Anxiety is making me want to leave my job

Hi Dan,

 keep going to your counselor even if you start feeling better, it really can help. There are some really great audios on YouTube for stress, anxiety, depression, getting a good nights sleep, etc.   look up Michael Sealy . I put my earbuds in at night and it is really effective in reducing my anxiety!  

Hi Dan,

Curious to know how things are going. I've found myself in a similar situation. Started a new job 2 years ago and was doing well at first but began to experience more and more anxiety. I find myself avoiding work and don't have an interest in anything I'm doing anymore. It has really affected how well I do my work and my home life. I find that I'm having trouble making decisions, get frustrated very quickly, and always think others are thinking negatively of me. It's become very hard to evaluate my own performance because I feel my negativity filter is very skewed. I'm convinced that if I quit my stressful job I'll be able to see and think more clearly, but I've also lost a sense of what other job I would like to do. Has anyone found that exercise helped them cope with this?

Hi dan,

I feel a lot of sympathy for you as I have been in a similar situation myself.

I picked up on a few things within your original post.

One is that you are battling against your anxiety, especially when you say toward the end: "I want to be a normal guy."

I can relate here, also.

The trouble is, as you fight your anxiety you then begin to battle two things: the anxiety AND yourself. A feeling of uncertainty, fear, frustration, desperation and shame. An endless tug of war ensues and it is little wonder that you cannot concentrate at work.

You now fear the prospect of work because in your mind it only further underlines to you that you are unable to cope. You feel over whelmed, unable to do your job and are governed by anxiety...this is the mindset you have before and during work. The place represents this to you...and so whenever a task comes up you have failed before you start. It is like a form of self sabotage which is very common in anxiety.

You are juggling so many things at work that you almost end up chasing your own tail; this is partly due to the fact that you feel you need to PROVE yourself and abilities.

So now you can add pressure into the big pot of all your other feelings.

It is too much.

Tablets will help, but they won't solve your problem. You need to find the root of your anxiety and why this is happening to you..until you begin to tackle this, it will continue on no matter where you go.

Firstly, you need to learn to give yourself a break. You are only human. Allow yourself to ask people questions at work, this is how we learn. Everyone needs help sometimes.

If you feel unable to ask because of a bad atmosphere at work, then this is a different issue which also needs to be addressed.

Allow yourself to feel anxious..in acceptance it does stop governing you. Otherwise, you only succeed in running away and it will always catch up with you down the line.

I think therapy could work wonders for you. I wish you all the best

Hey Dan, another +1 for your problems buddy.

Before I write my monologue here I wanted to tell you that as much as you want to call yourself a looser and a failure for quitting... DONT, it's a mistake man. You did the right thing. We only live once and health is VERY important whether mental or physical. By enduring ridiculous stress, even if its ONLY caused by your disorder... which i highly doubt, your coworkers are obviously complete a**holes... you're not helping anyone by letting yourself suffer. Take a crappy easy job to hold you over while you look for something more fulfilling and not stressful.

I want to try meds too... but I hear they can cause addiction as well as really make you behave like someone you're not... which would be horrible.

You sound like a great guy, very humble and hardworking, the world needs more folks like you. Don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise, stand up for yourself and for what you believe in.. like your emotional well being. If they fire you for it, ... their loss... just dont tell em that. You know your worth.

I never thought I'd be saying this but it seems that I've come to the same realization, I have work-related anxiety or at the very least it is heavily exacerbated by work stress and severe lack of confidence, fears of failure and all that other stuff. I loose sleep over thoughts of what WILL happen if I don't get my sh*t together, I bite on my fingertips, my eating is erratic, I drink WAY too much coffee to make my brain work faster... but most of all I know that this is all related to work. I'm also going to go ahead and say it just be completely clear sex life really suffers because of stress probably becuase i feel a lot less of a man inside. Its very frustrating because i remember hiw it feels like to be confident....

