Anxiety when away from home?
Posted , 5 users are following.
Hello
I'm new here and this is my first post.
I'm 37 years old and upto about two years ago, never suffered from anxiety.
Now, whenever I stay away for the night from my house I have terrible anxiety, which involves going to the toilet all night long. I feel like the walls are closing in and I can feel the panic start to take over.
I'm currently in CBT and on Citoralpam, but do not think the tablets are doing anything after two months use.
Does anyone else suffer from the toilet issue when away from home?
It's currently 3:30AM and I'm sat in a holiday home in Cornwall in the front room, whilst my wife and daughter are fast asleep in the bedroom.
I feel so lonely and scared of going to the toilet again but I know it's coming.
Thanks for reading if anyone managed to get this far!
1 like, 23 replies
jacku16091 michael_34757
Posted
Good morning Micheal I hope you feeling a little better I woke up at 3am sweating my self convinced I going have heart attack my pulse was racing and my mind I had to take 2of my 2mg diazapam I got very scared I was texting my 2 daughters to see if they come me but wasn't awake but manage wake my sister in law up I drove to her house at 4am told her she said I fine but I told her no one understands I constantly worried about my health I got up set and had a cry as well I on citalapram now for 6 week I usually don't wake in in middle night panicking of sweating or heart racing so I scared now I have now come home and just lay on the bed I just took my citalapram as well I even scared taking them I convinced that this isn't just anxiety depression I feel it physical health my doctors say it not I had lots blood test in Feb all normal / I get pain and pressure right side head and burning ear same side on occasion which I been having in and of since Jan this year so I worry all day about that doctors say it nothing I just wish could have heart scan to no heart ok and my head and ear done even though I no I be a nervous wreck having them
Done as scared tests I get all worked up I feel
Will help me it so hard to believe this anxiety depression/ sorry to go on hope you feeling better
cia42277 jacku16091
Posted
Jacku, it hurts my heart to read of your pain. There are tears in my eyes. The reason that I am reacting so strongly is that I am going through the same thing right now, so I know where you are. For myself, I absolutely know and believe this is anxiety, and even that knowing doesn't stop the fear, physical stuff that I know isn't real and emotional devastation. I will hang in there, as I truly believe that one day I (and you) will be on the other side of this.
It is harder still since for the past week, I have been very well. Then BOOM. I will continue my practice to say to this awful mind talk, you aren't real, you are just thoughts, so shut up and get out. Also, I will continue to feed my body the best diet I can and hang on to the belief that I can, will and must do this.
Writing this to you has helped me, as I hope that your writing to others while in this state helps you. You nor I are alone. There are tens of thousands of others that don't have a forum to go to, and so are alone in that even friends and family don't understand. At least we all have each other, and I am so very grateful. Thank you for responding to Michael, so I could respond to you and in doing do, help myself. Goodnight, dear Jacku
richard89308 michael_34757
Posted
michael_34757 richard89308
Posted
Hi Richard
It's too early to tell yet. Only had a few sessions. Has been good talking about things though.
Thanks for replying
helen20833 michael_34757
Posted
Fear is the most unpleasant emotion and one of the hardest to overcome.
It is quite natural, when suffering from what appears to be anxiety disorder, to feel the need for the toilet. Please, please do not let this frighten you. Ask yourself, does it really matter if you need the bathroom all the time? Sitting worrying over it, agonizing over it will merely make your need for the toilet worse. Try to laugh about it, no easy thing I know, but when the need arises say to yourself, Oh, here we go again! And smile. It's not life endangering, it's merely annoying and anxiety induced.
You sound as though you are in the first stages of agoraphobia, anxiety taking over you when not in the safety of your own home. You need to get a hold of this and try again to see it for what it is, merely anxiety induced. Yes, it's nasty and panic is a terrible feeling. But, nothing will happen to you. That is the first step, reassuring yourself that whatever vile symptoms you might be feeling on the inside, on the outside you look normal because you are normal. You will not pass out, embarrass yourself. You are quite safe. Your heart might appear to beat a little faster, your legs might tremble and the need for the toilet might raise it's ugly head. All part and parcel of anxiety disorder. The more you listen in to your symptoms, the worse you will feel. Just go with the, accept them and their grip on you will loosen!
Good luck!
michael_34757 helen20833
Posted
Thanks Helen
My CBT therapist thinks I'm on the cusp of agrophobia, but wants to treat for social anxiety.
The thing is when I read things, they make perfect sense and I know you are right, but the brain doesn't want to listen. It's the second night here and I'm already starting to feel it coming and it's only half six.
Thanks for replying
helen20833 michael_34757
Posted
Sometimes I re-read things for reassurance. It helps because as you say, the brain doesn't always listen.
I have, at times, been reduced to talking to my symptoms, not out loud I hasten to add, no need for the men in the white coats just yet...but for iinstance, when my eyesight blurs I say to it, You here again? How long are you going to hang around this time, huh? Why don't you just **** off! Interestingly, it appears to dissipate quicker.
Peeing, forgive my bluntness. I could turn it into an Olympic event when my anxiety is at its worst. Cry me a river? I could piddle one, no problem. I could create a lake in a day without breaking into a sweat. If I go anywhere, I have to have a mental vision of accessibility to toilets...either that or be reduced to wearing pampmers
Legs. I leave the house on two sound legs. I have nice legs. Shapely legs. They are my pride and joy. Five minutes later and they have disappeared! I suddenly have two strings of wobbling spaghetti holding me up!
