Anxiety and keep thinking I have bipolar
Posted , 4 users are following.
Recently been diagnosed with anxiety and low mood and have ocd tendacys !
Been on citalopram for 6 weeks 10mg 3 weeks and 20mg 3weeks
My anxiety came after having my third baby 6/11/17 and then having a full blown panic attack on the 13th so not long after having my third child !
My anxiety revolves around worrying about my health thinking I’ve got anything and everything ! My main obession is my heart and head two things that can’t be checked with a simple Dr’s appointment !
Since being on citalopram ive felt better had good days but still had the anxiety in the background but just keep reminding myself that it’s all ok and nothing to be afraid of and just keep pushing through the day ! Recently I’ve had two fairly good days but then today where I can feel happy and looking forward to the future and felt good to hear people say they can see a difference in me and telling me that the old me is coming back ! Made me feel excited and looking forward to the future and feeling good about myself as all I wana do is feel better !
That’s when the thought hit me ! Is this something else ? Is it more than anxiety is it bipolar am I having a hypo manic episodes or manic etc ! (Apologise in advance if anyone reading this is bipolar etc and I offend you just trying to get some advice etc)
Looked up signs and symptoms and thought well yea I can be more talkative at times etc yes I can want to do things at times more than other times ! I can feel good about myself 1 min and then next min feel self doubt but isn’t that the same as lacking self confidence !?!
I can feel irritated and annoyed at times I have three children so any mum or dad feels these feelings on a daily basis etc
I can feel like ooo we will take kids there and here at some point next year etc !
It was almost like I was seeing myself in the bipolar and hypo manic symptoms as I was reading them part from some
I don’t do drugs etc hardly drink at all ! Don’t really spend money as I haven’t got money to go on spending sprees only buy stuff I need with the odd treat here and there etc
I sleep at night cuz I don’t sleep through the day as when my baby is asleep I get housework done etc !
Yes I feel like I have more energy lately but isn’t that because I’m feeling better and recovering from having a baby ! Don’t get me wrong o don’t have the energy to go run a marathon or anything just feel like I can do my housework again and look after my kids etc where as at the start I couldn’t really do it ! Drove me mad not being able to do as I like everything to have it’s own place I like tidyness don’t mind if kids mess it up but like stuff to have a home etc !
Am I just over annalysing things ?! And causing myself more anxiety over something I haven’t got ?!
Recently started talking therapy kind of like cbt and had assessment with a psychologist !
Mental health nurse and psychologist don’t think I have bipolar or showing any signs of hypo manic or manic episodes !
Again sorry if you offend anyone by asking this ! It’s just something I wanted to ask ! Plus would rather know if anyone else feels this way ?!
Many thanks 😊
0 likes, 17 replies
nicola282406
Posted
Still felt the need to clean and liked a tidy house etc ! Was on them untill mid last year !
borderriever nicola282406
Posted
It sounds like you are glowing at the birth of your new on and you are enjoying everything after the event.
Some ladies can suffer low mood after a birth, you just seem very happy.
I do not feel you have much to worry about, you have a nice Christmas with your family and that new member
BOB
nicola282406 borderriever
Posted
Thank you for the reply 😊 I do feel happy I’m happy with my life my family my home friends etc couldn’t ask for anything else to be honest ! I’m not a money money money kind of person neither I see it as along as you have essentials your health and your family then you can get through anything !
I just thgot Anxiety & ocd thoughts keep creeping in ! I know I’m only at the start of my anxiety journey so have to take he highs with the lows !
Just I wish I would just accept what professional metal health are telling me and not keep thinking of what if u have this or that etc ! As when ever i do think I might be bipolar or something else all ot does is make me anxious !
Earlier today I felt happy excited and looking on the bright side thinking yea your doing good other people think so too and then all of sudden an unwanted thought pops into my head ‘oh your excited happy etc does this mean your bipolar etc’ and all that did was made me feel really uneasy and then more thoughts oh what if they got it wrong what if I am something else and they can’t see it ! What if you hide it well etc etc etc then the internal shake sets in and the what If thoughts and the looking it up on google etc which never helps
when really what I should of been doing was enjoying feeling happy etc !