I used to drive a taxi and had no boss, no deadlines, no actual colleagues and hence no stress... but then rideshare came along and I can't earn a living wage driving cab or doing rideshares anymore... competition is crazy and driver payout is not good to say the least.

Now, after 5 years of driving cab and having NO stress I started working in IT consulting... it's a new job and I'm stressing my balls off. Im not a dumb guy, have some coding skills, understand computer tech... pretty good with clients, or at least i can put on a decent performance... but the leadup to that is just insane. I dont sleep, eat badly or overeat, drink more coffee daily than Starbucks sells in a month and worry about what is every 15 minutes. I've strested like this before working in coprorate as well as in another consulting position. This is a BAD feeling. Its funny because I think I'm trying my hardest but also when I think of what my superiors think of me I have 2 conflicting views: A. He's new and working hard, and he's pretty good at this and B. Maan, this guy is so slow and he's probably lazy and makes lots of mistakes but thinks that he can do it all... we need to get rid of him soon. This dissonance drives me up the wall emotionally speaking... I can't figure out which one it is.

Oh and I'd even be ok with quitting my job to make anxiety go away but something tells me that i really need to get serious about life and career and also wife tells me I'd be a loser to quit an IT job that im good at... she doesn't get the whole anxiety disorder thing even though she was once taking anti-depressants for her mood swings.

Having no money also sucks... it can make you depressed and anxious as well as make you think of doing immoral things like distribute ahem... natural medication which I also thought of doing but don't really want to risk imprisonment or put my family in even tougher financial situation.

This is what I think about when I just really want to quit... more anxiety on the other side of the fence...

Still, if I had a unsupportive or abusive work environment I would quit in a heartbeat even if that meant going back to driving cab.

Fortunately... no such thing, just my own crazy thoughts and feelings of inadequacy and lack of self esteem/self worth.

Hang in there bud and all you folks dealing with anxiety at work.

We're just good hard working folks fighting the good fight for our families. I'm sure we all are very good at what we do and our families love us... isn't that always the case, it's just that we all can't seem to see ourselves through this lens of positivity.

It's a disorder... one way or another, let's accept it and get diagnosed so at least well have a piece of paper to remind us that it's not our fault. I'd rather have a note from the doc than think that I'm a failure for the rest of my life.

Dre

Well... I wrote a long one but forgot that posts are moderated for swear words and stuff.

In case my post doesn't make it past moderation just wanted to let you know Dan that I have many of the same problems as in I suffer from work related anxiety and can't easily leave but I do think that leaving and finding a better job... as in less stressful job is ultimately the way to go.

If we all had the time and resources to make ourselves strong and resilient that would be great but most of us end up taking the pill or worse... the bottle or even worse.

Just remember Dan, your a good, hard working loving and caring human being and I'm certain that if it wasn't for anxiety you would be an absolute rockstar at work.

Don't ever change... maybe just try to find a job that makes you happy at least a little... and is not causing you to cry before work.

Hi Dan et all,

I just googled the Internet for help to my feelings of anxiety and found this. I can completely relate with everybody on here and I hope that life is being good to you.

Cheers,

Phil

I can relate to what you said Dan and it breaks my heart to know that we have to endure this. 

I feel I can't trust myself, my thinking, nor people's behaviours or reactions or conversations with me. Everything has a double meaning that seems to point at my faults, weaknesses and inabilities to cope with everyday things. 

