Anxiety and Panic Attacks??? 20+ years of trying to deal with it...
Posted , 9 users are following.
I was first diagnosed with anxiety back in 1995, and have been dealing with it for some 20+ years. My main symptoms are chest related, pain, pressure, tightness, palpitations. Anything text book heart attack symptom, I've had it. I also have symptoms like pins and needles all over my body, nausea, IBS, heartburn, pain in my arms, back, joints, feeling like the walls are closing in on me, pain in the epigastric and upper tummy areas, insomnia, nightmares, depression, etc. I also have been diagnosed with GERD, B12 deficiency, and anemia. I was told I possibly had fibro as an explanation for my widespread pain a few years ago but never officially diagnosed with it. I have been in and out of the E.R. hundreds of times, seen multiple doctors, therapists, and other specialists. I have had every cardiac workup you can imagine multiple times and even had a heart cath in 2012. All normal by the way. I have had 3 full g.i. workups, scoped upside down and inside out 3 times now, never finding anything. I have of course had blood tests for everything under the sun, the usually find nothing. I have been on just about every drug ever made for anxiety, depression, panic attacks, fibro, and pain. I am currently uninsured and not on any medication on a regular basis, which makes controlling my symptoms very difficult. The last combo that I can remember I was on was clonazepam, amitriptyline, escitalopram, b12 injection, iron infusion. That was well over a year ago, only been able to get a 10 day supply of xanax or ativan from the E.R. during that time that I've broken down and gone in. Then of course they look at you like you just want drugs which sucks. I had my gallbladder removed in the early 2000s, they told me that was the cause of my pain, and that was supposed to fix everything. It just stopped me from having gallbladder attacks, I told them I could tell the difference, they are very distinctive. They thought I had a hiatal hernia, yet 3 scopes found nothing, not even the GERD they diagnosed me and treated me for. The past few days have been rough, I have been fighting the urge to run to the E.R., my pain and other symptoms have been making my mind go to that ugly place of thinking the worst. I struggle everyday but I wanted to let you know, I am still here!!! I haven't died yet, not one time that I thought I was dying, did I actually die. I know that seems kind of weird to say but I want you to know that, most of the time it is just anxiety, it isn't some horrible disease or something terribly wrong with you, it is just your mind overreacting to your body and your body reacting to your mind overreacting. It can be a vicious circle and it is kind of like which came first, the chicken or the egg. Is it the anxiety causing the pain or is it the pain causing the anxiety...most likely the answer is just, YES. Your pain is REAL, whether it is being caused by something physical or being caused by the brain, the pain is still REAL. I have tried to go about this as a check list of sorts, we are going to check off everything that is NOT wrong with me first, then try to work with what is left. I do have heartburn, that is real, and it can be treated, so I take over the counter meds to try and manage it, which in turn helps me manage my anxiety. If I am not in pain from the heartburn my anxiety doesn't increase and make things worse. I have kept a journal for most of these years, it helps me in times of my greatest distress. I write what I am feeling, every little symptom at that moment. Then I can look back when I am having similar feelings and say, see a year ago I felt exactly the same, the doctor said this, the tests came back normal, I didn't die. It helps me get through that moment. I am hoping that this helps someone to know they aren't alone, it isn't all in their head, and they are going to live. I am also looking for any words of wisdom on how I can deal with this on my own so to speak, until I can afford health insurance or pay out of pocket again, any tips or tricks or anything that has been helpful in dealing with these symptoms would be greatly appreciated. Be blessed and thanks in advance.
0 likes, 11 replies
jan34534 racheld1975
Posted
I have had anxiety my entire life and the symptoms started in my 20s. Im now my 50s.
I listen to meditations for anxiety on YouTube which really help me calm down., Including my symptoms. The more I do these the more it becomes automatic where my brain will take over and eliminate any negative thinking that leads to anxiety.
A good one to start with is called mindful meditation for relaxation .
there's a book called mindfulness that is excellent and teaches you everything you need to know to manage anxiety and regain peace of mind. Is the principle that is taught all around the world. It's a white book with a ball of string on the cover.
wishing you well 🌸🌸🌸
racheld1975 jan34534
Posted
Thank you, I spend enough time on YouTube when I can't sleep, I will look for the meditation video and I will look into finding the book.
AllianceMike racheld1975
Posted
racheld,
Great read. Thank you for writing it. I also have a myriad of physical symptoms, all of which my GP says are anxiety. I, sometimes, have a hard time believing that it's just anxiety.
Some symptoms include, stiff/sore neck which radiates soreness/pain into my left shoulder and down the left side of my back, body tremors (entire body), dizzy/foggy head, chest pain, many digestive issues, not much energy, etc. (I could go on and on. LOL!).
I, truly, feel like I have a disease or illness that has gone undetected. I have had many tests performed over the past 12 months including CT scan of brain, exercise stress test, abdominal ultrasound, upper gi endoscopy, colonoscopy, blood work, etc. Nothing of serious concern shows, but, I honestly, feel as though I am just going to drop over dead at any given moment. I, physically, feel that bad.
I am currently on 20 mg of Celexa (have been on it for a year), but it is not helping.
Some days, I feel as though I am at the end of my rope. I am worried, scared and discouraged. Any helpful hints?
racheld1975 AllianceMike
Posted
I understand exactly what you mean, after all these years and all the doctors and testing, I still FEEL like I am dying. It is hard to rationalize that you are alright when your body is signaling otherwise. I wish I had answers or a magic pill, sadly I do not. I will say that if you have been on a medication for over a year and you don't feel it is helping, talk to your doctor about it, ask if there is something else you can try or add to it. Remember you are your best advocate and you need to make sure your concerns are being heard. If the doctor won't listen, find another one. I have seen so many in my day that just didn't care, they treat you like a number, not a person. Try EVERYTHING, you never know what will help you. Meditation, exercise, a hobby like crocheting or knitting to take your mind off things, essential oils, or even medical marijuana if you are open to it. And if it doesn't work...NEXT! I have found a number of things that help me when I am feeling like this is it, I'm dropping dead in 3...2...1...I stop and breathe!!! Pay attention to how you are breathing, a lot of times we are hyperventilating without even realizing, take a few slow deep breaths. Then a grounding exercise, 5-4-3-2-1 GROUNDING EXERCISE
The “54321 game” is a common sensory awareness grounding exercise that many find a helpful tool to relax or get through difficult moments.
PROCEDURE
1. Describe 5 things you see in the room.
2. Name 4 things you can feel (“my feet on the floor” or “the air in my nose”)
3. Name 3 things you hear right now (“traffic outside”)
4. Name 2 things you can smell right now (or 2 smells you like)
5. Name 1 good things about yourself
You should feel calmer and more at ease by the end of the exercise. Repeat the 5 steps more than once if needed. Try out the technique in different situations, you may find it works well for insomnia, anxiety, cravings when quitting smoking or for general relaxation.
I also go take a nice long hot bath with epsom salts, helps to relax the tension in the muscles that anxiety leaves us with. Then I journal, if I am at the point where I am freaking out about to call for an ambulance or run out the door to go to the emergency room, I start writing. I write down the date and the time and I start describing every little thing I am feeling. I usually cry while writing, it is a kind of release and usually by the time I am done writing I am o.k. enough that I don't go to the hospital. I hope something I said helps you.
anxious.afraid racheld1975
Posted
I deal with gerd/IBS issues as well and I do have anxiety. For the most part I have learned to control it. Then there comes a time like tonight that I lose control and can't take it anymore! It started with my husband having a stomach bug that my son and I are now dealing with. Our stomachs hurt, we have heartburn and feel nauseous. Along with it my sciatic pain has returned and I am now a nervous wreck. I don't like the feeling sick or feeling pain, so anxiety sets in. I want to feel normal again and it feels like an eternity. I'm constantly thinking it's my heart and I'm going to die any moment, but I haven't. Like you, I'm still here living the moment in fear. My stress levels are at their highest and I'm afraid and feel alone. I have nobody to turn too. I want anxiety to go away and never come back. In the past praying and going to mass (I'm Catholic) helped a whole lot. Lately, though, I feel like I don't even know how to begin praying. I want to figure this all out and get the faith back I once had and be me again. I don't know if you believe in God but talking to him could help and bring you peace of mind.
racheld1975 anxious.afraid
Posted
Thank you for your reply...I talk to God on the daily, so far it hasn't gotten rid of my pain but I will continue to talk to him anyway!
kylie67682 racheld1975
Posted
This sounds exactly like what I have been through and my symptoms, nice to know your not the only one although it's real tough at times. The doctor has now said to me that my body is producing too much adrenaline! Have you found anything that helps in anyway?xx
racheld1975 kylie67682
Posted
Too much adrenaline??? Interesting! I was on a combination of meds a few years ago and felt the best I've ever felt, never 100% gone but I went for an entire year without going to the E.R. which is a big deal for me. I was on escitalopram, clonazepam, and amitriptyline. I was on state insurance (medicaid) and lost my insurance when I got a job because now apparently I make too much money even though it isn't enough to pay for insurance or going to the doctor out of pocket. I am hoping that my situation will change and I can get back under a doctors care and get back on my meds soon. I feel like I am dying almost everyday, right now as I am writing I am having chest and epigastric pain so bad I want to rip my chest open to relieve the pressure. Thanks again for the reply
haider43332 racheld1975
Posted
i also feel same like you i have my gall bladder surgery in 2010 two years i am fine and in dec 2012 i feel like my breathe stop and i have completely dark on my eyes i think i was pass out after few seconds every thing come back to normal-------i run towards hospital and they say its because of stomach i eat some thing wrong it look like a joke i come home and eat rice alot thats it when i was going to sleep i have shortness of breathe and i burp like a crazy person--when i awake in morning time its hard for me to take breathe i go to hospital and discuss with a doc he say its allergy but i sit in hospital that what if i have heart attack some one will see me and give me treatment fast-------no ecg nothings is done after a week i go to hospital again and done ecg that was clear then i move towards japan for a month even i was traveling i feel scared and my breathe stop and i feel i will die any time-------after one month i go back to my country and feel the same heaviness heart escape beats etc etc----i go to medical specialist and he do checku he say its bcoz of stress he give me depression medicine i used it for 2 months didnot help-----i go to cardiologist he run for chest x ray and ecg that was clear he change for me medicine of stress but didnot work after 2 weeks i go to another cardilogist where he think i might have heart problem he do for me echo that was clear-----it relax my mind and i feel well for a week or two then i feel the same--------long story short i visited more then 25 docs till now test i have done till now is------17 ecgs ,16 are normal one show some problem i believe i was burping in the ecg but my cardiolgist monitor my heart for 24 hours result was normal 99%-------2 heart echos,3 ultrasounds,3 time complete body blood tests,3 chest x rays,stool tests 2 times,tyroid tests,urine test,endoscopy,colonscopy done all of the tests all come normal but still now heaviness in left side chest,some time i feel some irregular beats after that i burp and take out air from my chest strange----it give me lot of panic------i have gas problem and also i burp alot my GI doc say i have gerd---------but my mind will not accept it and also i have on and off hard soft loose stool i can not tell one time my stool is hard then other moment i have loose stool--------2 weeks ago i go to a cardilogist here in Japan and he say that my tests a clear its bcoz of stress but i request for more test like ct scan---but he say in his clinic there is ct scan so he reffered me to a big hospital i go to another cardilogist he see all of my previous tests echo 24 hours holter ecg and he say nothing point any thing wrong or serious but i request for the Ct scan next week on 23 i have Ct scan------feel scared about ct scan and i am sure there is some thing wrong with my heart let see what will be the result i am scared but didnot do any panic i use lexapro 10 mg for 5 months it helps me alot----------some time i think that if its heart problem i will die till now bcoz its on the way to 5 years---------i am 31 year now-----------still feel the same heaviness in chest
My friend some time i cry to be very honest when i see other people are enjoying life and i always think that i will die today now tomorrow-----some time i am praying to God that God forgive my mistakes i will never do any thing bad but i think God didnot forgive me till now--------That people are to lucky that they didnot know that they have a heart problem in a second they have a heart attack and die-----------but a people like us will die every moment every day every second----that is the scary part you will not die and you can not enjoy the life every time heart will beat irregular and mind po0oo0op out worries---------i am waiting for my Cardiac Ct scan let see what happens-----------try to talk to you doctor about Lexapro 10 g one tablet a days at night time + Propranolol tablets 10 mg twice a day hope this will help your anxiety
Guest racheld1975
Posted
whodareswins racheld1975
Posted
Wow, just read your post. I'm a 38yr old male and have been suffering with anxiety since my early 20's. Gallbladder removed 2 years ago after horrific undiagnosed pain for months. My problems started when my thyroid became highly overactive which can cause panic attacks. That got sorted, now underactive and on daily meds. B12 deficiency came 4 years ago, turns out I have selective IGA defficiency, an auto immune disease passed down the family. It can cause many other illnesses, including diabetes, lupus etc. Just waiting on the next one to arrive. My anxiety has gradually got worse over the years, agrophobia, intrusive thoughts, now hate heights, balconies, eating infront of people, driving on motorways. It slowly eats away and becomes more restrictive. I've still managed to hold down a job and have a family but have weeks on end where every hour of every day is a struggle. I find exercise works, not smoking or drinking, although booze makes it all go away for a while, until the next day. It comes and goes for no reason, my thyroid meds seem to make it worse so always stay on the low end of the range. Insomnia was a huge problem, they won't give you sleeping pills for long, I now take quitiapene at night, half a tablet which knocks me out. A psychiatrist put me on them, it's not what it's meant for but a great side effect. The GP's had never heard of it but it's been a life saver. Currently going through a bad spell and back at the docs tmrw. Mental illness is horrific at times but I still believe I can rid myself of it one day. I aim for zero stress, good only knows how people cope without support and understanding, I'm probably a lucky sufferer. Good luck, keep strong and all the best.