Thank you again for reply and hope you have a lovely Christmas aswell 😊
borderriever nicola282406
Posted
I would advise strongly that you leave Google alone, personally I always now look at my condition in a very simplistic way where I live for the day although I am very wary and cynical with people around me and the pain I suffer on a daily basis
I look at life on the day, I try and not look back as my Short Term Memory is shot, looking at tomorrow before I have my breakfast on that day is a waste of time.
In your case stop questioning why you are happy and content with your lot, you are fortunate to have such a dynamic Christmas with your new addition. I never question happiness it is a gift and we need to accept that and move on to better times. Yes sometimes we get a curved ball, that just makes life interesting. As long as the ball is caught tomorrow can just get better
Stop worrying, Turkeys are in the shop next Tuesday. Merry Christmas New Year
BOB
nicola282406 borderriever
Posted
Thank you for reply the turkey part made me smile 😊
I know what your saying is right & I’ve been told so many times to stay away from google ! I even know myself I should stay away from it as it just makes a situation 1000 times worse !
My mental health nurse tells me she wish she could delete it off my phone lol ! But she’s right & so are you I just need to enjoy the good times & not question it !
Sorry to hear your in pain on a daily basis ! Thank you for reply and sound advice wishing you well and a happy Christmas and new year 😊
borderriever nicola282406
Posted
Have a Merry Christmas and New Near.
If you feel the need to Google, call me here instead
BOB
nicola282406 borderriever
Posted
Thank you bob 😊 hope you have a merry Christmas & new year aswell !xx
borderriever nicola282406
Posted
Have a nice time
BOBxx
kim27383 nicola282406
Posted
I've been taking escitalorpam for a couple of weeks now and last night I slept almost through the night for the first time. I'm slowing trying to get back to being myself after I've had some health scares. I Google stuff and make myself worse and I have panic attacks as well. I think that we need time to get back to ourselves after things happen. Change can be so scary and I am a mother of four. Sometimes I rely on my children so much to get me through my days and that's not really fair to them. Each day I do feel a little better. I may have some setbacks but I think that's normal in the healing process with the body and also the mind.
nicola282406 kim27383
Posted
That’s good that your starting to feel better bit by bit ! That’s the same as me different parts of the day I feel good & other parts my anxiety takes over but I just keep telling myself it’s just a feeling it’s just a thought ! & I don’t think google helps anyone if I’m honest ! It always gives you worse case scenario ! & then all that does it lets anxiety set it !
A lot of people have told me that with the internet almost people will only write about bad stuff they wont write any good points etc ! Apart from on here I think a lot of people help each other out on here as we’re all going through the same or similar process !
During my pregnancy I started to have low mood etc & then after I just felt on edge & that’s when all this started again ! I can’t say I’m unhappy as I’m not the only thing that drags me down is all this going on & Just wanting it to stop but that’s expected I mean who would want to go through something like this !
I do feel the tablets & therapy are working as I do have my good moments especially if I look back to when this first started I’ve come along way considering & Just got to keep going !
Doesn’t matter if u rely on your kids to help you get through ! Everyone has different ways of coping ! One day we will all look back at this & reaslise how proud we should be of ourselves for how far we have come !!
One thing that helps me is reminding myself that anxiety can’t hurt you all it is, is feelings & thoughts ! Just Gota to keep correcting negative thoughts & telling yourself nothing is the matter with you as realistically there is nothing wrong your just overly anxious !
Wishing you well & hope we all get back to being ourselves asap !xx
kim27383 nicola282406
Posted
nicola282406 kim27383
Posted
Your right it really does help 😊 you almost find comfort in speaking to people going through the same or similar situations!xx
kim27383 nicola282406
Posted
I definitely feel that way. I'm happy when I see the comments in my email and know there are caring people out there. I've driven the people I work with every day crazy with my worrying but most of them don't have any of the same issues so they don't get it. They try but it's not quite the same.
nicola282406 kim27383
Posted
Yes I get What u mean I don’t work at moment not long had a baby (no3) & I feel as though I’m getting on my partners & mums nerves ! But on here you can’t get on anyone’s nerves we all try to help each other out & try to give advice it’s a good forum & havent come across anyone being nasty or horrible not yet anyway !xx
kim27383 nicola282406
Posted
Yes exactly I'm thankful I found these forums. So helpful and it eases my mind.