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Anxiety coming back with a vengeance

Posted , 10 users are following.

danny07958
danny07958

Okay, so over a year ago my experience with anxiety and panic attacks started. It was a terrifying and difficult time, but with the help of medication I was able to get a grip on it. In all this time I've built up coping mechanisms and learned a lot more about myself which has kept anxiety at bay. I have suffered from depression lately, but in all honesty I kind of forgot about my anxiety. I changed from Citalopram to Mirtazapine about 7 weeks ago now because I was becoming very depressed despite raising my dose of Cit. Mirtazapine has not been very effectual. It hasn't made me feel worse, but not better either. Anyways, for reasons unknown to me, my anxiety has creeped back into my life all of a sudden. The other day when coming home from work I started getting very anxious on the bus for no reason. I got off before my actual stop to walk for a bit to calm me down, but I felt very much on the edge of a panic attack. I had forgotten how horrible it feels. When I got in I had to do a lot of talking myself down  accompanied by a few glasses of wine to help ease me through. It was totally random and unprovoked, and since then I have been very on edge and all the old syptims are coming back. The worst for me is the depersonalisation. I find myself questioning myself about whether things are real, etc. I'm sure someone can relate to this. Anyways its becoming increasingly more difficult to control and it seems like the mental strength I've built over the past year is no longer enough. I'm really worried because I remember how incapacitating all this was to begin with and I really can't afford to go through it again. Is it normal to have random relapses for no reason? Does anyone have any tips to help me get through?

1 like, 8 replies

8 Replies

  • david60485
    david60485 danny07958

    Posted

    Hello Danny, I have had many years of anxiety. We live in a world which is very fast moving which dos`nt help. I used to be on citalopram but now I am on sertraline but I`ve had quite a few over the years. For me it is the best drug yet for me although is`nt a miricle cure by any means. The feelings of isolation and detachment are quite normal. I just want to say I have had severe panic attacks and believe me I would rather be whipped than have to go through my first one which was being in a dark pit of fear. Does your doctor allow you tranquilisers ? , mine does but they are regulated and he knows I only take them on bad days. I have an understanding doctor which is also a good thing. For me these days I don`t really like going out as much , I find the world hard work most of the time tbh. I can`t wave a magic wand but what I can say is you are not alone even though it feels like that and if you having a bad period of anxiety it is a living hell believe I know. I found this site by accident but signed up and if I can be a support for others then that is good for me. Someone who has been through the same things is surely the best to relate to you and others. Keep in touch about your anxiety and if I can only be some sort of a crutch to lean on then good :-)

    David.

    • lovelyloz2008
      lovelyloz2008 david60485

      Posted

      Hi David I hope you don't mind me contacting you! You seem like you have a good background knowledge I have no idea why mine has come back with severe attacks I initially thought I had suffered an allergic reaction whilst out at a restaurant but when I've had similar symptoms since I've now realised it was a really bad attack I have been given beta blockers to try and slow everything down I somehow had no associated my anxiety with food which annoys me so much and I am currently waiting for cognitive behavioural therapy which was like a miracle cure the first time and I'm really hoping that it works again but I'm going away next week and I'm truly petrified as I'll be in a foreign country and really don't want to go I keep bursting into tears thinking about it as it's truly freaking me out the main part of he panic I don't like is the tightness in my throat so if you could give me any advice as to how you might deal with this of you get this symptom I would be forever in your debt

  • SacredHeart
    SacredHeart danny07958

    Posted

    Hi Danny,

    My sense from what you've described is that you may have mentally tested and provoked feelings of anxiety without of course wishing to do so.  I have found this in the past when I have checked my defenses to see if I am better.  I think negative thought patterns get reconnected to anxiety and panic triggers and, if not managed, can start to snowball.  However, not wishing to alarm you of course as this is just my unqualified theory.  I would continue to keep your thoughts away from anything that might provoke anxiety (you have enough to deal with on the depression side I am sure), so in other words don't go analysing your thoughts and feelings pertaining to anxiety too much.  Stay focussed on positive thoughts and just day-to-day mundane thoughts.  I find this helps and you can later think back and be grateful you took control of your thoughts at that time.

    Just my my take, which I hope helps.