I work in social care for the past 10 years, earning my honours degree in that time. I have no interested in promotion and I feel nervous of the idea of that. I think I have a social anxiety as I avoid parties or meet ups. There have been many changes in social care where I'm from and I feel that Im unprepared and have lost belief that I can do this job at times. I actually feel that my co-workers are trying to make me accountable for everything if they can, meaning that i should take the blame for any mistakes that could occur. I've had conversations with work colleagues where they have told me that because I'm the qualified social care worker that they don't have to do this part of their job or that and if any questions are asked well it's me that has to answer for it! People seem to think they are safe because they can hide behind me even though they have been doing their job for years. Any actions I've taken to protest or to redirect work load or responsibility has been met with a job not being done or me being asked to do it by my manager. I feel I can't refuse because it is all our job or its come to a point where it has to be done or I'm basically not strong enough to voice my opinion or I'm afraid that it could be a reported offence. I have a lot of conversations in my head because, I can't the conversations in real life and if I do they don't go as i imagined. I too feel defeated so why even try or just expect the worst.

Tonight I made a stand and refused to be flexible in my job. My manager texted me a request that I felt bails other staff out of a situation that I have had to just get on with and do when I started work. I feel my manager takes care of particular staff, the ones who don't pull their weight like others and myself.

I went to the trouble of writing on paper my text message conversation with my manager and my thoughts and feelings around the conversations. I actually do go for counselling as things have been getting too difficult in the last year.

Now I feel massive guilt that I'm not pulling my weight, that I've left others in a pardicament. My unit manager who has only started called to say they agreed with my manager instead of me. When I explained my reasoning they didn't disagree but said that when they in charge they will do things fairly. I feel this is threat and that they plan on making me do anything I've been asked to do in future. I made this stand in order to highlight the unfairness and now I feel that maybe I'm wrong and look like a fool. I feel wrong but I feel I have to make a stand because some staff are being looked after while I feel I have to face everything without an issue.

i don't believe mediation could help me with any of this and my therapy seems slow and difficult as it acknowledges the behaviours of fear and avoidance that I do but I don't feel terrified to change them.

i too have had the notion that some people must drive off the road just to end their anxiety.

And all I wonder is...should I leave this job? It's great money but I am not great at socialising and I feel I'm always the odd one. I'm sorry if I took over your thread but I would love to hear the outcome of your situation and how things are going.

It's funny before you start reading people's post, you think you're mad, you think there is something that only you have in the world.

i to suffer from aniexty. If you were to meet me you'd think I was the most confident person in the world. Inside sometimes I feel like I could die.

im 37 years old husband and father to 4 children, I recently left my job due to aniexty. 

Ive worked hard for so many years to get to senior level and life ambition was to be CEO of a large organization. Now part of me knows I have the knowledge and skil set to do this but the demon that is aniexty will not let me. 

It has brought me to tears on a number of occasions, I have tried medication , I have seen therapists and I have had hypnotherapy, the only one that actually makes you feel better for a short space of time is the latter. 

Now im fine going to work, but I have a fear of meetings, it makes me physically sick, if I have to stand and talk I worry that I will not be able to speak when it's my time to talk and the words won't come out, it ends in a panic attack and I've had to make excuses and walk out on a number of occasions. It's all very strange as what I will see I know of the top of my head . It just happens. 

It started to to get progressively worse and to the point where I'm currently at home looking after my kids whilst my wife works. I'm ina lucky position I earn well and my wife earns well we can survive of one income. 

Its a crul beast and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. 

good of luck everyone. 

Dude, I'm becoming the same way. I have a very stressful job and have slowly descended into a pit of anxiety. It's actually affecting my job performance when previously I think I was doing well. My wife has been pretty unsupportive, saying that I have to deal with it myself. I'm still searching for the answer - likely meds - but not there yet.

Hi Dan,

Don't have any advice, but wanted to write and say that I was grateful to have stumbled across your post and felt relieved that other people feel the same way as I do currently with anxiety and work. Gives me some comfort knowing I'm not going completely insane and that I'm not alone. Hope your situation has improved some what! 

I joined a company as a temp and then somehow got touted as the next big thing in my company. People dubbed me "The Rising Star" and gave me rounds of applause after my presentations.The pressure to live up to that kind of expectation is just ridiculous as you're constantly waiting for the big moment when the inevitable slip up happens and you're no longer the chosen one. Like the Popstar who gets a few hits and then disappears into obscurity. 

