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Anxiety dip again - May have to cancel holiday!!!

Posted , 8 users are following.

raelene_44389
raelene_44389

Hi Everyone.

Having a horrible dip of anxiety/depression again.  I just wish this feeling in the body would go.  I've gone 5 months without a period and I just wonder if the last year of perimenopause is the worst.  (probably the worst time in the past 12 years)

I was feeling rather well a couple of months ago and I was really brave and agreed to go on a holiday to Bali with my very supportive and loving husband and our 17 year old son. Holiday are few and far between with us due to my unsettled health over the past years.  I agreed to go thinking surely things will start to improve soon.   We are not going for another month and I just pray that this dip is over.  If not I dont know how i'm going to cope.  The plane ride will be a nightmare for starters with the added anxiety and I don't want my son to see how much i really struggle with this.  My only option is to drug up on valium if its still hanging around.  I only use valium (4mg) on really bad days just to give me a little bit of reprieve. 

Please keep me in your prayers that I will be on the mend soon and be able to enjoy my holiday with some inner peace.

Does the last year get worse in perimenopause as the periods start to stop?  I sometimes doubt myself with all this and wonder if it's my hormones at all or could it be something else I'm missing.  When I read other posts on here I actually get reassurance that other woman are going through the same roller coaster of up and downs and it helps ease my mind.  I would love to hear from other ladies that are having dips of horrible anxiety/depression and if it's easing the closer you get to menopause.

Just feeling so lost and alone. (I've lost so much of my life)

Love to all  xxxx

1 like, 17 replies

17 Replies

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  • stephanie04277
    stephanie04277 raelene_44389

    Posted

    Hello Raeline, you are not going through these feelings alone. I am also suffering very black days and awful anxiety. I am 50 and not sure how long I have left of feeling like this. I suffer heavy, prolonged periods still at the minute. I think we are all different with how our periods behave but we are all going through the same personal torment of emotions. Keep strong, this is what I try and tell myself, don't let it stop you enjoying your holidays.one day we will come out the other side of this. Much love and hugs to you xx
    • fightingmadness
      fightingmadness stephanie04277

      Posted

       Make the most of the holidays, be in the 'NOW', think of being 'here' being 'now'.  It is time you will treasure, if you can get into it now.  Trust me.  Lots of love xxx

       

    • raelene_44389
      raelene_44389 stephanie04277

      Posted

      Hi Steph,

      It's such an unfair journey at times. How long have you been putting up with your symptoms for and do they come and go.  It's so hard when you can be travelling along okay and then "WHAM" they are back again. At the moment it's very indepth and i really don't know how i'm going to do this holiday.  Really hard to enjoy things when you feel so pyhsically and mentally unwell.  I have been plenty of times before and it does go away but you just never know when.  Thanks for your kind words of encouragement.  It means a lot to me.

      Hugs back to you.  xx

    • stephanie04277
      stephanie04277 raelene_44389

      Posted

      Hello Rae, my symptoms have been building since spring 2014, first the constant bleeding started and then the awful pains on my neck and shoulders which I constantly take painkillers for. Anxiety and low moods have been on and off really for the past 6 month or so which is hard to cope with. I try get outdoors as much as I can but I'm so tired with not sleeping. I've now started with ibs symptoms which isn't helping anxiety as I've convinced myself it's bowel cancer 😕. It's all totally draining and I feel like a hypercondriac at the minute. I have not tried hrt as I don't want to go down that route but am desperate to find something for all these awful symptoms. You are not alone honey, all we can do is keep fighting and searching for anything g that helps till we come out the other side of this. Try keep busy not easy I know. I hope you make your holiday and you enjoy it. We all deserve that. Take care hugs xx
  • helen64949
    helen64949 raelene_44389

    Posted

    Hi, I have never suffered from depression in my whole life, apart from brief spells of PND after each child, yet in peri menopause I would sometimes find myself in tears and feeling hopeless for no good reason that I could think of.  This would invariably be followed by a period and a lightening of mood.  Maybe you are about to have a period too and will feel tons better soon.
    • raelene_44389
      raelene_44389 helen64949

