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not sure where to start, so please bear with me. A little over a month ago (July 30th) this all started, or at least it all started at the levels my current symptoms are now. This day was my 50th birthday, it has nothing to do with anything really other than I had family and friends visiting. I had no anxiety about my age and do not now - at least not consciously. The family had gone through the loss of my mother back in May and along with other stressors (trying to buy a home - which isn't going well, daughter moving away, finances, etc...) and I wanted to try something to help me relax. I must say that I am a recovering alcoholic, but I have been sober for 18 months so I did not want to relax by relapsing. So me and a few others smoked some MJ, I had only done this once before in my life and it has been years. Well subsequently I smoked way too much because I had a full blown panic attack and suffered from Dp/Dr among other things. My BP shot up to 190/115 and the next day it was still high so I went to the ER. I suffer from high BP anyway, but nothing like those numbers. My EKG and blood checked out fine and I was sent home once I stabilized my BP. Every since this day I have been suffering from severe anxiety attacks and depression, almost daily. The mornings seem to be the worst, but I also find it difficult to sleep.
I have had a few good days here and there , the last couple of days were okay but this morning it all came back again. I never suffered from this level of anxiety before and went to see my Dr and was prescribed Xanax which does seem to help calm me down somewhat when I am having a very bad moment, but I am afraid to take more than I have. It is "take as needed" and out of the 20 pills given to me I have taken like 5 in the course of 2 weeks.
I am not sure where to go from here, I like many others have Googled so many times now that I am scared even more which I know feeds the anxiety. When I do get a moment of calm I am very depressed so it feels like a no-win situation. I tried some chamomille tea and it did not help because as I was drinking it I looked up side effects and got scared I might be allergic.
I did have my first appointment with a psychotherapist this past Monday and he advised distraction techniques and meditation. I have another appointment soon. he seems genuine and even answers my texts at any time.
I just want to hear anyone's thoughts on all of this. Did the weed cause this? I am tired of looking up all these horror stories and other info from unreliable sources. In almost every case the worst anxiety was from using MJ was from years of use or cocktails with other drugs, but my mind just cant let go that I am now having anxiety all the time.
Today was really bad and I am searching for answers or advice. Should I take my Xanax - I get scared of addiction or side effects. I have had no side effects thus far when I take it other than a little tired the next day.
My wife has been very supportive and I would be lost without her or I should say more lost than I already am.
Thank you for any suggestions or comments - at this point I know patience is important and I find it diffuclt not to panic.
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