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I am now 29 years old, with a boyfriend I love so dearly and is very good, supportive and respectful to me, but I have no sex drive and still have issues with anxiety and depression I try to solve. Here is my story, and I am hoping for your advice as I do not know what to do.
Early last year, I ended a destructive relationship (he was violent but did not physically hurt me), family members took their life (we have depression running in the family and I have lost a few to suicide which I was very close to), I was bullied at work, later resigned, and ended up in the end this spring of 2016 with the diagnose depression/anxiety and started to avoid everyone, both family and friends and I did not leave home. I had no income and it quickly got expensive to not have a job which was an added stressfactor to add to the nothingness I was now feeling.
A few years previous, I was known to be the most sparkly and happy person around and was often referred to as "sunshine!" for spreading positive energy. That was not me anymore though. Now I was a robot with no feelings at all. I also started to lightly think about suicide.
At this point, I reach out for help to my parents, and given the family history they immediately took me under their wings and had me move into their house as they did not want me to be isolated alone and thinking about suicide.
I spent a few months in their house, tried a couple of psychologists but did not find a good one, I also tried some medication for my anxiety buy that only made me nose anxious so I stopped taking them, I also took medication to enable me to sleep, but they did not work as they only made me restless and not able to sleep, so I stopped taking them.
I am now sort of self medicating and came across this website, thought I would reach out to like minded people.
I am now trying my best to be in a loving relationship, but as I have not sorted out all my messy past, I still have difficulties feeling some of the basic feelings: like sex drive. I am now worried and anxious that my boyfriend will leave me as I am unable to express such a simple thing as sex. I want to have sex with him, but my body does not respond to what I used to like.
Anyone who can relate to loosing basic emotions like this? I could really use some help!
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