      Posted

      Hi Helen,

      I'm not sure what is going on with my periods. I haven't had one for about 5 months.  I'm thinking maybe this is why I'm feeling so unwell this year due to the missing periods and maybe things will settle when I've gone the full 12 months.  I'm so over trying to work it all out.  I've tried so many things over the years and just when i think something is working and I get a spring back in my stride i am hit with it again.  The past 6 months have been the worst. (gone close to 12 years now) I know I can't give up because I have a very supportive husband and 3 wonderful children.  It's only in times of these dips that life becomes so hard and negative thoughts start to creep in about living.  I'm just praying that this dip lifts quickly.  I pray you have better days ahead and you can get to the other side soon and live the good life. xxx

  • MrsMerm
    MrsMerm raelene_44389

    Posted

    Hi Rae,

                   please go on this holiday and ENJOY IT cheesygrin

    Stop focusing on the problems, there's 4 weeks to go yet

    1/   Start putting things together for yourself (find passport/get money exchanged) insurance One by one

    2/   pack your suitcase now and gradually  (wear your older clothes around house) for now

    3/  Sun tan cream?

    4/  Download air tickets via internet BOARDING CARDS or get hubby to

    5/  take a breather, remember these tasks are ongoing and you don't do them all on one day too stressful!!!

    6/  write down times of flights and organise how your getting to the airport

    7/  Research (this is the fun part= look online and see what the place is like your going to

    and there are loads more, I will keep in touch 

    speak later  HOLIDAYS ARE FUN keep positive wink

    you can do this hunny xxx        

    • GeorgiaS
      GeorgiaS MrsMerm

      Posted

      I agree! Your life hasn't stopped so don't stop it! razz
    • raelene_44389
      raelene_44389 MrsMerm

      Posted

      Thanks for your supportive words and great list.  We must be very alike because I love doing "LISTS".

      I just pray that this has lifted a bit by the time the holiday comes.  It's just so hard being in my body at the moment.  The feelings are just so intense.  When it lifts I'm as free as a butterfly. 

      I will try my hardest to keep positive and work along side these horrible symptoms.

      Thanks and a big hug to you. xxxx

    • MrsMerm
      MrsMerm raelene_44389

      Posted

      Hi again Rae,

                              have you located your PASSPORT yet?

                                  razz

                                         MM x

    • raelene_44389
      raelene_44389 MrsMerm

      Posted

      Hi MM,

      Well that is a story and a half at the moment.  We contacted Births, Deaths and Marriages 6 weeks ago to get my marriage certificate to show change of name and my husband's birth certificates.  Up until last Tuesday we still hadn't recieved them.  I rang them on the Tuesday and they said they would be at least another week or more.  We decided to make the trip to Melbourne to get them ourselves. (4 hours away)  When we got to BDM they informed us that they had already been sent. (Wasn't happy)  We decided to get new ones on the spot and head straight to the neartest post office and send all papers off straight away. So after last Wednesday we were pretty happy with ourselves knowing that everything had been sent off and we had a good month to get the passports back in time for Bali.  UNTIL yesterday afternoon the saga still continues ..............   I get a phone call from the passport office to say that my marrriage certificate was not with my application.  The woman at the post office had obviously stuffed up somewhere because everything was spot on.  This morning I had to head back into our local post office and send the certificate off once again.  It has been a bit of a nightmare. The funny thing is I don't really feel that stressed about it because I'm unwell.  If I was feeling better I would probably be racing.   I'm actually rather calm about the whole ordeal.  Sorry for the long story but as soon as I saw your message about "PASSPORTS" I had to reveal. I even had a little laugh.

      Also after 5 months I had a bleed today.  I wonder if that is why the past 3 weeks have been horrific.  Maybe I'm in for some better days. Fingers crossed.

      Hugs to you

      xsmilex

  • GeorgiaS
    GeorgiaS raelene_44389

    Posted

    Valium is far worse to come off than heroin, and a nurse told me that!

