Anxiety has gotten so bad, i don't know what to do :'(

Hello, i am new to these fourms, Ihave been struggling alot with my anxiety and depression. I don't want to make this longer than it needs to be so i will just give you some stuff about me and all this. When i was 11 i started to self harm and i became suicidal. What i think triggered it was, Finding out about my bio dad, and also tring to learn how to make friend's ( i was always socially awkward and tring to figure out who and where i belonged). At 13 i did my frist suicide attempt, My parents called the cops and they saw my scars and recommended my parents to take my to the hospital, and i ended up staying there for a week. I went home and just went back to school and i was still struggling. I was really anxious in middle school and very depressed, But i did have a therapist, but it didn't do very much. About i would say 15 i was a sophmore in high school, and i attempted suicde for the second time this time i told my school counselor and i ended up going to the hospital again this time they put me on medication called Zoloft, I was also diganosed with Severe Depression, Panic Disorder, and Generalized Anxiety Disorder. After i left alot changed i was going to go to a new school that was small and had LOTS of therapy, and i was to stick on the zoloft and see a psychiatrist for my meds and some therapy. I went to that school for the rest of my school days. I still struggled with self harm, depression and anxiety but that school really kept me alive. When i turned 18 i had to go see a new therapist/psychiatrist because the one i had was a kid/teen one. So i did that and i only saw her twice. My Zoloft only helped alittle with my depression but never my anxiety. After i graudated i started to isolate from my friends that i met at the therapy school. At 20 my parents decided to take me off the Zoloft cold turkery. I was fine for a few months, then my anxiety started to peek more. I would be in panic mode from my house to the place we were going to. They only got worse from there. So i just started to ignore them and just play video games, I didn't want to deal with it. Then January this year i started to date my best friend who lives in Pennsylvania and i live in Minnesota. It was just a casual relationship, up untill about i would say May we started talking about meet and possibly moving in together in about 2-4 years. I was really happy and excited that he wanted to make it serious. By then end of May i relazied that i panic everything i go out so i decided to start challenging myself, and it's only been getting worse each month. I would cry alot, I lose my appetite for days or weeks, My depression is back, I self harmed this July after about a year of not doing it, I just want to end my life. I am beyond anxious, i am worried to much about the future. I am worried about going to jail for not paying taxes, because i am to anxious to get a job let alone go out in public. I am drained all the time. I am also scared my boyfriend is gonna dump me because he is gettng stressed out about my anxiety. I just feel so hopeless and i just want to end my life. I am 22 i still got 2 years before i have to worry about it but it's just becoming a HUGE problem to the point where i just want to end everything. I don't want to deal with this anymore all i do is cry all the time. I am seeking help from a therapist but she is no help at all, our frist meeting she said that she couldn't handle me because she deals with people who are okay (out of treatment, or on meds). I am just so stressed i haven't relaxed in a long time. All the things i use to enjoy i don't enjoy anymore. i need help, please help me i am at the end of my ropes.

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