Anxiety from the start until now
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I'm new to the group so I'd like to start off with saying hello.
My anxiety didn't start until I had a seizure at the age of 12 or 13. I don't remember much as of my attack lately. I have had 1 or 2 maybe even 3 attacks over the years I am now 30. My wife and I got into a fight over something stupid as sometimes fights are over the littlest things. I had an attack brewing for about 3 weeks. I didn't realize it, I don't smoke marijuana or anything like that but, I did try it recently to help. I took her out for her birthday and it was awesome. But, when we went to her sisters house I took a hit off of her pin and that sky rocketed the anxiety to a whole new level of awareness. I started feeling like I was going to seize out. My wife thought I was being paranoid but, I knew what was going on. I after we got home I felt normal for a few days until around the 5th of September. I was having a rough day, my heart started racing and I was feeling uneasy thinking it could just be a sickness until nightfall. I stepped outside to get fresh air and when I came back in I collapsed and smacked my head off the floor and was unresponsive and unaware of everything around me. I didn't go to the hospital that night for a few reasons. I decided to stay home and see how I felt the next day. I woke up in the middle of the night around 3:30 in the morning, feeling another attack coming on, I told her we needed to go to the hospital and she agreed. After spending between 8 and 10 hours in the ER they found nothing, I had an MRI, EKG, X-Rays and fluids pumped into my body we were finally clear to leave. We picked up the kids from my mothers house and my moms husband and my mother listened to the story of what happened and offered me anxiety meds. I agreed and took 5 home with me. I woke up the next day feeling like a whole new person until nightfall again. I took another med and ate and rushed to bed. I seen a doctor today September 7th. They prescribed me 40, 50MG Tablets of anti anxiety medicine. I was amazed until I realized it was only for 10 days and my next appointment isn't for 13 days. Wondering to myself how can I make it that much longer!? I was fine all day until again today nightfall came and my body started to panic and feel like I was going to seize up, I got up and went to the bedroom explaining to my wife I was going to "relax" for a minute. Lights out I laid and let my mind drift away for about 10 minutes.. I'm still struggling with it and it's not as bad but most importantly is makes me feel like a terrible father and husband. I know I'm not my 4 year old tells me everyday "Dad, You're my best friend!" But lately it seems as though I'm letting him down as well as the rest of my family. But, I am here to say on the brighter side, I am not alone in this and I can over come this, I have over come a lot. None of us are alone in this. We were given this horrible disorder to show how tough we are. Don't give up because things look bleak or things get rough every once and a while. Even writing this I feel an anxiety attack coming on but, Just remember no one is alone in this! I will try to continue to update and let you know of my ups and downs through this!
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Sadat53 dlee9391
Edited
Hi Dlee
Sorry you are feeling this way. I am where you are at the moment. I have had anxiety/depressive disorder for 47 years and each attack is awful. My episodes usually last 2-6 weeks about twice a year and each time it happens I try and tell myself I will get over it. My trigger which sets me over the edge seems to be caffeine and this has finally been proved I think. Gave it up for two years and was completely free of anxiety even getting through the lock down okay. However, about a month ago I started drinking caffeinated drinks again and here I am back in the pit, mind racing, stomach churning, felling my head is going to burst, can't relax, etc. etc. I have tried diazepam in the past but it knocks me out and gives me horrible nightmares and sleep paralysis. If a take it in the day it turns me into a zombie, not good for working in an office. Hopefully your GP can help and maybe refer you to a mental health professional to see what further options are available to you. I am on my lunch break now - not that I have much of an appetite - and feeling relatively calm but there is definitely an undercurrent of anxiety going on.
Worst time for me is the morning after I wake up. If I could only get out of bed and get to work then I might be a little better but 7am is a little too early. Before this episode I wasn't going to bed until 2 or 3 in the morning and reading how lack of sleep can lead to conditions such as anxiety and depression I have changed my bed time to 11 pm to try and get enough sleep in. Still early days yet as only been doing it a week now.
What is your caffeine intake like? This could be a trigger for anxiety. I was on about 4 cans of coke zero a night with various mugs of tea during the day. I think I hit about 250-350 mg per day on average. I know the safe limit is around 400 mg but some people tolerate caffeine better than others and I am one of those others 😦
So maybe explore your caffeine use as a start? I now drink coke zero caffeine free which has just come on sale here in the UK. I was drinking diet coke caffeine free but zero is much tastier.
Stay safe.