    You can use herbs such as Valerian to sleep well at night and feel more refreshed in the morning, St John's Wort to lift your moods and Damiana with it as a combination because that also lifts your moods and also gives you energy.

    The most important herb I used to get me through menopause, which I'm nearly over, has been Wild Yam.

    I'll pm you about where I get them.

    • raelene_44389
      raelene_44389 GeorgiaS

      Posted

      Thanks Georgia.

      I have tried to go as natural as I can.  I only use the valium when it becomes unbearable.  When I have these horrible dips I try to go days without any and then I have one day where I only take a very low dose just to give me a little reprieve.  I know I could take more but I'm very sensible with them and know all about the consequences.  My doctor is happy for me to do this and trusts me with them.  They have actually been my saviour over the years.  I take a Ayuvardic herbs potion  that is aimed at balancing hormones and the nervous system. I'm praying that these will kick in soon.  I don't have any control over these dips they just come and go as they please.  When the better days are with me it's like being in paradise.  I know its an anxiety disorder and I just have to try and find the best way to balance it. I'm just praying it's my hormones and when they have all settled without the spikes things will settle for me.  I've read of so many woman who have gone through it and when they are out the other side all the symptoms stop.  My sister was similiar and I'm just praying I'm like her and it will all settle.  She is 64 now and living a great life. Your support and encoragement is truly appreciated.  Hugs to you. xx

  • Fudgeybear1
    Fudgeybear1 raelene_44389

    Posted

    Hi Raelene,you are not alone,I havnt had a period for 3 months and my anxiety is through the roof,my joint hurt and my body aches most of the time.I can't take St. John's wort so I m stuck,I have to rely on taking the odd half of diazapam.I m sure you will have a lovely holiday,I do understand the doubts you are having,I have a 12 yr old daughter and I hate her seeing me when I m anxious. Please let us know how your holiday was 😎x
    • raelene_44389
      raelene_44389 Fudgeybear1

      Posted

      Hi Fudgeybear.  I think my aches up around my neck and shoulders are from the anxiety.  I know when the anxiety decreases the aches go away.  I kind of get excited when I read these replies as it makes me feel like I'm not in this on my own and it looks like it is my hormones. My sister had terrible years between 40 and 53.  She was also put on efexor around the time of her periods finishing.  Her health has been pretty good since.  I believe it was the fact that her periods stopped and her hormones stopped fluctuating which gave her more balance with her moods.  Back then which was 14 years ago nothing was said about it being hormonal at all.   She still takes the efexor as I think she believes it's been the answer for her.  I think she is scared to go back to how she was and I can totally understand that. She was exactly like me with the periods of feeling okay and then being hit with horrible anxiety.  It's the most horrid feeling.  No one can comment unless they have been through it.  Sometimes I wish some people could have it for a day or two so they know what we are feeling.  I'm with you and the diazepam.  I only take it when I really need to.  I've heard of so many horror stories that it does worry him. I've never taken it for more than 3 days in a row only at a very low dose.  Love to you and your daughter and i pray that you have some better days soon.  Thanks for your support and care.  I hope I can come back on here in a couple of weeks and say I had a wonderful time.  smile xx
    • Fudgeybear1
      Fudgeybear1 raelene_44389

      Posted

      Aw thank you Raelene,I know what you mean,it is comforting to know that it's hormones it makes all a little less scary.I m a little like your sister I ve not been right since I turned 40 i m now 46, i m hoping I'm going to be a new woman by the time I m 50 😊 I agree I think the neck and shoulder aches are to do with the anxiety,it's just such a strange feeling to be so anxious and you don't even know why you feeling so terrified.My poor husband is used to me sitting with my headphones on listening to a guided meditation video.Have you tried something like that when you re anxious?they always help me,if you go on you tube and type in The Honest Guys they do some great ones.I m sure you will be back here after your hols telling us you had a wonderful time.Love to you and your family,🍹👙☀️Xx
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