Problem was, no one ever redefined my role after the person I was covering for decided not to come back, so now I report to FOUR individuals and am constantly being pulled from pillar to post without knowing what I should and shouldn't be working on as the boundaries have become so blurred. I've had to walk out of meetings and and events having panic attacks (in secret) and trying not to throw up multiple times because I have no idea what areas are mine to impact on any more. 

It even became apparent in a meeting I was at to discuss my future that no one actually knows what I'm there to do (including HR!) which has made things worse. Unfortunately, the discussion ended hanging and was never mentioned again so I'm not sure where I stand. 

I'm only young and this is my first proper job.  I have no mentor or manager - they've just sort of left me to it without much guidance - and I don't really know how you can just proclaim "Hey I haven't got a clue what you want me to do in this role or what you expect from it because this was only meant to be temporary against the set list of stuff we agreed" without getting completely owned or fired. So I'm not sure what my plans are for the future... at the moment it's just riding it out and hoping it somehow improves. 

From my stand point, I know that my performance has slipped, I feel constantly exhausted, I can't focus, my work is sucking hard, my self-esteem feels like it's at rock bottom right now, and the way I feel about the company is just so negative. I find the politics within the organisation completely disheartening and many of the characters super difficult to deal with. Since I've been there it feels like I've had the life sucked out of me.

But what I find most bizarre is that no one in the company appears to have noticed that I appear to have fallen off the wagon BIG TIME. I even remember feeling bad that someone said "this girl is a superstar" recently when I feel SO bad and completely disilusioned and know I'm under-performing. I cried on colleague after my "big presentation" and they couldn't understand what was the matter and just told me to be more confident and that my presentation was fine.

Before putting on a game face and going all guns blazing through it all was easy, now it's exhausting. I'm frightened that all work places are just like this one and maybe this might be as good as it gets which is stopping me from leaving at the moment. 

Like you or a few others wrote, I literally feel so uncapable of doing anything or being able to offer any value to any other companies that leaving seems impossible. I don't even feel like I'd be able to stack shelves at the supermarket despite having a degree and doing extra courses outside of work to build my skillset.

I've started having Counselling to try and get a hang of the anxiety and work through some issues but the more I think about it, it keeps coming back to the uncertainity within the job that is contributing to it all. Hoping counselling can help me return to some kind of normality or at least help me with techniques to control the anxiety.. I feel like a complete shadow of my former self and it sucks. We shall see how it goes.

Best of luck and big hugs to everyone in the same boat! 

This can easily happen. I send you an air hug. This stupid anxiety just really messes the quality of life up at times. If you need medicine for a bit dont beat yourself up over it. Its okay and people wean off them most of the time just fine. Better to function. Stay with therapy. In terms of intrusive thoughts..acknowledge them but as thoughts. Theres no rule you have to believe them. Just be like ok thank you for that thought but today is going to be a great day. Then go ahead and look about and note things that are nice and what you are grateful for. No need to fight the thoughts they are thoughts only. Fighting this mess, trying to ignore neither work. You have to accept them, not fear them not embrace the intrusive thought just acknowledge It. Sometimes its a random adrenaline rush so for those breath from the belly and know if you dont get scared it will wear off in ten to fifteen minutes. Thats a glitz in the fight or flight. Meds do actually help you be more rationale with anxiety. Then seriously learn cbt and. Or dbt because you need to do this on your own, but again meds can and do help whilst your retraining yourself. Geez people cast a broken leg so the leg will heal correctly not so sure why one would not want a temporary medicine to help them whilst they mentally heal.  You dont have to use them forever and you can wean off them when you want too, too many make it like some horrfic hellish thing..it isnt. I used them the first year in half then weaned off that was a very long time ago, i dont think in a state of crisis with the nerves all sensitive and frazzled a person can just be like ok today i will be all good and do that. It takes healing and it takes time. And thats okay.

