anxiety, panic attacks and convinced theres something severly wrong with me cant cope anymore

Posted , 8 users are following.

hi guys this is going to be a long one i have so much to get of my chest and just need some reassurance that im not the only one that feels like this. so my anxiety and panic attacks started about 2 years ago,but the past 6 months my anxiety has been literally taking over my life i am only 19 and worried i will never be free of this. it has caused me to lose my job and not attend university i am constantly anxious and when i have a panic attack im always SO convinced its something more severe and that im going to die. getting myself into such a state the only way out is to call an ambulance and i always feel guilty after when they tell me that nothings wrong with me its just anxiety.

I feel light headed, dizzy, tight chest, dry mouth, clammy hands and pounding heart. i am also so paranoid about my health and constantly google to self diagnose myself which only makes it worse but i cant help it! if i get a headache i am convinced its a brain tumour! im so scared of getting cancer and feel like its something waiting to happen. i am on my 6th day of sertaline the first couple of days where great but now i just feel horrible again i am only on 25mg but i am losing all hope i just want to be free of this horrendous feeling! i am lucky to have a best friend who gets bad anxiety too but not as bad as me but she somewhat understands me which helps but my family think im an attention seeker and they dont seem to understand. i feel trapped in my own mind im not living im just existing i try so hard to think positively and get on with everyday life but i just cant cope anymore. i worry about literally everything and recently my boyfriend gave me a love bight which i wasnt happy about, but now i am convincing myself that its going to turn into a blood clot and im going to have a stroke and die!

Ihave had cbt i only attended 3 sessions and then my agrophobia got really bad i couldnt leave the house to attend anymore. i honestly dont know what to do anymore i feel like theres no hope for me at all. im so stressed which also causes my whole body to ache which doesnt help. my thoughts are so irrational im constantly thinking about my health and will i ever live a normal life and be able to do things like even have kids and go on holiday i cant even imagine getting on a aeroplane and having a panic attack with no where to escape! im so fed up with this now i have changed completely as a person i used to have so much confidence i went to acting school and got good gcses, my ubringing wasnt a very good one i was put into foster care as my mum has bipolar and is schizophrenic but despite this i was a happy child, i am so worried about going mental and getting schizophrenia aswell. im not enjoying life at all i think my anxiety increased when i was 16 and got into the wrong crowed would go raving on the weekends and take mdma aswell as smoke weed. But every teen goes through a stage of wanting to try new things and i was so curious aswell. This didnt last long though i made decision to change my friendship group and stop doing drugs however i think this is where my anxiety stems from aswell as my upbringing.Also when i was 17/18 i would binge drink every weekend which i think also increased my anxiety but the only time i seem to be happy is when im drunk, which is sad. if there was a tablet i could take that had the same relaxing affect as alcohol it would be a life changer! im sick of waking up every morning and having that horrible feeling in my stomach as if its sinking. i feel like i cant breath anymore and im detached from the world.

 i had always been able to cope but this past year has been the worst year of my life. its like a never ending cycle of fear and panic i have no relief! its honeslty taking over my life, some reassurance that im not the only one that feels like this would make me feel slightly better knowing im not alone but i feel like im the only one in the world that feels like this!

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7 Replies

  • Posted

    Angel, i'm so sorry you're in this state of mind, please be assured that everyone on this forum DOES know how you feel, and some of us are feeling just as bad right this minute... It's crap having so much going on in your head that it actually starts to affect you physically too! I know where you're coming from with alcohol, I'm happier drunk but know it's not the solution. My depression of 20 years can be tracked back to the time i started smoking weed and (stupidly) it took me ages to work that out, so you've definitely done the right thing stopping that!

    If you don't want to get on the anti-depressants, you can get a prescription from your doctor for betablockers, that'll slow your heart down a bit and give you breathing space.

    All the best hunnibun, we're all with you x

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  • Posted

    Don't feel guilty about utilizing the ER during s panic attack (;-) I did a couple of times lol) however it does seem like you have a lot in your plate. If the doctor has given you a clear bill of health yu need to understand that people who have such high anxiety almost bring these symptoms on upon themselves (when medically there is no concern). I often do this to myself with chest pain, headaches etc. but it sounds like you need some extensive therapy to require the way you think. Your life is being effected by this when you're 19 and should be enjoying it and having fun.

    If you are not seeing a psychiatrist I suggest you do to get your meds sorted away as well.

    Remember you're stronger than this and you're not alone.

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  • Posted

    Hi hun, firstly you are most definatately not alone, we all understand how you feel, we all have anxiety.

    Health anxiety is horrible, I have suffered from this for many years, sometimes its worse than others, the racing heart, breathlesss, dizzy, detatched, and more. I cant tell you how to put a stop to it, but the one thing i do know is the more you worry about it, the worse it gets, also, the more you try to get rid of it the more it will be there.

    I have found that it is better to try to accept it, believe me you wont die from anxiety, so I now try to embrace it, and it seems to help, doesnt stop it all together, but does greatly take the edge off it.

    There are some great meditations on u tube, I will look up the guy that i have been listening to, hes really good, and will help you through this.

