Anxiety/panic attacks seem to be winning/escalating

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I've been suffering with anxiety/panic attacks for a while - but they have only seemed to escalated these last 3months.

I don't know what has caused them but I think it might be (and apologies if I sound pathetic) to do with the fact that the relationship with my partner hasn't been going well. That and the fact that I had/have so much going on and I kept/keep it bottled up.

I have been to my GP and other professional services - counselling and physcaratrist to try and help me with how I'm feeling and they just seem to want to prescribe me tablets - fluoxetine and propananol, which personally I don't want to take because of the side effects and the fact I have a little boy.

Anyway I thought I was doing ok, knowing my symptoms and trying to realise that they won't kill me, even when it seems like I can't breathe.

Tonight though I woke up and this thought entered my head about jumping out my window, which is over 100ft.

I've never had such a thought and it has frightened me and now I'm so scared.

I fear my symptoms have now got worse and instead of just panic attacks they've escalated to depression and suicidal thoughts.

I'm not sure what to do! And I worry if I mention this to a professional my little boy will be taken and he's my world - partly the big reason why I never jumped.

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  • Posted

    First thing to remember is your not alone. Everyone has different side effects with this disorder and you sometimes feel alone and helpless. I'm not a drug pusher but sometimes a chemical imbalance needs to be adjusted with some meds. Lexapro has very few side affects and maybe consider taking a benzo to calm you down and think a little more clear rather then mind flying. As of suicidal thoughts, first thing they will do if you say that word is hit a panic button and off you go to get evaluated at the hospital- so please, leaving the world isn't going to solve any problems but make worse for your little boy. Make him the number one priority to have a strong mind and accept the panic attacks when they come. Remember it's not easy to deal with but the average attack lasts 10

    Minutes and you will not die. It is uncomfortable but if you fight it, it's better. Let it come and say hey panic attack how are you I know your here but leave soon. Music helps me a lot. But please do not harm yourself, it's a disorder that is a pain in the rear but remember kids and others that have days if not minutes left of their lives and probably would wish to trade panic attacks for cancer or other diseases that are life threatening. Keep your mind busy and active, excersize your mind and realize that you won't die from this. Depression is normal millions of oeople live with it! Please, don't think about negative thoughts like that and fight your attacks! Your letting them

    Win and take over you. Be strong ! 

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    • Posted

      Thanks for replying.

      I just don't like the thought of relying on tablets to make me feel better.

      Also I struggle taking tablets - normally takes me about a pint if water to swallow a paracetamol even when it's broke into quarters!

      I don't want to be judged as suicidal by my gp and for other people to get involved especially because if the consequences on my son.

      Even though the thought crossed my mind I didn't do it and I admit the thought has scared me and made me realise I need to do something to overcome how I feel and these thoughts which I get.

      I never thought about other people being worse off than me and wishing maybe they could change places if they could - maybe I should be grateful for what I have and live life to the fullest and not let these panic attacks, bad thoughts and anxiety take over - easier said than done at the moment.

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  • Posted

    I am not sure whether or not you are in the UK,but if you get any thoughts that you have described,the number to call is08457909090---The Samaritans,who are there 24/7 and listen to everything and understand his you feel and are not judgemental at all.I also don't take the medications prescribed for personal reasons,but notwithstanding there IS help if you feel that you are in a crisis.They do help me to calm down,when Ibam I. The middle of a panis/anxiety attack.
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  • Posted

    Did not finish my last post.Actually Propalonol is good to have for emergencies before you are going somewhere where you might feel panicky.It is the only pill I take on those occasions and it can help.

    They stop the palpitations if you get them ,and if they have been prescribed for you,they are

    probably not a very high dose.from my experience I do not get side effects from them.You WONT jump,your little boy means so much to youand NEEDS YOU,and that is such apowerful reason to stay around.Sadly my own mother did not and the repercussions for me have lasted since 1998.

    There IS help out there which does not have to include medication if you so wish.

    have you tried CBT yet?It is not a quick fix but seems to be very helpful.Dont give up,especially for your little boy.

    wish you WELL,

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    • Posted

      Thanks for replying to me.

      I am based in the UK and looked at the Samaritans website before posting on here. At the moment I don't have the credit to be calling them.

      Which medication was you prescribed? Or do you take?

      I just fear as my mind over think things which makes me think even worse I.e if I took the propananol to slow my heart down and it wasn't racing in the beginning what would be the consequence?

      I know my boy needs me and that's what I need to keep telling myself and why I push myself to do things which I'm not comfortable with. He really is my world and I wouldn't want to do anything to hurt him or have repercussions for him later on in life x

      The CBT hasn't started yet - got my first assessment on 26/8.

      Sometimes I find talking about stuff helps and hopefully I'll be able to get some help and techniques.

      I hope I come out the other side of this dark place.

      Sorry to hear about your mum x

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    • Posted

      I think you can go to one of the Samaritan's local walk in centres to talk to someone.E-mail them and explain the situation.They are open certain hours during the day.It would be better to speak to someone that way rather than not at all.

      Over the years I have been prescribed so many different pills for Anxiety/depression,but I only manage to take Propalonol as It is a low dose and just calms down the panic attacks when they occur.For example I like to have them on me incase I feel a panic attack coming helps me to feel a bit more secure.

      I am not interested in taking anti depressants because as I mentioned I do not want to experience unpleasant side effects.Maybe they won't happen,but I don't want to become dependant as I DO take a sleeping pill each night and feel that is enough to take as It is very difficult to stop taking them and get a good nights sleep without them.

      CBT should help you.


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