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I had a traumatic experience during my childhood and it seems I have maybe learnt maladaptive ways of coping and reacting to events from this period in my life. I seem to go through waves of being introverted and extroverted, maybe for 6 months I go out a lot, drink, make friends easily, feel confident in myself and then when I am in a relationship my anxiety peaks, I put on weight, self esteem hits rock bottom and I start doubting myself. I am now in a relationship with somebody who treats me very well and am considering moving to Vietnam from London with him after having a great 3 months travelling together but for the past 10 months my anxiety has got worse. Its getting to the point where I feel like throwing up in the morning, appetite is erratic, I constantly think he is going to leave me, crying randomly, I can't trust him and think he may be having a better time with other people elsewhere. This is ruining my life and I feel like I am going through each day with no sense of self or direction. The anxiety has stopped me going out and even just a simple bbq to meet his friends sends me into panic attacks and lack of sleep. I have been on various medications and nothing has helped. My last resort is seeing a counsellor which I just started last week. She mentioned that I may have borderline personality disorder, be codependent and have very high anxiety.
Just wondering if anyone else has been through something traumatic in their childhood and has developed some form of disorder/anxiety becuase of this? How have you moved on? Have you had a string on broken relationships?
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