Anxiety's Door...

Posted , 6 users are following.

Hi,

Let me start by saying I'm a 29 year old male, have a fairly healthy diet, don't do as much exercise as I probably should these days & smoke very rarely. I suffer from Raynauds in the winter. No history of any mental disorders. 

The story; I hurt my left shoulder carrying a rather heavy bag around February time, then slept funny on it a few months later and woke up the next morning in agony. Every since then it's a pain that has gradually been getting worse & worse (think a dull, throbbing ache where the shoulder meets the neck). I also have occasional pain under the collarbone, down near near my shoulder blade & also down the inside of my left arm to my fingers

OK, so my anxiety, or what I believe to be anxiety, started back in August when my hands became numb & felt clumsy (probably the second or third time this had happened in a month). I visited a walk in centre but was sent away with some co-codamol & a smile. After that I'd have to say I was OK for a month or so, well, ish, until late September time when I went on holiday. That's the time that we'll say the you know what hit the fan. As soon as the plane landed all I could think about was - "what if something happens while I'm here, I've left it too long, oh dear" - And THEN it started: massive fatigue, weak muscles (to the point where it felt like I'd spent 5 hours in the gym the previous day, even though I'd been at the beach!), headaches, wooziness / dizziness, dry mouth, diarrhea, trapped wind in my chest, closed throat, feeling faint, insomnia & so on & so on. Naturally, I Googled these symptoms (you know, as you do nowadays) and instantly felt 10x worse just by browsing through some of the search results (I know, stupid thing to do).

On my return to the UK I visited my GP, did some brief strength tests for MS (all fine), but had to return 2 weeks later as I still wasn't feeling any better. During this time I was occasionally waking up in the middle of the night, my body temp was all over the place & was growing increasinly worried / agitated. For example, If I couldn't think of a certain persons name, I was sure I was losing my mind. I began to second guess everything. Did I see that or was it in my head? Is my body temp correct, or is it just hot in here? Are those glands in my neck of is that a painful lump. Ahh. Ahh. Ahh.

& so I went back to the GP. He gave me a blood test, which 2 weeks later came be OK. Now, you would think that such confirmation would be the last of it? But no... I was convinced that after I'd got the all clear I would be fine again. A weight off my mind, if you will. But I can't shift it. Soon after this I began experiencing facial numbness and tingling (forehead mainly, but generally all over), which knocked the worry levels up a notch to say the least. This is often acconmanied by a state of uneasyness that creeps up on you like a slow tsunami wave. And once its there, there is very little you can do but fight & ride it out until it passes. 

These episodes do indeed pass after a while, but disconcerting they most definitely are. My main problem at the moment, however, is my fatigued muscles. My calves, thighs & arms (biceps / triceps) are in total agony. Contraced, some days are in fact better than others, but it still lingers around leaving me feeling like I've just ran a marathon. Simply things like brushing my teeth or putting wax in my hair is troublesome. I get a feeling that there's just no energy left in the tank. It's absolutly deflating. And not just that, the mental fatigue is, too. Sometimes, just the thought of interacting and engaging with other people is the worst possible thing imaginagle. I simply want to be horizontal in a room with no sound, to be quite honest. And not because of any social issue either, but more like there's an actual underlying force that pulling me & my energy levels downwards. It's hard to describe, that one, but hopefully somone knows what I mean. Another extra little bonus is  that I've noticed more & more fasciculations (muscle twitche) in both my arms of late. However unrelated or random these may be, I'm not entitely sure. Alas, it's another thing I wrote down, anyway.

I've since been to my GP about 6 times to date, with stronger painkillers being prescribed for the root of my *actual* shoulder / neck problem, which, true to form, is getting more and more painful as the weeks go by. I have been refered for physiopherapy but at this moment in writing I have been waiting over 8 weeks (I've called & called!) & still no news on an appointment. As you can imagine, the lengthy process is not good for the overactive mind. Oh our great NHS.

I'll be blunt, my absolute underlining fear is that this could turn out to be something utterly horrendiaous like ASL, MND, MS, or who knows what else, & it's been about 6 months without identifying the actual problem. It's a vicious circle, I know, I know. The more you think about something, the worse you get, the worse you get the more you think about it. I'm sure you more than understand. 

And so, in conclusion, any thoughts or adivce would be more than welcome. I'm rather exhausted here, to be frank.

Thank you for reading.

Barry

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9 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi Barry! I feel the EXACT same as you. I am a 29 year old female who suffers from sever anxiety! About a month ago I started getting like a weird tired/dull feeling in the left side of my neck under my jaw. Then it would spread occasionally down to my collar bone. Then I would have a weird tight feeling from the left side of where my neck and shoulders meet and then all through the left side of my head through my temple and above my left eye. Some days it does the same thing on my right side. I've gone to the doctor 3 times in the last 3 weeks and they all say it's anxiety, but I can't but think it's something else even though my blood work is fine! I can rationalize that I don't have cancer, but if it's just anxiety, why do I still have these feelings on and off everyday?

    I hate feeling this way! I always think I am dying and I will leave my husband and our little girl behind.

    I'm sorry you're suffering from HA, it is so debilitating and people who don't have it don't understand how tough it is to cope with. I am sure you're fine too, you just have to learn how to talk yourself down. Easier said then done, I know! Beat of luck, Barry! 

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    • Posted

      Thanks Kristen. I'm sure you're fine too. &, like myself, I think you'll have to keep returning to your docter until you are satisfied with the diagnosis / results. They're there for a reason, so let's use them! 

      Stay +

      B

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  • Posted

    Hello Barry.  Oh anxiety makes us suffer so many physical symptoms.  You just have to try and convince yourself that as all tests are negative, there is not actually anything wronge.  I've been there a few times too.  Have had to accept all due to anxiety.  But IU do have depression to so a double whammy!!

    You have true insight as to what is wrong with you, but you just have to accept that you suffer from anxiety and this manifests itself in a myriad of aches and pains.  If you truly believe there is something seriously wrong with you, then continue to see doctors until they can give you a positive diagnosis.  But you could be making your anxiety worse.

    Take care

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    • Posted

      Anne,

      Trying to stay positive. Sometimes it works! However, I'm working on the other times smile

      I am accepting the anxiety, I just want to completly rule out everything else completely so I can get my focus right. I started taking Magnesium tablets over the last week & can feel a noticable difference in my muscle aches, so that's a start. They give me a bit of a dry mouth, mind, but better than nothing I suppose. 

      Off to the GP next week again, let's get this sorted!

      Best 

      B

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    • Posted

      Yes you need to rule out that there is no physical illness.  I have been there and done that.  I do hope they find nothing wrong, I really do.  Glad you are getting less muscle ache. 

      Let me know what the doctor says.  Meanwhile keep writing here if it helps.

      Take care Barry and you are doing well, as so difficult to stay positive and accept we have anxiety.

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  • Posted

    Hello Barry,

    Did you get anywhere with finding out the root cause of this? I am 30 years old and have had anxiety issues and gradual lack of energy for the last 5 years or so, my hands and fingers started going numb about 2 years ago. The more I read about thoracic outlet syndrome, the more I believe this is causing the simply terrifying symptoms I've been getting!

    I have forward shoulder posture and am working on opening my chest and strengthening my middle and lower back muscles. It is hard work and I often aggravate symptoms but it does seem to be gradually reversing the effects. Please let me know how you've got on!

    Kind regards,

    Adam

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  • Posted

    Sjogrens would be my guess. But a rhematoid doctor would be needed. 
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