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I hope that this can help someone in a similar situation.
I am a 22 year old and have just qualified as a paediatric nurse- surprisingly, after several panic attacks and time off sick! I'm from Sussex but studied in London.
It all started in January, I started a placement on an intensive care ward, which I found very overwhelming and I felt trapped as I was unable to leave my patients side. This is when I experienced heart palpitations, dizziness, hot sweats, nausea, and projectile vomiting ( I ended up in a&e as I tore my oesophagus and vomited blood).
This then repeated itself for the next 5 shifts- I lasted a maximum of 40 minutes before I has to leave and go home after vomiting! I then felt nauseous everytime I thought about going to the hospital and then even thinking about going back to London was causing severe anxiety!
Anyway, after feeling hideous for 15 days and quoting the placement after 5 shifts, I was put onto propranolol 160mg a day! It took a while to work, but it helped SO MUCH. I then had 7months without a full on panic attack!
I then had 4 panic attacks in August but continued working through and taking every day as a new day, the attacks were milder- I didn't actually vomit, and they resolved very quickly!
Since January I have thought constantly about how I'm feeling inside, worrying about having another panic attack, avoiding social situations, avoiding getting a job, as being on the ward and especially night shifts just trigger me to have panic attacks.
MY CURE: (a working progress)
It dawned on me whilst I was reading an amazing book.
You spend every day consumed in your own feelings, questioning every sensation in your body, worrying about having a panic attacks, whether today is the day that the viscous cycle takes over yet again, searching for a cure, asking yourself 'why me?', thinking that no one understands and wondering whether it will ever end.
THATS THE PROBLEM!!! Just stop worrying about something that hasn't even happened! The only cure is to accept that you have anxiety and when you start having the sensations of a panic attack don't run away from them- even if you end up vomiting in the street, just do it and you'll soon realise that, it's not a big deal! So what! It's embarrassing, yes. It feels absolutely terrible, yes. But the more you just accept your anxiety the sooner the fear of having a panic attack with subside as you'll no longer see them as this absolutely awful thing!
I now feel great, yes I have good and bad days, but I feel so much better within myself! I'm challenging my behaviours that I have as a result of anxiety, such as attending social events even when I really don't want to, starting a part-time job and I just applied for a full time nursing job this morning !
I hope this can help someone!
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