Anxiety in my relationship

Posted , 3 users are following.

Hello, I'm 18 years old and I recently just ended my relationship of over a year. My boyfriend had anxiety, which he has been seeing a counsellor for, for about 2 months. Although he has suffered throughout our relationship, things started to get worse. Last September he moved to university, which meant I would only see him once a week. He hated his university and the course, which added to his anxiety. Previously I had been very patient and understanding with him, but after a big argument a couple of months after him starting university, I began to feel like I was walking on egg shells to please him. In the end I ended up feeling suffocated with him worrying so much that I could even like any of my male friends photos without there being an issue. Baring in mind they were just my friends and I've known them much longer than I'd known my boyfriend, I felt really uncomfortable. I began to get anxious myself because I was so worried about upsetting him. I love him to pieces and I care so so much about him but I knew the relationship wasn't normal and it was beginning to make me miserable. I ended it a couple of days ago and honestly it was the hardest thing I've ever done and although I know it was for the best I can't help regretting it. I've been crying my eyes out since and even for the days before that. I needed to put myself first because I have my A-level exams to sit in the summer. I'm hoping maybe he can sort out his anxiety and after my exams, when I'm less stressed, we can try and sort things out. I'm really desperate to get back in touch with him but I don't want to mess him about. Because he's got anxiety, I am really worried about him and I just want to know he's okay. What do you guys think about it? Have any of you been in my position and if so what was the outcome? Do you think I've made the right decision. Thanks in advance

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6 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi Megan, I'm so sorry this has happened, anxiety effects everyone both the one who suffers and those who care for them. You can't feel guilty about your decision, it was not done out of malice or anything like that. You do have to take care of yourself. Maybe this will motivate your boyfriend to seek help and I do empathize with you both. I suffer from anxiety and panic disorder myself and it does get dibilitating. But we don't want anyone to give up their lives for us and I'm sure he feels the same and understands. Hopefully you can work things out and hopefully he can be cured of this affliction. take care of yourself.

    Brian

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  • Posted

    Hey Megan,

    you're young, and he will have time to forgive you. Anxiety affects people and everyone around them sometimes, and it's awful.

    does he know that you feel this bad?

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    • Posted

      Yeah he knows how bad I feel for leaving him. I just worry that I will make his anxiety worse. We did leave things on good terms because I told him that if he can start to control his anxiety then once my exams are over we could try again.

      Thank you for your help

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    • Posted

      it's good that you left that door open. after exams, try to reassure him that there could be a future, but no matter what, you guys will be friends.

      If you need any help or advice, post on heer or feel free to send me a PM.

      Good luck and all the best!

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    • Posted

      Yeah I agree. We left on good terms and I'd never want to fall out with him because he really does mean everything for me. I think it was just time that I put myself first. Thank you for your help.
      Report / Delete Reply

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