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Anxiety for the last month due to pressure. Will it last forever?

Posted , 6 users are following.

m04810
m04810

Hello everyone. I am new here and any help would be useful. For the last month i have experienced anxiety. I have always worried about things like having lots of work, having to do everything on time but what i am experiencing now is so much different. I feel like having something on my chest, i feel anxious, i only sleep every two nights, at time i feel nauseous and generally i do not find pleasure in things i used to do. What has caused this is that i am with a guy for two years which is quite pushy. We wants as to move in together, to meet my parents and generally is a pushy person. Initially i had herpes every month, i also had acne for the first time in my life and now i have this awful feeling of anxiety. Will it ever go? I started an online CBT program but honestly i am so pessimistic and i so not think i will ever be my old self again. I was always a happy person and going to sleep was so easy. Now my life has turned upside down. Any advice or help will be appreciated. Its nice not to feel alone.

0 likes, 43 replies

43 Replies

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  • Twpy73622
    Twpy73622 m04810

    Posted

    Hi

    Dont feel like your alone. There are lots of us on this forum that welcome you.  I've had some councelling which helped to a certain extend, but now my doctor has put me on a mild anti depressent which ive been on for about 5 months. I was reluctant to do this as I dont even like taking a paracetomol but i'm so glad I did. I'm much more relaxed and calm now. Go to your GP and just tell him how your feeling. Chin up, be strong. x If you want to ask my anything, dont hesitate

    • sergio53100
      sergio53100 Twpy73622

      Posted

      You said you are on a mild medication what kind of medicine are you on because i dont like takeing pills but my anixty is crazy rite now thinks
    • cheye72347
      cheye72347 sergio53100

      Posted

      Though I agree with Twpy, I think that it's best to try nateral remedies firstand if those fail try meds if your doctorthinks it's a good idea, medication isn't for everyone and make sure you no ook into the side effects of any medication you consider. Try drinking Chamomile tea, meditation, listening to music,

      And though it didn't work for me it'san possible that exercise could help as well. And as for the guy I think you need to let him know what his pressuring is doing to you and tell him to ease up on you,

  • jen123456
    jen123456 m04810

    Posted

    same here.....ditto.....i think if i could learn to SLEEP deeply again it would be soooo different and would help soooo much....any ideas out there for a good night sleep? i've tried all the otc sleeping stuff....nothing works....i've also done meditation, deep breathing, etc.......nothing helps......then because i can't sleep i think my anxiety is worse....anything ideas out there? and yes, it's nice not to feel alone here but honestly, i want to figure this thing out....and make it go away!

     

    • cheye72347
      cheye72347 jen123456

      Posted

      One tip that I've found helpful is drinking chamomile tea before bed, also try taking a melatonin 30 mins before bed, try to exercise throughout the day and no matter how tired you are don't take a nap past noon, the tireder you are when you go to bed the better, even if it doesn't feel that way.

      Try meditation and listening to music, also dimm mi ng the lights in your house throughout the day as it gets later helps

  • elizabeth2244
    elizabeth2244 m04810

    Posted

    Welcome to the forum m04810 you are not alone with anxieties. I have a lot of anxieties myself and even everday stress make my anxieties jump, there are times i can't fall asleep because i am so hyped up with my anxieties. I have to take at least two baths at night to calm my body to help me sleep at times. 

    With your boyfriend if you are not ready to move in with him let him know don't let him push you around because thats not being a good boyfriend. If you really love this guy and he loves you he should not be pushing you into anything you don't want to do. Just be careful with him. As for getting things done on time slow down take your time you don't have to finish everything on time 

    What you need to do is slow yourself down relax take some time for yourself to calm your anxieties down. Also talk to your doctor to see if you can be put on anything to help with your anxieties 

    Good luck and keep in touch 

    Elizabeth

     

  • lisalisa67
    lisalisa67 m04810

    Posted

    You need to start listening to your gut feelings. Seriously listen to your gut here. Anxiety can be situational too and if you feel dominated and unhappy do not move in with anyone. The fact you repeat he is pushy is a scream that you feel very pressured and your fighting your own gut feeling.
    • m04810
      m04810 lisalisa67

      Posted

      I think what you describe is exactly what i am experiencing. 
    • lisalisa67
      lisalisa67 m04810