From the age of 16 ive skipped from job to job.im very skilled and can put my hand to anything.but all of my jobs have lasted only upto 6 months.it has effected my whole life.i want to work but after a certain time period i get the sudden urge to just escape and move onto another job.niw im 33 its very tiring process which i would like to address somehow.i passed an online anxiety assesment and by phone so its maybe more of a psycological thing with me.never figured it out why i get anxious its very frustrating

I can totally relate this story.  I have been dealing with this for years with every single job I ever had.  Tried counseling and medication, but nothing works.  The answer is putting my trust and faith in The Lord, however with that said and truly knowing this to be the answer, I still struggle nearly every day.  The fact is although a real struggle, until I surrender and stop allowing myself to dwell on this stronghold, I just have to keep going day by day knowing that I will get through it.  Honestly it's really hard as you know, but somehow I realize we just have to keep working through things as we will get through every time if we have faith.  Sure easy to say, but this is the truth!

Hi Dan,

I am also in a situation like yours. Maybe worse. I could use someone to talk to as well. If you like to speak further thst would be great but I just want to say that I have been using binaural beats to heal me . Please do a little research. You can find them on you tube. It's what they used to use to heal people before medifine and I swear it works. They even have one for getting through your workload and get more organized. The ones for anxiety work wonders.

Hi Dan,

I am also in a situation like yours. Maybe worse. I could use someone to talk to as well. If you like to speak further thst would be great but I just want to say that I have been using binaural beats to heal me . Please do a little research. You can find them on you tube. It's what they used to use to heal people before medifine and I swear it works. They even have one for getting through your workload and get more organized. The ones for anxiety work wonders.

Hello dan03151...

First of all you need to work on your confidence. They wouldn't have hired you if they didn't think you could do the job.

Meds will certainly help you. Regardless what they are, your psychotherapist will do a great job on recommending some meds that will calm you down and help you work with more confidence.

If I can be honest, I've been there. Never felt I was good enough for a job and my mind often got really cloudy while being trained. I couldn't take enough notes and regardless, they didn't seem to help me when they sent me out on my own while someone still sat with me to see if "I got it"

To be even MORE honest, I lost many jobs not only for my lack of confidence, but because I had a hard time focusing and concentrating. Although I felt I could handle the job..someone sitting next to me and watching me only set me back as it affected my confidence.

Thus anxiety set in, my ears starting ringing..and I ended up out on my ass because I couldn't learn a simple procedure in a few days.

My fear of failure followed me in other jobs also as I never spoke up when staff wanted me to participate. It was much easier to just sit at my desk and do my job than to give feedback that might not be accepted.

Thus I just kept my mouth shut, yet that didn't go over well either with supervisors who wanted me to give feedback as it was a part of being a team. Every time I tried, my anxiety kicked in..hoping someone wouldn't jump all over me for the feedback I gave.

And yes..all I wanted to be was a normal person that could hold down a job without anxiety getting in the way.

A hundred things ended up on my desk that I surely handled well; yet there was always someone that told me that I should make better use of my time. While I wanted my work to be perfect..they always wanted me to work more efficiently. My job duties weren't just one thing, but many and I thought I did them all well; setting things aside for something with a bigger priority.

Although I loved that job to pieces..I felt like I was running in front of a train that never really caught up to me and by the end of the day, I was seriously out of breath!!

How long have you been working at your current job? They must have some confidence in you if they're looking past the fact that all of a sudden you can't keep up with your workload.

Talk to your supervisor and be honest about your anxiety and fear of failure. They may refer you to your Employee Counseling Service for starters..and if that doesn't help..they may allow you time off to see your own psychotherapist and get some meds on board for you.

Although you sound like one that doesn't want to depend on medications for your anxiety..they may really help you.

Good luck to you while sending many blessings that this job starts to work out for you. Confidence comes from within and if you get yourself on some anxiety meds..I believe you'll be just fine!!