms.