Anxiety and sound sensitivity, I can't live like this

Posted , 6 users are following.

I'm in my early 20s and still living at home (don't let my username confuse you, sorry haha) 

I live in a tiny, crappy apartment with my parents. We live in a noisy suburb. I grew up in the quiet countryside, and this has been hard for me to adapt to this louder, fast paced lifestyle. 

I have to work downtown and take the bus in. The bus is very loud, the engine, and the people talking loudly in the morning. I get very angry at this and want to scream at them to stop. I'm trying to listen to music, and I can hear their voices even with my music playing.

My apartment is noisy because the walls are hollow and the floor is rickety. Every time my mom walks, she stomps like an elephant and it shakes the floor making a loud thumping noise. My bedroom is right next to the bathroom, so I can hear the shower every morning at 4:30am and 6am and it wakes me up and keeps me awake. The water rushing thru the pipes, sloshing in the tub, the shower curtain scraping the metal pole opening and closing. It sounds like the apartment is falling apart, it's that loud. If you put your ear to the ground and have your friend stomp right beside you, that's what normal walking sounds like. And it's worse because my mom walks really hard. 

My town is ALWAYS ON. All day on the weekends people are running their lawn mowers, there's construction every day of the week beginning at 7am, and there's constant traffic during the day. 

Nothing is every quiet. Every single day, 24 hours, there is someone making some awful noise. 

Work is quiet (I work in an office), but I have anxiety of getting yelled at. The people I work with are very nice, but my past jobs instilled a fear in me, that if I'm not doing something I'll  be yelled at. I know these people probably wouldn't do that to me, and it's an extremely low pressured job, but I still get scared. 

Growing up and today, my mother has NEVER validated my feelings. When I've told her that I'm sad or scared or anxious, she always said "No you're not! Suck it up! It's all in your head" and then moves on, ignoring my feelings.

I also panic about not having enough time. My job is very low stress, but working 9-5 is driving me insane. I am having extreme nightmares (terrors) of hurrying. Like right now I am freaking out typing all of this because I only have 10 minutes before I have to get ready (in a hurry) to get to work. My heart beats very fast and sometimes I even feel nauseous.

When it comes to my anxiety, these loud noises and having to hurry instantly give me headaches and a rapid heartbeat. I get headaches every day and my heart has been beating faster than usual lately. I always am clenching my jaw/teeth when I'm awake and asleep. Ever since I began this job in August, my anxiety is constantly running. Before, I would get short anxiety attacks once in a great while. But now it happens every day.

I never felt stressed or hurried when I was in college (other than normal stress over a test or something). I felt great living on my own at college, except I hated living with other people because they gave me anxiety. But if I lived completely alone, I think I'd be better off.

I don't know what to do about my feelings towards work either. It's a low stress job, but I freak out about having to be there 8 hours. I just want to do what I want which is write and make videos. I feel like i have no time for myself. I get home around 5pm, and by the time I shower and get things ready for the next day, it's 8pm (I take a long time to do things), and I have to go to bed around 10. 

My life feels like one big nightmare. I want to quit my job so bad but I need the money. Should I try to find a part time job? I was so content being unemployed (I sound like a loser, I know) because I didn't have to worry about time.

I don't have health insurance until January (hopefully) so I can't talk to a psychiatrist or anything right now. I don't know what to do. I can't go on living like this.

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  • Posted

    Sorry to hear you are struggling with the noise I understand how difficult it can be. I moved to the city from somewhere very quiet and all you could really see were fields and hear birds. Now its the same as you, construction work at 7am and the constant hustle and bustle of city life that literally never sleeps. It took a while to adjust and some days can still be really bad which are days I do extra. I do daily mindfulness which is really helpful when you practice it regularly even just 10 minutes a day can help so much. Mindfulness helps you to deal with every day things in a better way. See daily life as a busy road with lots of cars passing, currently you see these cars as noisy and distracting but once you start to practice the mindfulness you will learn to be able to be in the moment and allow things like fleeting thought to come and go and the cars to come and go and not feel the need to hold on to any thought about them just let then pass. If you do find yourself particular sensitive to noises like you find your ears hurt etc try exposing yourself gradually to these noises as what can happen is he more to try to cover sensitive ears to sounds the more sensitive they become they actually require exposure to the sounds. My partner has this and is currently exposing herself to uncomfortable sounds very gradually. She did get a hearing test first just to rule everything out with her hearing.

    Hope this id of some help. Xx

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  • Posted

    I feel the same as you.  Noise is driving me nuts.  I hear distressing noise all day, starting 5:30 am when the upstairs neighbor in the apartment complex gets up and starts walking very loudly on their wood floor, which creates pounding and stomping noises, and causes the wood floor to creak and squeak loudly.....which continues hundreds of times a day.  Many people in the apartment complex slam their doors when they leave or return home.  I can hear when people who live in the upstairs apartment take a shower or flush the toilet.  Noises from construction and gardeners and the refrigerator makes a lot of noise when the refrigerator compressor turns on, and the list goes on and on.  It's all driving me nuts, and I no longer can sleep.  If you have any answers or want to discuss this, please email me,

    Moderator comment: I have removed the email address as we do not publish these in the forums. If users wish to exchange contact details please use the Private Message service.

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  • Posted

    I feel your pain sad I've had anxiety and stress issues for the last year or so due to a relationship I'm still in the middle of being fully out of and I was put into a position where I had to move into a property with a family above me and I am constantly stressed out due to their noise. Some nights I don't even want to come home after work because I know I won't be able to relax and unwind due to the noise. I've spoken with the people face to face several times to no avail and have complained to their letting agent who don't care either. Sadly this is forcing me to want to sell and move a lot sooner than I'd originally planned which is really gonna hurt me financially as I've been a stay at home mom untill just over a year ago and I'm no spring-chicken. My anxiety and stress is constantly up, I can feel my heart racing from it and anger/rage towards them for all the noise. It seems to be an old build and there is nothing between their floorboards and my ceiling, and of course there's no carpet up there....I don't have to have dead silence but on going 'outside' noise like their tv, stomping around, dragging furniture around every other day, talking loudly, etc. just enrages me, that's the only way i can explain it. I have to keep myself from shouting quite vulgar things up at my ceiling at them but I do knock it with a stick from time to time in a "hey! keep it down" way. Due to the situation I had to 'purchase' and move in to this property, I'm now worried I've shot myself in the foot and will have a hell of a time selling it so I can move on. But I can't live like this for the period I had planned on living here and the people above and their landlord/letting agent don't care. But it is really effecting me mentally and physically and I've got a young teen child as well living here and it grates on his nerves too.

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  • Posted

    Hi dear I have this problem and I got professional help. Unfortunately it's not necessarily anxeity that is the root cause, the root cause is severe ptsd from a traumatic event. It's amazing what the brain remembers...and doesn't remember. You may have even blocked the event out of your mind which is what is causing the anxeity. You have no clue where this came from!! I would suggest head phones on the bus, and a therapist asap. I hope you feel better

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