    • simon6685
      simon6685 SacredHeart

      Posted

      Hi sacred heart. I was just reading the above and you said about basically poking at the anxiety, like testing the water as to what level it is. Tonight I meet up with a few of my family members and I was ok at first but iv not seen a few of the family in a while so was already abit anxious but once I got there that didn’t get any better and felt very tense, also there was a lot of people around us so now I was on high alert but wanted to stick it out and did (it was only for like 20 mins) but then as we was about to go our separate ways my mum wanted me to go for a coffee with them and all my anxiety came back in one hit and I said no and my mum and sister made it a big deal and put loads of pressure on me even though I was already freaking out, so my legs went stiff, my mouth went dry, heart started racing and just wanted to get away as fast as possible but my legs were stiff so had to walk away embarrassed like I’d relieved myself. So I raced home on my bike and I just broke down and started crying and felt a complete failure and was in a bad state I thought maybe I should end my life cos this is never going away and I can’t live like this, I told my best mate and she calmed me down. Everything iv tought myself went strait out the window and Iv not felt that way for like 6 years ago when I lost everything and anxiety finally got its way and pulled me down into an alcoholic state to treat it. Iv now been dry 6 months and not looking back but what the hell happened to me, now I’m  terrified it’s all been a waste and Iv already been through hell and back and for what justvti do it all again. I’m on 150mg of  sertroline and always been anxious but I really fell apart just over 6 years ago and I really did loose it all, house, partner, kid,job,cars. This had started 2 years prior to that when I had a really bad anxiety scare and it destroyed me with fear. So I was wondering what you think happened tonight cos I can’t get it out my head and Iv certainly never actually really felt  like ending my life, I actually felt calm when I started thinking how and when to do it. What could have coursed me to break that bad. Thank you hope you can reply.
  • marguerite88185
    marguerite88185 danny07958

    Posted

    Hi Danny !!! I’ve been dealing with this all my life!!! I try to fight it !!!! I do get help with a very low dose of Xanax.  I tried lexaoro but it had very bad adverse reactions on me!!! Two weeks ago it came back in full force!!!! I hate the feelings I get  I know it’s uncomfortable and horrible but we will get through it . I believe subconscious thoughts and stress  just get to a point and then pow out comes the anxiety . Also I read up on serritinon !! People who have this condition are low in that!!! So I’m trying to eat foods that have  l tryptophan in it which turns to seratonin !!!! It’s a rough road but  I won’t go on antidepressants !!! I rather do this with vitamins such as magnesium and potassium and fish oil!!!  !! Stay away from the bs it makes it worse !!!   THIS  TOO SHALL  PASS !! Stay well !!
    • lola21468
      lola21468 marguerite88185

      Posted

      I have also been having panic attacks and have been on Paxil for almost 10 years. I have noticed that it helped me alot through the years but not I noticed that my memory has gotten very bad and I'm wondering if it has to do with taking the Paxil so long. I have tried to go off several times but the panic attacks would come back full on so I would end up going back on Paxil. I just recently started tapering off and only taking half of 20mg now.I just now have also been taking tons of vitamins and supplements and it seems to be helping alot.

  • ashleelhsa
    ashleelhsa danny07958

    Posted

    Hi Danny I have read your post & the thread of responses below & have found this very informative as well as relevant to me. While the reason for anxiety might be different, mine was triggered a few years ago, & manages to creep back into my life unannounced without any noticeable trigger! I find that I am in a continuous battle to find new ways to overcome my anxiety and once I feel I have made progress, i suffer a relapse for no apparent reason that leaves me feeling I haven't made any progress at all.  After much deliberation I eventually tried anti-anxiety SSRI medication and has been life changing for me.  None the less, I still suffer debilitating anxiety regularly (just not every day). Whilst I can have some good days now, it still interferes dramatically with my life and when it comes on, it is ever so destructive & disheartening & I feel myself spiralling out of control. The bad days are just as bad as the first time I experienced it, which brings all the terribly memories back of how it made me feel.  I am currently speaking with my psychologist & I'm trying to find out why it keeps returning, why it is so powerful & how I can challenge the anxiety with thoughts (to try help reverse the patterns). Some positives are that, as intense as it can be, it can disappear in seconds, given the right circumstances.  But it can also be so powerful it leaves me debilitated & bed ridden for months... If you make any progess on your relapses, I would love to know if anything helped & how you are going in general! Feel free to ask anything / share experiences if you like.  Regards smile

  • melissa_98501
    melissa_98501 danny07958

    Posted

    I also suffer from anxiety. Have had it since I was a kid. About 2.5 years ago I was out on effexor and after a few weeks it changed my life. Anxiety went away and I was a la to live again. Once a while I would have a small attack but was able to make it go away quickly. The last couple months my anxiety has come back and I'm terrified. Afraid to be around people and in public. Just wanna hide in the bed. Help!

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