Anxiety with panic attacks and fear of allergic reaction and anaphylaxis

Hi all.After years of fighting with anxiety I really feel like it's winning.

I have no help from anyone and basically I feel like everyone feels like I am mad/overacting etc.

I will try to cut long story as short as possible.

I am 29 y o.Polish orygin but based in UK since 2009.

I am mum of 1 lovely boy and I work full time as qualified dementia carer.

My health and mental health issues started early..

As a child I was diagnosed with asthma,few times emergency had to be called as I could not breathe,inhalors,1 year in special outpatient day care hospital,bronchoscopy at age of 7.Somehow I grown out of it but at 10yo gp check up they found out I have severe scoliosis.I had surgery at age of 13,made brilliant recovery etc.All was fine until around 17th birthday when I decided to start diet.I developed anorexia which with wrong treatment turned into bulimia but it's not about it.

I have family story of mental health issues,maternal great grandfather was schizophrenic my mother suffers from hell knows as they cannot diagnose her,she had postpartum psychosis after having my Lil sis as well.

Years ago as they didn't have ed group near me they offered me anxiety group participation.I remember then I thought I am bloody lucky as this is a real s*** not my vomiting 8 times a day.

But...well while I was pregnant 5 years ago I made as much as I could to get over it for sake of my baby and I kind of did.I only suffer from compulsive overeating,well only.I am quite fit,full time working,looking happy person..but I cannot cope.

It started 4 years ago when my son was a baby,I had to have root canal done,dentist accidentally sprayed some of painkiller in mybthroat,also it was I guess 1st time I had injection as I have high pain tolerance level and never requested it.

It ended horrible,my pulse went mad,I started shaking and sweating and could not breathe..I don't remember how I left dental practice..and since then it started...without a reason,tightness in my chesst,feeling like I am going to suffocate,high pressure in my ears,cold sweaty hands etc...after half a year struggling I went to my old psychiatrist in Poland,she prescribed me afobam (alprozolanum) 0,25 in case of emergency and lowest dose of tritticco.I forgot to mention I cannot take antidepressants as they have reverse effect on me and I feelING detached.

Afobam worked magic but is so addictive I decided to ease off and stop,same with other with had lots of side effects.During this I developed mild ocd but I could handle.Somehow panic attacks were over and I could function normally until next time at dentist.Same thing happened and same circle but without med but somehow it eased down in few weeks...again I was fine till now.I recently started having fear of allergic reactions...I told myself that this thing at dentist it was that even though I know they use adrenalin and you cannot be allergic to it.And slowly I became scared of any new food,med etc,as soon as I see anaphylaxis in side effects I get panic attac,it got much worse on holidays my mother is not in good state,it was horrible as she can be very hurting us then,I had stressful time at work,cold,all in one and last month I am in state of almost permanent panic attacks...most of the time I cannot breathe,my chest feels tight,I cannot swallow.But huge problem occurred yesterday,my dentist found that under root canal I developed tooth abcess and it will need to be removed.In order to be removed it needs to be numbed-so this will happen again,worse thing I was prescribed antybiotics,I took 5th dose and I keep looking for allergic reaction,I am freaking out and I am at the point I cannot pretend I am fine,my partner things I am f****up he said I will end up mad as my mother...I kept crying since yesterday even my son saw and got upset,I keep having hot flushes my eyes are itching and I am all the time expecting I will get anaphylaxis and die...and no one will know even me as I won't recognize it from panic attack....I really have enough I kero crying I have another visit next week to remove this tooth and really don't know how will I cope.My body is feeling sick as I have been in this anxiety state last week's but I am always looking for sth else...I am sorry it's so long and chaotic but first time really I tell about it((((

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