    Maybe also so kind of councelling wouldnt be a bad idea, and how about hypnotherapy, some drs do it, at the surgery, or you could find someone local to you.

    Check out eft tapping as well, sounds and seems weird, but it really does work, and will bring you right down from an attack.

    I do also think it would help to talk to an older adult, maybe an auntie, grand parent, or even a close neighbour, someone that is a bit worldly wise. Its great you have a friend you can share with, but someone else that could sit and talk with you, or you could ring when your feeling bad.

    Lastly please stop thinking that you have schizophrenia, or any other mental illness, anxiety doesnt mean you weak, sad, ill, crazy, or anything else untoward, it just means you are ultra sensitive, and have a heightened nervous system.

    Relax hun, we are all here, anytime you want reassurance,

    But for now just try some basic breathing exercises, breathing into your belly, not your chest, deeply in through your nose, slowly out through your mouth, slow your breathing down to 6 or 7 breaths a minute, do this several times a day, for 5 minutes or more, and anytime you feel an attack coming on, practice it, you can do it anywhere.

    It really does help. Xx

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  • Posted

    Hey sorry if ive been annoying you.. But i can understand where you're coming from. I had a panic attack today actually and it was almost full blown. I had light headedness, nausea, breathing problems.. Racing heart beat.. And i felt like i was going to pass out... I was crying! Me and my dad were jus coming out of walmart and i was telling him to take me to the ER! He told me to calm down and take a nap when i got home. The ER was nearby... And i just didnt feel right! I thought oh no im dying this is it! I need to get outside where there are a lot of people so if i do pass out they call for help! Thankfully i never passed out but boy it was scary! I had to take a pill for me to calm down thats how bad it was and i usually dont take the pill often.

    Let me tell you that panic attacks can be VERY scary! I learned that because they often mimic symptoms of a heart attack or some other cardiac event! I thought that i was going to arrest.. And i was looking around for defibrillators to make sure they had them at walmart just incase. Its horrible! I just want this to end too! And these panics could come out of nowhere..my biggest fear is ventricular fibrillation which is when the heart beats choatically fast and doesnt pump blood out to the body. Everyone thinks im nuts because i have no heart problems and have been thoroughly checked by a cardiologist who said not to worry and that my heart is in perfect condition. Although i suffer from premature ventricular contractions the doctor told me not to worry about them for they are benign and harmless in healthy hearts.

    YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!! I dont know if i mentioned this before but everyday i wake up and feel like i could drop dead any moment and never see anyone again. Everyday i feel like its my last day. It drives me crazy! I try to do some things to relieve my stress.. Like watch a movie.. Draw.. Or other things.

    Anyways, you did the right thing by changing your friend groups and staying away from drugs. Drugs like cocaine.. Weed and heroin may relieve your stress for a while.. But it could REALLY affect you later on. From what ive heard.. Weed does less damage than coke and every other drug. But its still good to take some precaution of what it could do to you.. The drug clonazepam (klonopin) can cause a sense of feeling high.. Which makes me feel dopey and sleepy.. Which is why i dont like to take it often. Im also glad that you have one good friend who is there to support you and has the same issues you're going through and can understand and reassure you whenever you're feeling upset.

    None of my friends suffer from this so its harder for me... But you got all the tests done for your brain.. Your bloodwork came out good.. You had a cat scan.. Everything is normal. So you dont have a brain and will never get a brain tumor! You're gonna be fine my g

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    • Posted

      I know exactly how your feeling I had the worst anxiety attack today I've always had little ones I was able to deal with them. But the last 4 months they have gotten much worst no one understands what I'm feeling . Sometimes I think my blood sugar is going to low . I'm not hypoglycemic . In my mind I I'm other times I think I'm having a stroke . It's horrible living like this I lost it today I'm a 48 year old man and i started to cry because I've always been a person with alot of friends having fun going out . now I just stay home afraid to go anywhere. I know it's time for me see a therapist I heard they can really help . I just want you to know alot of people are trying to deal with this horrible thing. don't give up just do alot of praying hopefully God will remove all our fears and replace it with peace . God bless

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  • Posted

    Health anxiety is a awful thing to live with. I've had it from a very young age, made myself very poorly at one point and didn't eat properly for months, lost a lot of weight then going through teens I seem to get better. I'm 28 now and had my first child 2 years ago, ever since then I have suffered again massively. So paranoid about my heart thinking it's going to stop at any moment...so worried I'm going to leave my husband and son behind! I drive myself crazy thinking about it. It is literally taking over my life. Every time I read the news there seems to be a death due to heart complications etc I hate it. Some days I cope fine and don't think about it at all then I find myself alone at some point then there it is again the panicking and my mind going in a spin. I get anxiety symptoms a lot the chest pains, arm pain, shortness of breath. I've had 2 ECG both came back fine but I still ain't convinced. My husband thinks I should speak to a professional but I feel silly, I always have. It's a comfort to know I ain't alone in this. I just want to feel normal again. My brain just won't let me.

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  • Posted

    Have you considered therapy workbooks? You can get a CBT-oriented one for anxiety/panic disorder and do it on your own time. Studies show that it's *nearly* as effective as going to an in-person therapy session, iirc.

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