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Anxiety intrusive thoughts

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Gemzi101
Gemzi101

hello everyone, im looking for a little advise please. ive been struggling with intrusive thoughts for around 6 months now and ive never had them previous to this but got them after a nervous breakdown. i am noticing an improvement on the meds and trying to remain as calm as possible but anything personal or private thats mainly sexual my brain wants to say out loud e.g how i masturbate to get reassurance. its awful and i feel like my brain wont allow me to have a private life or its like it wants to fear and embarrass me. im also fearful after i masturbate if someone sits on my bed where ive maturbated incase they get my bodily fluids on them or if i get it on the toilet seat after cleaning myself and have to spray it down. i just dont know how to stop this fear and this feeling. has anyone else experienced this please?

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  • Guest
    Guest Gemzi101

    Edited

    I'm a retired medical professional in the U.S. and will provide you with some information to help you proceed in the right direction but need to ask several questions.

    From what circumstances did you suffer a "nervous breakdown?" How long had the circumstances existed before you suffered the break? Please describe precisely what you mean by "nervous breakdown." I ask because that is a laymen's term. I need to know more precisely from a clinical perspective what occurred.

    Please tell me your age and what specific medications are you taking regarding treatment?

    From a general standpoint, it's important to realize that what you're describing is disinhibition and it can often arise as a side-effect of certain medications, as well as bear relevancy to the circumstances involving the "nervous breakdown." This sort of disinhibition also quite commonly involves sexuality or sexual circumstances. While the impulse to divulge personal or private information can dramatically increase the risk of actually revealing it absent any ability to control it, such a consequence rarely, if ever, actually occurs.

    You seem to be troubled by masturbatory activity that, while private in context, is perfectly normal behavior and this is particularly true in the absence of a sexual partner. The release of sexual tension through masturbatory practices is common. I realize that your fear is the sudden disinhibitory divulgence of a private matter but need to be certain that you also understand the activity is entirely normal. It's also important to realize that sexually charged rumination can also be a side-effect of some medications as well.

    So if you'd care to provide answers to the questions posed, I can provide you with a more detailed response. It's nothing to worry about, so try to relax and I'll see what I can do to get you moving in the right direction.

    Best regards

    • Gemzi101
      Gemzi101 Guest

      Edited

      hello, thank you so much for your response. i have suffered with anxiety disorder for 11 years with panic attacks. i took citalopram for 8 years 10mg and then came off them. i got in to a new relationship that was very difficult and i had trust issues and was always on high alert for 4 years. when it ended i was heartbroken and began drinking spirits some nights which i wasnt a big drinker to begin with. then i met someone else and that didnt work out and ended after 4months. in that time i had health issues and alot of worries. i took a morning after pill in the july and then in august i began 10mg citaloptam again, also in august i had some steriods and then after the course of steroids i began with servere panic attacks for around a week or two, constantly with very little break, i thought i was dying and would curl up in a ball on my bed i couldnt focus or watch tv only squiggle in a book to distract my mind. i went up to 20mg citalopram and then the anxiety attacks wherent as servere but i always have a doom feeling inside and it can feel like a stinging panic feeling in my abdomen. then not long after i began with ocd intrusive thoughts that swap and change in nature, sexualised, harm ocd and negative thoughts which are all against my nature and what i truly value. and then theres the fact that i feel i cant keep a secret, keep a private life and feel tremendous guilt for the things my brain thinks and says. its so hard to live with this mental illness and i dont know whats wrong with my brain. could it be a hormone imbalance due to the morning after pill i took, could it be something to do with the week course of steroids i took or is it a imbalance in chemicals in my brain, i just dont understand and i want it to stop. im 30 years old and currently on 30mg citalipram and take pronopinol 10mg but only when needed. thanks again

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