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I was diagnosed with Chronic Anxiety around 18 months ago, and I had a bad few months before having several Psychotherapy sessions. They helped a little, but not a great deal. I had several nights/days where life didn't quite feel real,and although I didn't have directly suicidle thoughts - I did think "Oh, I couldn't live with this feeling constantly.". Luckily, this feeling didn't last long - I usuually got it aft panic attacks, so both myself and my Doctor put it down to energy resources being used up.
From around March until December - I was getting better, and better. I had little to no panic attacks, but was still in at a point where I had to know I wouldn't have a panic attack whilst out, before actually going out. But, that was 100% better than when I first started, where I'd not even try.
I started Univeristy in September 2014, and I've had several panic attacks since, during lectures, and a couple of times at home about Univeristy. But - nothing I couldn't overcome. We broke up for Christmas, I was fine and normal.
However, since January 2015 - I've started to feel a little different. I've had a lot of stress at home due to several things, and had some stress at University which has lead to me taking a year out. But since January, I've been feeling constantly tired, my joints have ached and most recentley my fingers/hands have been tingling a lot. It feels almost like you've been out in the cold too long, and they're a bit stiff.
Another symptom to add is I had constant abdominal pain last night, until I finally fell asleep and woke up feeling okay. I don't know what that was at all.
I went away last week, on the first and second day - I felt better than ever. I thought being away from technology, and the stress of home was doing me the world of good. However, on the second night - I was up for hours where I felt worried, and for the first time since the begining of my anxiety -low and not sucidal, but thinking of suciide as a concept. At this point, I started to feel like I was almost in a dream. The best way to describe this is how you feel when you wake up groggy, and you're not sure what day it is - like that, but rather constant.
I'm seeing a CBT therapist next week, which was originally for Anxiety - but these recent symptoms have started to worry me, that maybe it's not anxiety because I'm not feeling traditionally "panicy" like I used to, it's much more constant. I'm worried that the depression symptoms, the aching, and dream like state are something new - maybe something unrelated. I know aching is asociated with anxiety and depression, but I've never had it this bad before.
I think the thing that's worrying me the most is Anxiety has only tended to affect me in certain situations, like being out somewhere - in whin case, the worse case scenario is I can just walk away to avoid it. But the depression feelings, and aching, and dream like state, are with me a lot of the time. I know I'm seeing a CBT therapist next week, but I'd like to hear some other views too before I go - hense being here.
Any help would be greatly appreciated.
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