      Posted

      Please listen to your gut. You do not want to make a terrible decision that will leave in some constant state of misery and anxiousness. It can get worse. When you are with someone who is healthy for you, you feel uplifted and wonderful and safe. Its not forced. What you are describing is conflict. best to figure this out now whilst your independent then basically trapped with a person who is provoking anxiety.there isnt a cbt course in this world that would help you if you are fighting your own gut instincts and placing yourself in a situation you do not want to be in. Forget about oanic attacks for a minute because everyone knows not to believe those symotoms BUT your gut instinct is extremly important to listen too. Not the same thing at all. 
    • m04810
      m04810 lisalisa67

      Posted

      Unfortunately what you are describing is the truth..
  • Guest
    Guest m04810

    Posted

    Hi there, are you in a particurly stressful job?
    • m04810
      m04810 Guest

      Posted

      Hello, yes i have a stressful job but i have always been doing lots of stuff together and it was never a problem. My anxiety appeared after a year of pressure in my relationship. I am 33 years old. I do admit however that i probably act like i am younger, i still live with my parents and generally i live in a ''protected'' environment. My boyfriend who i am with for a year and a half is 10 years older and this generation gap probably does create problems. I believe my anxiety is mainly due to his pushy behaviour. 
    • jen123456
      jen123456 m04810

      Posted

      i think that no matter what,,,,,we need to cut back on stress and start with BABY STEPS to figure out what is causing our anxiety....could be lots of stuff but for us please know that stress is our lifes propensity  so we need to try and avoid add'l uneccessary stress at all cost...that comes first and foremostl.....do not EVER add unneccessary  additional stress....we have enough things going on biggrin))))
    • Guest
      Guest m04810

      Posted

      because he is the main cause of your anxiety, have you thought about leaving him?
    • m04810
      m04810 Guest

      Posted

      I have but there are things i like in this person and of course there is love. Leaving is so difficult and i dont know if i am ready for this.The thought of leaving makes me sad. But i cant ignore that he is the cause for all this.. I now have a disorder forever due to all this pressure. Im confused.
    • Guest
      Guest m04810

      Posted

      have you talked to him about it?

      or a therapist?

      or a counsellor?

    • m04810
      m04810 Guest

      Posted

      Yes. I have talked to him and we have both started seeing a psychologist. I am rather pessimistic though because i know i will never be as i was before.
    • Guest
      Guest m04810

      Posted

      how long have you been having these issues for?
    • m04810
      m04810 Guest

      Posted

      The last 1 and a half month. Initially it commenced with sleeping problems then i passed a period with no appetite and then anxiety appeared. For the last year i had lip herpes every month and i developed acne (i had nothing of these in my life). It is discouraging when your mental health is affected especially if you never had such problems because you know physical problems can be corrected when it is your mind things get tough..Throughout the last months i was pressured emotionally because i was not showing signs of wanting to move on with the relationship. I dont know if the solution is to break up. This seems a burden.
    • Guest
      Guest m04810

      Posted

      How long have you guys been dating for?

      Have you considered taking a break to focus on yourself?

    • m04810
      m04810 Guest

      Posted

      We have been dating for 1 and a half years. During this period we have been doing all the things together so he is like a big part in my everyday life. I love him alot and i see in him things that i do look for in a lifetime partner. He is pushy though and the bad thing is that i didnt talk about it from the beginning. I didnt express myself because i am generally a shy person. Slowly slowly i may have stopped doing things that make me happy in order for us to do things together. And in this way i lost myself in the way..
    • m04810
      m04810 Guest

      Posted

      There are times when i say i cant have any more pressure but its so hard to let go
    • Guest
      Guest m04810

      Posted

      I really think you need to take a break from this relationship to focus on yourself.

      how would he react to that?

    • m04810
      m04810 Guest

      Posted

      The thing is how would i react to this...i dont think a break is possible. If we break up its over
    • Guest
      Guest m04810

      Posted

      how do you know for sure, though?
    • lisalisa67
      lisalisa67 m04810

      Posted

      Oh boy not a good idea love. He will always be dominant. You will only get more stressed and become weaker. Then feel obligated to be sub serviant to him through guilt and manipulation.That gap is a lot bigger then you realize. Times have changed so much. Stay within your own generation. Dont worry abt your age who cares. Life spans are like 85-95 dont force it or rush because you dont want it. It can really get way worse with anxiety. Focus on yourself. You owe him nothing! You owe yourself everything and happy,healthy life. you date to determine if you want to spend your life with someone, its only a year in a half no big deal, theres no gaurantee. You already have clearly noted you dont want his. If you have to be manipulated or forced or convinced you should be with someone the answer is no. A loud, huge no. 
    • lisalisa67
      lisalisa67 m04810

