anxiety sufferer and ive just lost my hubby... how will i cope

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hi all im 43, been on 200mg of srtraline for about 6 weeks. 150 before that as well as lorsatan for high bp and diazapam when things get rough..... my partner of 49 just died with me at home of a heart attack. myself and my son did cpr to no avail.... he was my rock my staff my world my all.... i dont dare show grief... or feel too much.... i dont know how im going to go on without him i suffer huge panix attacks frequently where i am sick. think im dying. shake. get hot. cant breathe. faint. choke. the lot..... he was always here to take me down. they sometimes wake me.... im not aleeping or earing much i have 2 sons at home 19 and 25. there amazing but i dont know if there enough to keep me here.... i donr want to die in front of them. but i dont want to carry on either.

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  • Posted

    Awww so sorry to hear that Helen that's awful even worse it happened right in front of you aswell 😞 I kno this won't help in anyway it won't take away the pain your feeling but you sound like a strong lady and I'm sure you will get through this panick attacks are awful I kno I have them but you need to remind yourself that your fine it's going to be hard for a while for you but you will find strength to carry on...have you got a therapy person you see?? Always remember that us on this forum are here to help as much as we can... I crnt imagine what your going through but always remember that your husband will always be with you think of him when your feeling anxious or low remember the good times I hope your okay Hun xxxx

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    • Posted

      we buried him today. he died 13 days ago. i cant believe il never aee him again. no therapy person. scared of having an attack when noones here to help me. he had a small ha and a week later a huge one in bed. post mortem said heart disease. i dont know how il manage without him. im agraphobic n he wS my all i dont know how to not panic does anyone use any technics or anything
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    • Posted

      Awww no Helen 😔 Maybe it's best to try and start therapy that way you can open up about how your feeling that will help,,,it will never feel the same without him because that's who you have always been with and been used to especially with you panick attacks but you will be fine your strong enough when your having one always remember to take deep breaths inhale through your nose for 4 hold for 1 and out for 4 that will help calm you down,,,,try yoga I kno you probably won't feel Upto it just yet but in time that's suppose to help.. it must be so awful to loose your husband your soul mate but I'm sure he will want you to carry on and be strong xx

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  • Posted

    Oh Helen I'm so sorry for your loss sad I agree with what kirsty said.

    Remember we are here for you!

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  • Posted

    Hello Helen

    Sorry for your loss at such a young age.

    I would suggest with urgency that you talk to your GP and anxiety also the low mood, depression that your are suffering from.

    First let me explain. If you are so low and thinking of Suicide it is important you call the NHS Helpline on telephone 111 UK. You can also go into A and E and they can arrange back up and a possible appointment to see the local Crisis Group.

    During the day you can also talk to your GP, when you call explain you need an emergency appointment. Explain to Him your problems and concerns. 

    For all of above make a list of your feelings, fears depression and concerns before you call to save time.

    I tried to commit Suicide a long time ago and believe me when I say it is not the patient who feels the worse it is those who you leave behind, your Sons will be unable to understand why you would do such a thing. They will feel themselves hollow and numb at their loss and extreme sadness, it could also effect their personal lives and outlook. they

    All I know is they are never gentle with my resusitation and you will understand why in A and E are so tired at the end of a shift. Do not get me wrong after the attempt I was seen by a Crisis Team and introduced to a CPN who helped me com to terms with what I had done and the anger my family members had, they looked at my attempt as a blackmail and I am still watched like a hawk.

    I had a depressive problem several months ago and I walked out the house, my Wife instantly called the Crisis Team as they were concerned what I may do.

    They sent a Team down and they tried to wait for my return after a few hours they departed and gave my wife instructions to call the Police in a further two hours, I returned in one and arrangements again were started again for another treatment plan. The main problem I had was I had developed a Conjenital Short Term Memory loss with Depression caused by my medical disability. 

    It has taken four months to start CBT again and as they had to get me to a stage where in their eyes would not try another suicide attempt again. My walking out the house was for a time out, they do not trust you, neither does your family after a suicide attempt serious or not.

    Start my first normal treatment next week if you would call it that. I explain this to show the problems the living have when the word suicide is mentioned.

    Talk to your family about your/their loss you all need to talk and family wait for someone to make the first move. You need to accept your loss by talking with family and friends. I do not feel you husband would want you to feel as low as now

    I am always around with people here to talk

    BOB

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