Anxiety , depression & confusion !

I have been suffering anxiety from past on month and I always feel that I'll die very soon , I have symptoms which leads to health anxiety , every single pain I get I start googling it I feel so depressed after reading all the symptoms and convinced easily that I surely have that illness.

Sometimes when I don't have any physical symptoms I feel like there's some silent serious illness growing inside me and suddenly I'll die .

But if I have symptoms they are like chest pain and tightness , pain in left side of chest and upper left side of back sometimes right under the under arm , full body pain , lump in throat and feels something stuck in my chest , neck pain , nausea and head aches .

I don't know what to do I feel so negative about everything I feel I can't stay happy or get happiness , I rethink everything I say or do , I doubt every action I do , sometimes I'm so confused what I want ? I want to live or no , I can't stop death its not in ky control this makes me hopeless smd help less .

Even though there's a time I don't think anything still I have weird feeling in my heart I don't feel like talking to any of my friends or doing any activity that I loved doing I'm afraid of everything , next month I'm going on a vacation and I doubt that I'll be able to or no , I see things and question like am I really going to be able to use this thing or no , I don't know what to do .

I also suffer from anticipatory anxiety I always feel there's something bad or disastrous going to happen .

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