      Posted

      never stay with someone because your lonely or afraid of being lonely. Not a reason and youll ten times lonelier anyway. Dont use your age as a guide of when you have to settle down either. You got you. 
    • lisalisa67
      lisalisa67 m04810

      Posted

      It might be hard to let go and take a while to get over it, but it sounds way worse to stay to be honest. You need you. And now you also have the unfortunate bonus of working through your anxieties, but at least it will be for your own happiness and benefit. Dont you realize none if this should be hapoening nor does happen in a healthy and haooy relationship whilst dating. This is you whilst dating love. Not good.
    • m04810
      m04810 Guest

      Posted

      I dont know anything for sure.. I just want to find myself again sad
    • m04810
      m04810 lisalisa67

      Posted

      What you say sounds logical but if you love somebody its not so easy to let go. I havent been sleeping this night again and i am so confused
    • Guest
      Guest m04810

      Posted

      You just said it there, you need to find yourself.

      why wait up in this toxic relationship?

    • Guest
      Guest m04810

      Posted

      ah i get it.

      did you know eachother before the year and a half together?

    • m04810
      m04810 Guest

      Posted

      We knew each other only a little bit. We are trying therapy because we both want to make it work. We should have done it earlier prior to letting this happen to me.
    • Guest
      Guest m04810

      Posted

      fair enough. 

      is it couples therapy?

    • m04810
      m04810 Guest

      Posted

      For now she accepts us one at a time not together.
    • lisalisa67
      lisalisa67 m04810

      Posted

      Its more complicated then "love" at this point. Try and seperate any feelings of lonliness, co-dependency, desires from what are referring to as love. Being honest. Maybe write down on a piece of paper each emotiin you have good or bad and be very honest with yourself. Then place a number of 1-5 next to each listed. Again be extremly honest here. It will guide you. Do not use logic when doing this. You or your partner will attempt to manipulate the outcome if you infuse guilt or fear. You truly should be as equal as possible in all decision making and choices so having a partner in another generation  changes the playing field as does if that person is more aggresive in nature or "pushy". Clearly your partner is manipulating as well as pushy so that "love" is complicated by its true definition. good luck and please listen to your gut is the strongest advice i can offer you. If you are confused your gut, from what you have noted is telling yiu this relatiinshio is not for you. So therapy or fighting your gut or whatever manipulating factors you are trying to force into your mind to make it convincible isnt working because your getting herpes attacks and panic attacks. Keep that in mind. Do you understand that when you ignore or manipulate your gut feeling eventually you wont hear it anymore, you will stop trusting yiurself, secind guessing and doubting whats in your own best interest. Every little piece you give away love weakens your own sense of self. Love is about growing and building each other up. Its a wonderful and uplifting feeling. A sense together the world is yours. Theres little doubt but the love and mutual feelings are so string that it makes you feel safe,stronger and happy. This is not what you are describing. It will hard to let go but you need you so much more. Maybe your confused because you feel guilty or scared or are a people pleaser i dont know you, but from what you have already clearly noted this sounds more like some need then it sounds like love. Good luck 

       

    • Guest
      Guest m04810

      Posted

      I agree with lisalisa 67.

      If you need anything at all, post on here or feel free to send me a PM.

      You are not alone.

      Good luck and all the best.

       

    • m04810
      m04810 Guest

      Posted

      Thank you! I think that seeing a therapist will help me find out what a really want deep inside. I have only been for two times but seeking help is a first step. I may have neglected myself but you know now its time to see what i really want to do.Its a time of change for me alone or for me with him. I have to do what makes me calm and i think i am not far away from this. Now i know anxiety is here and its here to stay from what i have read here and its sad but i hope that maybe one day things will get better smile
    • Guest
      Guest m04810

      Posted

      it can definitely get better!

      how long have you had anxiety for?

    • m04810
      m04810 Guest

      Posted

      Its about 1 1/2 months on and off two weeks on two weeks off.
    • Guest
      Guest m04810

      Posted

      I think you can definitely get better.

      If you need anything at all, post on here or feel free to send me a PM.

      You are not alone.

      Good luck and all the best!

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