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Anxiety Symptoms or Depression Frustrated I'm not getting better quicker..

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nikkinakken
nikkinakken

I've been feeling more depressed the last 3 days. My therapist said the anxiety would go up and down and then the gaps in between would widen. I felt so depressed yesterday that i felt like i was not going to make it through this period. I've had a relapse in Panic disorder and Anxiety since last year August 2021. I also have complicated grief after losing my mother October 2020.

I am doing everything my therapist said i should do. I am taking my medications, but i go up and down, on what feels sometimes like a rollercoaster. Feel sad like a pit in my gut, then the only thing that gives it some relief is when i cry. The medication does help.

I have been considering if i should try use the xanor sr again instead of lorazepam x 3 a day. Would that even me out. The last time i tried the Xanor SR 0,5mg i felt zonked out, but that was 4 months ago now. I was on xanor years ago without an issue, but this time when i had it, it wasn't a good experience. I need something that i can use and carry on with my life that doesn' t make me so tired. Every day feels like a new challenge.

I have started going on my mountain bike every second day, doing yoga once a week, i journal, i practise mindfulness - i am even at work right now - something i couldn't face for months. But i'll go home half day. I am trying what ever i can to snap my mind back to what it was pre relapse! I just don't know how long this will take and i'm so frustrated. I just want to be 'normal' and have this under control again.

I'm on 25mg ciift and the idea is to get to 30mg - will it help the depressed feelings? I have such a sensitive system that any change in medication seems to cause a reaction in me. I have to go super slow. I literally cut pieces of the tablet last night to try and increase slowly.

I needed to vent. Thank you for listening.

This is such a hard road. At times i freak out thinking i'll never be ok again.

The grief doesn't help.

0 likes, 2 replies

2 Replies

  • jan34534
    jan34534 nikkinakken

    Edited

    I am so sorry you are going through this. It must be very difficult for you. Remember that you are still grieving and that takes a toll on you. You’re doing a great job trying to take care of your health with yoga, etc. keep it up!give yourself credit because that is progress. You could even write that down in your journal. Write things down no matter how small they are that show your progress. That’s important. One of the first things I write in my journal every day are things that I am grateful for. Even if it’s small things that seem insignificant. I am grateful for my home, my food, etc. because there are people that have way less.

    this process takes time and there are days that are going to be better than other days. But the main thing to remember is to never ever give up! Don’t look too far into the future. Just take ONE day at a time .

    xanax it’s not meant to take for a long time. It’s a benzodiazepine and it can be addictive. You may be better off sticking with the medication’s that you have and discussing this with your doctor.

    When you feel super depressed, that’s the time to get out your journal and read the progress you have made in the things you are grateful for. And it’s OK to cry. remember that you will feel better, this is The journey to that.

    It may not be tomorrow, but it will come! one day you’ll look back and be glad that you kept putting 1 foot in front of the other no matter what. You can do it!

    there are some really great inspirational videos and meditations found on YouTube for depression, staying positive, never giving up, etc. there are hundreds of them! I listen to these every night when laying down to sleep and also sometimes during the day.do things that make you smile and laugh , pamper yourself because you deserve it. It’s great that you are in counseling. Take care of yourself!

  • kiri64646
    kiri64646 nikkinakken

    Posted

    i understand completely. i have been having major anxiety for the past three days and have not wanted to get out of bed - but i did went to work for half a day and then came home exhausted. i have also put my meds up to try and get back to normal. i have been really well for a year but am now back to anxiety and hopelessness again. back to meditation, writing in my diary. Im just so tired of the anxiety it really is a pain in the bum! u r not alone

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