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Anxiety for a year - nausea, avoidance and a possible cure! And

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becciJG
becciJG

I hope that this can help someone in a similar situation.

I am a 22 year old and have just qualified as a paediatric nurse- surprisingly, after several panic attacks and time off sick! I'm from Sussex but studied in London.

It all started in January, I started a placement on an intensive care ward, which I found very overwhelming and I felt trapped as I was unable to leave my patients side. This is when I experienced heart palpitations, dizziness, hot sweats, nausea, and projectile vomiting ( I ended up in a&e as I tore my oesophagus and vomited blood).

This then repeated itself for the next 5 shifts- I lasted a maximum of 40 minutes before I has to leave and go home after vomiting! I then felt nauseous everytime I thought about going to the hospital and then even thinking about going back to London was causing severe anxiety!

Anyway, after feeling hideous for 15 days and quoting the placement after 5 shifts, I was put onto propranolol 160mg a day! It took a while to work, but it helped SO MUCH. I then had 7months without a full on panic attack!

I then had 4 panic attacks in August but continued working through and taking every day as a new day, the attacks were milder- I didn't actually vomit, and they resolved very quickly!

Since January I have thought constantly about how I'm feeling inside, worrying about having another panic attack, avoiding social situations, avoiding getting a job, as being on the ward and especially night shifts just trigger me to have panic attacks.

MY CURE: (a working progress)

It dawned on me whilst I was reading an amazing book.

You spend every day consumed in your own feelings, questioning every sensation in your body, worrying about having a panic attacks, whether today is the day that the viscous cycle takes over yet again, searching for a cure, asking yourself 'why me?', thinking that no one understands and wondering whether it will ever end.

THATS THE PROBLEM!!! Just stop worrying about something that hasn't even happened! The only cure is to accept that you have anxiety and when you start having the sensations of a panic attack don't run away from them- even if you end up vomiting in the street, just do it and you'll soon realise that, it's not a big deal! So what! It's embarrassing, yes. It feels absolutely terrible, yes. But the more you just accept your anxiety the sooner the fear of having a panic attack with subside as you'll no longer see them as this absolutely awful thing!

I now feel great, yes I have good and bad days, but I feel so much better within myself! I'm challenging my behaviours that I have as a result of anxiety, such as attending social events even when I really don't want to, starting a part-time job and I just applied for a full time nursing job this morning !

I hope this can help someone!

Xxx

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2 likes, 5 replies

5 Replies

  • marilyn98768
    marilyn98768 becciJG

    Posted

    Hi becciJG thank you for sharing your experiences it really does help ,I know the best way to deal with anxiety is to stop thinking about it and to go ahead and live your life with it ,I am struggling at the moment to do that ,when I am having a "good day " I think I am never going to let anxiety get the better of me again ,but if the next day I am not so good I cannot cope with it and am back to square one . I avoid going anywhere now . I am waiting for a 48hour heart monitor as my GP does not want to start me on any medication until all physical symptoms have been checked ,which I think is a good idea .hope you continue to get better and good luck with your very worthwhile profession 
    • becciJG
      becciJG marilyn98768

      Posted

      Trust me I have good and bad days as well, the best, but also the hardest thing to do is to re-start every day as a new day and forget about yesterday. It has been the only thing that has helped me get out of the cycle of panic! I wish you all the best!
  • pigletsmomma
    pigletsmomma becciJG

    Posted

    Becci,

    You are amazing! You are only 22 and have the world at your fingertips. You put that so eloquently. I am 49 and living with the same thing, but have never been able to put it in words like you did. I wish you all the best in recovery and your nursing career. I can tell you will be a great, caring and nurturing nurse for the lucky people that you help!

    • becciJG
      becciJG pigletsmomma

      Posted

      Thank you, that's really kind. I really appreciate your comment! Good luck, and I wish you all the best on your journey.
  • rhian61976
    rhian61976 becciJG

    Posted

    Hi beccijg what book was it that you read,is there any way you could private message it to me as they have taken off any links thanks xx
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