Anxiety is running and ruining my life.
Posted , 3 users are following.
Hi everyone,
I'm new here, but sadly not new to the symptoms of anxiety and depression (mainly caused by the former).
Oh, just one thing, I wish to apologise for my rather long (back story) and quite detailed first post to this site.
I've suffered from various forms of anxiety, such as social and general anxiety and also have really bad problems with low self esteem, lack of confidence, self-consciousness and depression, and in extreme circumstances low self worth, and have done so for most of my life.
My symptoms are hereditary (past down by my mother) and also due to my upbringing, as all my immediate family (mother and two brothers) suffer from the same problems, and it has pretty much ruined my brothers lives too.
I found out around five years ago that I was actually suffering from something, and that it actually had a name (mainly the GAD and SAD) after reaching my wits end and deciding to do a search on the internet.
After doing more research and armed with the knowledge I had gained, I plucked up enough courage to book an appointment with my doctor.
I was put on medication (citalopram 10mg, then increased to 20mg then finally 40mg) and placed on a waiting list for CBT. Six months later I was booked in for my first session with the CBT therapist. I had fourteen sessions in total over the course of fourteen months, and ended my medication (mainly because of the side effects) around halfway through the course of CBT. That was just over two years ago, and though there has been some improvement, I feel that the course was not long enough and that the sessions had ended way too soon.
I don't really suffer from panic attacks any more (though have never really push myself to test this), But the anxiety, low self esteem, lack of confidence, self-consciousness, depression and (occasionally) low self worth still remain.
0 likes, 10 replies
Trooper1
Posted
The one thing I have noticed over the years, is that when I am feeling anxious (be it on public transport or walking down the street for example) my anxiety and the fact that I am feeling uncomfortable or self-conscious shows in my facial expression. Depending on the situation, my facial expressions seem to be either a neutral (though rather unhappy) expression, which possibly gives the impression I want to avoid contact, approach or confrontation. The expression of fear, because I am actually feeling very scared at that particular moment. Or sometimes the expression of anger because I am actually feeling either threatened or intimidated.
Trooper1
Posted
I must say, I'm really sorry (again) for my very long and (overly) detailed ramblings. But I guess (for some) on-line is the only chance we get to say how we really feel, and just hope someone out there somewhere, may be listening.
What a terrible, debilitating and under-recognised condition this really is. I would not wish this on my worst enemy.
Regards
Trooper
peter_a Trooper1
Posted
Trooper1 peter_a
Posted
peter_a Trooper1
Posted
Trooper1 peter_a
Posted
Trooper1 peter_a
Posted
peter_a Trooper1
Posted
graciefilm Trooper1
Posted
I understand exactly how you feel, i've been suffering from panic attacks for years now and they are seriously bad. I may not have what you have but i completly understand what you are going though. From what i can understand is that you think you have no self worth but i can tell you everyone has meaning in this world and even though yo may feel like you are nothing, i can tell you even though i don't know you, you are not nothing, you are someone and something special to somebody trust me.
Grace
Trooper1 graciefilm
Posted