Anxiety during menopause.. How to cope?

Edited , 4 users are following.

My anxiety has been so bad this past week ive been through the ringer.. stepped on a rusty nail don't take medicine especially antibiotics I'm very sensitive and allergic to many, so I had to get a tetanus shot and had to start antibiotics and I just feel like fainting, its all so overwhelming., the antibiotics in taking little bits of it at a time and for longer period .. the shot was all at once .. everyday I thought the worst my legs feel cramp y in the calves and feet and the feelings are very real weather its part of the rusty nail or side effects to medicines and vaccination or just anxiety its all real and leaving me nervous scared alone breathless and crying and its just awful also my mother had to be hospitalised and receive 3 blood transfusions her blood count is very low and suspect internal bleeding somewhere.. she is having a procedure done this morning where shes put to sleep., im so worried and can't even be there because of the covid not even sure my anxiety would allow me there anyway.. I'm so overwhelmed with anxiety right now and all week long and its not easing up, mornings seem much worse..any ladies out there with high anxiety and what do you do to cope, and how do you handle it when you live alone and no one there with you.. it is such a scary time anyways with the menopause and all the scary symptoms but then when you are hit with all the extras it all just seems too much.. I was doing well for the most part , but can't seem to pull up and out and be strong I feel super weak and exhausted scared and alone.. sorry for such a depressing post but it is right now.. anyone have any tips and any personal overwhelming anxiety they are going through right now that has gotten worse with your menopause..

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  • Edited

    hi Gypsy - First off, i am so sorry for your suffering - i am also someone who knows first hand what it is like to care and worry about a loved one, you feel anxious, helpless & out of control. i really cant imagine what it must feel like having to deal with that on top of this Covid 19 situation. Not being able to be with a loved one in time of need is so distressing in of itself, & then to have your own anxiety/health issues.

    i have battled with anxiety, so i understand. Here are some things that help me - When i am in the "throes" of an attack, i reach for ice cubes, and hold them in my hands. i think the cold sends signals to your brain to focus on the cold, & to stop pumping adrenaline/cortisol into your body. After all, when you think of it, thats all an anxiety attack is...a chemical being pumped into your body...you will not die from it, when you take away the power of the attack & just think of it for what it is, it becomes less scary. The other thing i do is 4-4-4 breathing. Inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds, exhale for 4 seconds, do that about 4 times & you will see your breath calms your body. i also carry lavender oil & rescue remedy everyhere i go - lavender oil is calming & so is rescue remedy. i take many Epsom salt/lavender baths & when i cant take a bath i do a foot soak with it & rub lavender on the bottom of my feet after - Magnesium glycinate 400ml helps with our nerves, you should take one each day - i hope you find calm, peace & prayers for your Mom -

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    • Posted

      thank you debra all very good tips I will try both , I am also going to try and maybe do some meditation type exercises.. this is a scary lonely time not good at all.

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      debra I forgot to say i heard about the lavender being a good anxiety reducer so I just got some, my only problem is some scents will trigger my migraines so I'm hoping not and wishing for the best, thank you again for taking the time to share your coping tips with me.. ❤

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  • Edited

    Hi Gypsy,

    I am reluctant to post this, but I lost my Mom 10 days ago. She suddenly went jaundice and was hospitalized with a bile duct obstruction. I couldn't be with her during those 14 days she was hospitalized and it broke my heart. She was released and the procedure was a success. She was doing great for a week and then a switch flipped and she stopped eating/drinking. Things spiralled from there and two weeks later she was gone.

    I don't even know what happened. I can't even wrap my head around the sequence of events. I am so lost. She was my best friend and my favorite person in the world. I spent every day with her and have been taking care of her 24/7 since her colon cancer diagnosis 5 years ago.

    I am all alone now. I have one brother, but he is married and lives in another state. My anxiety has been off the charts. My go-to person whenever I was anxious was my Mom. She was my safety net, my security blanket. Now, I live alone and the quiet is overwhelming.

    Imagine losing your Mom and not even receiving a single hug. I have no one. My grief is paralyzing. I am sad and lonely.

    I just wanted you to know, you aren't alone and I know EXACTLY how you feel. xo

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    • Edited

      oh my gosh staci I am crying hard right now I don't even know what to say except I am so sorry. .. so sudden and I feel your pain I'm just sick with anxiety right now and everything you just said I'm living that , the quiet nobody to talk to my mom is who I talk to every single day and keeps me going.. my mom. is jaundice also they can't figure things out I just know its bad and I'm not coping well.. I wish I could give you a huge hug and cry with you, I'm hugging you from my chair now as I write this.. if you want to talk I am here please message me anytime ❤

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      Thank you, friend. My advice to you, when your mom is released from the hospital, spend every minute with her. Hold her and tell her everything in your heart. I cannot tell you how quickly things can go wrong.

      If your mom stops eating/drinking, recognise that the process is starting. Don't be in denial and waste time like I did trying to "fix" the problem. There are two phases to the process. I didn't know any of this. Also, they can become very agitated and sensitive to pain. It is NOTHING like you see on TV.

      Start talking about hospice sooner rather than later. I waited too long. They are angels on Earth and you need them...trust me.

      I want you to have many more beautiful years with your mom. I just don't want anyone to make the mistakes I did. I should have told her I loved her instead of teying to force her to drink. I should have held her instead of becoming frustrated she wouldn't eat.

      You will never get this time back. Use whatever time you have wisely. Fill every minute with love. You have a lifetime to be sad, don't be sad while you still have her.

      I am here for you. xo

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  • Edited

    dear Gypsy & Staci - Staci, your post brought me to my knees with emotion. i too was my parents sole caregiver for almost 11 years. My Mother passed 6 years ago & my father 3 1/2 years ago, there isnt a day that goes by that i dont think of them & long to be with them again. Nothing prepares us for this tremendous loss, i often say that i know why my menopause symptoms hit me so hard was because i struggled so hard to take care of their needs that after the caregiving stopped, i crashed and burned - every system in my body was depleted.

    Staci, i know exactly what you mean by wishing you would have spent more time loving & hugging your Mom instead of trying to "fix" her & make her want to eat & drink. Unfortunately, our culture doesnt really prepare us for the death process, we choose not to deal with it because it is too painful. I often have similar regrets about raising my children, I wish i would have focused more on "having fun" than "towing the line" - its precious time we can never get back - I always remember a nurse saying to me, look at your Mothers passing as a birthing into eternal life & when she said that to me, i re-framed my thoughts on my Mother's passing - it was a gift given to me -

    Reading your posts made me relive the grief & loss that hits you like a lightening bolt, you will never truly forget the sadness & the pain, and your life will be forever changed, but somehow you will manage to cope and put your broken heart back together again, i promise you that - Wishing you both peace during this time -

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      Thank you Debra your words were beautiful.. I will cherish them forever and always go back and read them.. what beautiful words that nurse chose to say to you in your darkest hour. they truly were a gift , and now a gift passed foward to us .. I will always remember those words for if and when I ever need them..love and peace to both of you ❤

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    Thank you Gypsy - I hope you find peace throughout this journey & can come to terms with your anxiety - what you are going thru is extraordinary times that nobody is prepared to endure - try & find comfort & peace in knowing you are not alone, many of us go thru this process & make it out the other side - its a struggle, its tough, & its not easy, but its life Stay strong my friend -

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