Head.
I have a head just like anyone else. But there are times when it metamorphises into a balloon..it is light....it makes me feel faint...Now I've got nothing below my hips holding me up and nothing above my neck weighing me down.
So you see anxiety sucks. But, I have never passed out, never peed in public, never had a heart attack, never run down the street tearing out my hair and screaming ( Well, I say never but there was that time my eldest son left home but that's another story
My firstborn leaving home! AAAGGGH!)
No good looking at other people, judging them to be "normal" and wishing you were like them. Who knows what goes on inside of them? No one.
Your anxiety is yours, like a nasty neighbour, an vile relative. How you approach and deal with it is important. It's not easy not to let it frighten you. It might make you feel helpless. But you're not. Accept it's there, distract yourself and not be paralyzed by the fear it tries to overcome you with. Curse it, laugh at it and good luck
My heart goes out to you.
cia42277 helen20833
Posted
Helen, I just love reading your replies, not only right on but with wit and compassion. We are all very fortunate to have you here with us. I find that by reading other people's replies to someone else, I get more insight myself. Sooooo thank you for being here and being you.
helen20833 cia42277
Posted
Aw, what a lovely thing to say! Thank you. We are all in the same boat here, aren't we? But if we all stay together and row like hell, we won't sink! A big hug to each and everyone posting here. United we stand, right? Even if it is on wobbly legs......
cia42277 helen20833
Posted
As they said in the '60's, right on.
Anxy michael_34757
Posted
Hi mike. Yes I too get the trotts! Everything in my body goes right through me which then starts another fear of wanting not to go anywhere or take any uncertain trips. Even my excitement is turning to fear. That horrible bubbling in the pit of my stomach. And on holiday it's worse. I look around at people drinking and eating and I try to act normal and do same but my stomach won't allow it. I feel like a frightened animal. It's just awful bt thank you for sharing! At least we know we're not alone!
cia42277 michael_34757
Posted
It sounds like helen has hit this nail squarely on the head. These are just thoughts and not real. I do laugh at myself when I catch myself believing what my mind is saying. It's just not real.
As of a few years ago there were 20,000,000 people just in one country (the US) suffering with anxiety disorders. I had the stats on the UK but can't find them right now. It seems to be pandemic in the world. If this were a physical problem, you better bet more people would understand it better and something would be being done.
Every one of us is dealing with the same things you are. Be encouraged that you are not alone!!! Forums like are popping up all over the internet. I have run into 8 others just by accident. Looking them over, it seems to me that the people on this site are amazingly helpful, knowledgeable, and compassionate. I also like the fact that they monitor questions and especially replies. Not all of the others do that. You have come to the right place.
I particularly likes Helen's suggestion of saying, Oh here we go again. also, it's a great pun...here we go again. Get it? Be encouraged and soldier on.
michael_34757 cia42277
Posted
cia42277 michael_34757
Posted
You are very welcome. Just a minute or two ago, I was headed for the bathroom for the third time in just 5 minutes. I found myself chuckling and saying outloud to myself, "here we go again."
Now I am going to email my sister, as she has these multiple trips also, will share what I think of as your phrase, given to all of us by Helen. What a hoot!
helen20833 cia42277
Posted
Are you like that at night? I go to the bathroom then climb into bed. Soon as I hit the mattress? I have to go again...later I am all comfy, snugglyI.m dozing... I'm on a date with a famous film star ( shame on me at my age!) Just as he stares adorngly at me over the dinner table I have to "go" again!
By the time I get back into bed and stick my head under the duvet said film star is gone and the only thing I'm dreaming about is having to get up in the middle of the night again...ah well....
cia42277 helen20833
Posted
Yes, sometimes. I find that sometimes I think I'm done and by the time I get out the bathroom door, have to go again, I finally got the clue, and now I stay a little longer and focus on letting go, also shifting positions and voila, there is more! This has helped a lot. My sister told me she had the same experience and does the same thing now.
As we get older our innards shift. By waiting, focusing and particularly changing positions we truly empty out.
I am laughing out loud. This ain't no place for being "discrete" is it? Or shy. We just let it all hang out. Now I am really laughing...tears in the eyes laughing. Hope this helps, Helen. Keep in touch
helen20833 cia42277
Posted
I shall try that! Thanks
I'll do that man thing, you know, take a newspaper into the bathroom with me....and who knows, I might one night be able to conclude my "date" with handsome film star, lol.
As for keeping in touch, I am not, as you doubtless will have observed, backwards in coming forwards.
Discretion? Nah, gave that up years ago. It's so frightfully boring. Far more fun to, as you say, let it all hang out...Not that I've got much to hang out
I'm a lean, mean ole has been.
cia42277 helen20833
Posted
helen20833 cia42277
Posted
I have peculiar tastes but then I am a peculiar person...I vacillate between Mark Rylance, an odd choice and an even odder choice, James Nesbitt, neither will win awards for handsomeness but there is something...sigh, aw shucks
I'm a closet slut....help!!!!!
cia42277 helen20833
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Oh, is that you in here with me? Move over a little gir,l I want to pull the James Bond Sean Connery in were with us.
helen20833 cia42277
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helen20833
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As you will observe, I don't do discretion and I don't do moderation either
cia42277 helen20833
Posted