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I have anxiety. Who doesn't? But to the point where I want to kill myself and end it all, is beyond ridiculous. I've been feeling like I'm in this dream like state, and everything is blurring past me. I don't pay attention and don't understand what's going on around me unless I really focus. I have a tightness in my chest and what feels like cramping.(a although I might actually be cramping). I also have constant bowel movements throughout the day.
I feel like I am actually going crazy. I feel scared and almost twitchy all the time. I've been to a treatment center/psych ward twice, and I'm still having the problem. I'm staying to wonder if I really am going insane or if anxiety can actually be this bad. I'm so scared and have already wanting to kill myself, but at the same time want to live and beat this monster.
I am on kalonapin, which seems to make the dream like state worse, and I was on Seroquil, but I was walking around like I was ridiculous drunk. So I stopped it. I'm trying to reach out for help so nothing does happen. I want to live, have more children after still born, and live in a big house.
I am a female, 19. I have my whole life ahead of me. Will someone please help or at least give me hope? If you don't have hope, what else do you have?
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