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For about a year now, I've had anxiety when away from home. I went on holiday last year and my anxiety ruined it because I constantly felt sick and unwell. In the last 6 months it's gotten progressively worse and in the last couple of months, it's gotten really bad to the point where I'm at my wits end.
It's hard to explain really because it's not a social anxiety. I don't get
nervous around people, I don't have an anxiety where I don't like interacting even with strangers. I will gladly socialise with people. The problem is, mainly eating. I get quite anxious if I am away from home in an enclosed space so for example, on a bus/car/plane, in a cinema etc. And when it comes to eating out, I feel physically sick. I pick at food for fear of vomiting if I eat too much and every mouthful makes me feel worse and worse. I don't enjoy meals out like I used to. I dread them. My stomach churns, sometimes I get a really bad stomach and have to go to the toilet a number of times. And that's before I've even eaten anything. I used to be a really sociable person but now I make excuses not to go out and when I do got out, I have a miserable time.
I have a huge phobia of sick and being sick. I've always had it but it's gotten worse over the years. I think this is contributing to my anxiety. I get anxious that I will feel sick when I'm away from the comfort of my home (where, if I was sick, I would be alone and in familiar surroundings) and in turn, the anxiety itself makes me feel sick. It's like a never-ending cycle. I panic that other people will be sick around me too. If I'm with a friend and they say they don't feel well, I panic and start feeling sick too. I took my daughter to the cinema a couple of weeks ago and a child behind me started coughing a lot and I suddenly thought maybe she was going to be sick. I started panicking, my heart was pounding, I was sweating and going hot and cold and thought I was going to throw up so I had to leave and go to the toilets to calm myself down before going back and changing seats.
I know it's all in my head. If I was genuinely physically sick then it would be a constant thing, not something that only happened in certain environments. I haven't yet seen a doctor because I don't even know if I'll be taken seriously. I am going to Spain for 4 days with a friend next week and I am starting a new job soon after that. Two things that will send my anxiety out of control. I just want to be normal, to be able to have lunch with a friend, go for a couple of drinks, go out for the day without feeling sluggish and nauseous the whole time. Does anyone have any advice at all? Or had a similar problem? If so, what did you do?
Thanks in advance,
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