Anxiety/Depression/Citalopram- CBT Done - what next ??

Posted , 2 users are following.

OK so ive posted a few times, I suffer with depression and anxiety/ panic attacks , which come out the blue generally but some days i feel like i kinda just know im gonna have one ! as feel edgy all day then bam ! No particular triggers , often if works busy , it happens and yesterday shopping. As for the depression , ive always suffered years ago was on Venlafaxine then came off when ttc. Manged for 9-10 yrs without meds. Before xmas went to gp who originally gave breathing excercises , then went back as no luck and got given Sertraline 50mg. That didnt really work , and lacked sleep so much so they added Mirtazipine but gained alot of weigh in a short space of time , so they then stopped the Mirtazipine and doubled the Sertraline - as you can imagine the side effects i was suffering waqsnt good and got signed off work for 6 weeks , the 100mg of Sertaline still no good so he put me on Venlafaxine , started 75mg then 150 then 225 , 4 weeks into 225mg i started bruising very badly so had to stop them as its int he very rare side effects . So 3 approx weeks ago he put me on 20mgCitalorpram then 40mg 4 days later. which im still on , Im between all this i have had CBT Panic workshop which to be honest hasnt overly helped but then again i was doing it over the period i was changing meds, 

I get down at things that have happed in the past , things not even my family know about , domestic violence and being forced to 'do things ' i disdnt want to do with my 1st proper partner ( if u can call hin that ) then my childs dad was also a bit ' handy' which we finally split because of it 8yrs ago - my family only knew about the final time not any of the others he did it , or my partner before . I was then in a happy relationship for 7 yrs and that ended in feb this yr , ive tried to be strong about it but i still cant belive its happened. 

Last yr i had an op , which was meant to be day surgery , 3 days in hospital as was more complicated than thought ,  , 4 weeks off work - made myself ill by going bk too soon so had another 3 weeks off ( and the op has not improved anythign )  , i then had to move house whilst poorly and couldnt help much  ( which i love my new pad  just un needed at the time ) 

On top of all that , my child has behavioral issues and i just feel do drained from life . I work p/t as on my own so cant do much more , work are good as had alot of time off but  i knwo ppl talk about me , i can just imagine it ' oh shes off again ' ;what for now '  ( not many know the real reason ) 

Just realised im babbling but i have no one to talk to , just wanted to know the next step after cbt - i have a telephone apt with a phyc pratitioner this week just dont knwo what to expect ( and one of my triggers is talking in the phone :? ) 

0 likes, 4 replies

4 Replies

  • Posted

    Sarah,

    I feel your pain and offer my compassion, life with a mental illness is brutal at times, we never know if we are rid of it and when it comes back we never know if it will go again. We take medication but even that is not straightforward, we may share labels but not one of us is truely the same. Depression and anxiety go hand in hand and a whole host of other illnesses share symptoms so which medication is for us and how much. Most of all in our broken state can we handle the side effects, ours is a cruel place.

    But there is a bright side and each and everyone of us carries the spark. In each of us is a desire to be strong, a desire to live again and truth be told we can. It starts with acceptance, stand tall and don't fear your illness. Find likeminded people like us who will listen to you even if it is just a rant to get it off your chest. Study self help to grow yourself and help others to give yourself a sense of respect. It's a long journey but we are all on it. Together we share sorrow and support, tomorrow is tomorrow, today is ours. I'm sorry if this makes no sense but it is my help for you

    Have strength, please keep in touch

    David

    • Posted

      Thank you for that bit of inspiration. Definetly need a rant occasionally, I have a few ppl who know im on meds but thats it and they dont know to the extent in which i suffer , Not even my manager does,.. I feel i need to open up to someone in person i.e a friend i just cant as ive always come across as being a strong person until recent months , So all pretty pants,.. Right now i feel like i just want to hide away from everythign and just sleep the days away , im so tired and drained yet cant switch off which i know id very common. I dont think it helps when others dont really understand mental illness , the whole thing of ' invisible illness ' is hard for ppl to undertand .
    • Posted

      Sarah,

      i understand and you are so right about how hard it is to discuss the invisible illness, have you looked for a support group? I don't know where abouts you are but charities like Mind have support groups throughout the UK and it may help to attend so that you can meet fellow suffers and no longer have to put a front on who you are. You are a wonderful person and while you may not feel it right now you have strength to journey on, we all get tired. We all hide at times and we all get paranoid but that is where groups like this can help. Every day I read people's stories and am inspired by their courage to speak out, to seek help and those that reply with words of passion. One day we will be able to speak like this in the open but for now we help each other and stay strong. Today you will smile, smile because you know someone, somewhere understands you and hold your head high. Please keep in touch, you have my compassion and support

      David

    • Posted

      Thank you again , I will look on Mind website tonight and see if i can find anything for around here... Today I have felt so unbelivably drained to the point i was on hold on the phone and i dozed off !! Need to try and tell thr GP how bad things feel but i know when it comes to it ill back out - need to force myself not to !! IM also back to work tomorrow in a way i dread it and on the other hand I look forward to seeing certain coleauges.  Hope youre well today . 

Report or request deletion

Thanks for your help!

We want the community to be a useful resource for our users but it is important to remember that the community are not moderated or reviewed by doctors and so you should not rely on opinions or advice given by other users in respect of any healthcare matters. Always speak to your doctor before acting and in cases of emergency seek appropriate medical assistance immediately. Use of the community is subject to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and steps will be taken to remove posts identified as being in breach of those terms.