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Anxiety/depression in 72 year old

Posted , 5 users are following.

Cheetah
Cheetah

My husband has suffered from anxiety/depression for many years.  He takes Mirtazapine every night.  His anxiety stops him from travelling to visit our sons and grandchildren, who live 200 miles away, and I know he feels very guilty about this.  He had a breakdown a few years ago and CBT didn't seem to help him, although I feel the nurse who did it wasn't particuarly good and was keen to discharge him quickly, against his wishes.  The last time he saw a psychiatrist he was told to 'look on the bright side of life'!  Is there any way my sons and I can help him?

0 likes, 7 replies

7 Replies

  • Dkw41127
    Dkw41127 Cheetah

    Posted

    Yeppers !, I was on road traveling doing trade shows for 30 years, wife didnt understand my reluctance to drive for vacations and to visit her 33 sisters and 29 brothers each month, but now that she has been driving 100-200 miles a day for wrok I have noticed a slight reduction in getting her in the car just to drive 3 miles to go shopping! she wont go ! I cannot figure out why she is against riding around any more
  • dean725
    dean725 Cheetah

    Posted

    physciatrist has a point to be honest,i suffer too so am speaking from experience.My opinion is tablets do very little for your hubbys type of anxiety,so try and grasp the bull by the horns,Start by small journeys,as often as possible,try to get him to keep busy,hobbies,work, anything to be honest.I've battled through a type of social anxiety which used to effect me to the point of throwing up,it was awfull.However,i refused to let it completely destroy my life,so even tho i felt shocking i still went out,over time things have got better but its took years.I went from being the life and soul type person to not wanting to do anything and it happened in an instant,one panic attack out of the blue made a right mess of me.I honestly thought i was the only one in the world who suffered because i got no relief thru tablets,the internet and forums like this now show me there are thousands of others in the same boat.Try to get him to be positive,it really is the only way forward,in my opinion,my personal experience makes me think councillers are pinching a living because for me they have been completely useless.
    • Cheetah
      Cheetah dean725

      Posted

      Thank you for your reply, Dean.  I hope that things get better for you in the future.
  • anne240
    anne240 Cheetah

    Posted

    Hello I am 74 years of age and have had depression for over 20 years, although it is not so bad these days, but I have been as low as you can get. 

    Well IU cannot believe a psychiatrest would say look on the bright side.  What a strange thing to say to someone with depression.  You do not say whether your husband is on anti depressants.  I have been on many diufferent anti depressants over the years.  The last one I was on, stopped my anxiety and depression, and on the whole I did well on it.  I stopped it last year as my doctor wanted to see if I could do without.

    f your husband finds an anti depressant that suits him, then perhaps he will be able to visit again.   If not, then you will have to accept that he just cannot socialise.  Yoiu must be there for him and tell him you understand.  He needs you so much.  You and your family are supportive, which is so good for him.

    • Cheetah
      Cheetah anne240

      Posted

      Thank you, Anne.  Yes, he's been on Mirtazapine for about 10 years now and the best thing is they certainly help him to sleep at night.  However, they haven't helped his problem with socialisation.  If I'm honest, though, he has never been a great socialiser, even when younger, and I believe this is part of his personality.  Thank you for your wise words.  I have made sure that our sons understand the situation and, thankfully, they are happy to visit us, even though it can be difficult with small children.   I hope that things continue to be good for you.  Take care.
    • anne240
      anne240 Cheetah

      Posted

      Sorry my last message all mixed up.  Well it is good thst your husband can sleep as my biggest problem is not sleeping very well, but I will only take herbal pills, and even they make me feel hungover, as the ones for sleep are strong.  I do take Kalms in the day and other supplements.

      I stopped anti depressant last year after 20 years and it is 17 months and longest I have gone without depression returning.

      I am glad you and your sons are so supportive.  I do have supportive children too, and it means a lot.  My daughter has been an absolute rock, so much so, that she is now training to be a counsellor to help others like her mum.  It is very difficult to socialise, and I have been like that in the past.  But now I hate being alone at home, and get anxious, so I try to get out as much as I can.  Think that is why I am so low in the winter now.

      You sound a lovely lady, and your husband is lucky to have you.  Take care, as not easy for you, and I do hope you get support too, and that you look after yourself.

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