Anxious when feel I should be happy

Posted , 5 users are following.

First time of posting. I feel generalised anxiety all the time. I over worry about things happening to people I love and feeling I may become ill. I live alone, widowed, retired, I think lonely, certainly have too much time to think. Try to do more, get out and about but when I do this I feel ill with IBS, stress feelings etc.. Anyone out there feeling like this??

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12 Replies

  • Posted

    You are doing the best thing keep active , but don't wear yourself out, I worry abt being ill all the time and it is awful, I used to write my feelings down it helped me , don't forget u r not alone in this xx
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  • Posted

    Hi, Jenny:  You are certainly not alone in being anxious and feeling all alone.  Try to get with friends, and even for a few minutes each day try your best to put your scared feelings in the back of your mind.  Little by little you will begin to get better.  If you are young and healthy, there is no reason to believe you are going to drop over dead.  Try to look ahead, and not concentrate on the inner you.  Do some breathing exercises....Breathe in...hold 10 seconds..let it out slowly from your mouth...hope this helps, sweetie...
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  • Posted

    Hi jenny this is my first time too but I know how you feel I am exactly the same in fact I do not go far from home as I worry that I am going to have problems with my stomach.i have a cancer phobia and it's always bowel cancer that I fear.sorry I'm not much help but you know you are not alone.
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    • Posted

      Hi Carol You are very helpful in just replying to my post. The feeling that everyone else is coping makes you feel so alone so it's good to share fears and feelings. When your stomach is hurting it is so central to your wellbeing that it is easy to fear cancer. One thing I tell myself is that I have had these pains for a long time and I'm still here. That helps a bit. I hope this helps as you have helped me. Thank you
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  • Posted

    Thankyou Jenny I agree it is good to know you are not alone, and I tell myself the same thing about the pain . I'm going throug a bad patch of it at the moment and I am really struggling. Thankyou for your reply.
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    • Posted

      Hi Carol. I'm sorry you are going through a bad patch and are struggling.. I have the following up on wall: "Just when I was getting to grips with yesterday, along came today"  Also  " We experience moments absolutely free from worry, these brief respites are called panic!!"  Hope maybe these help and you feel some respite that isn't panic. Take care 

       

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  • Posted

    Take yourself on a retreat somewhere. They have qigong retreats. Meditation retreats. Maybe one of them will bring you relieve and happiness and a nice place to meet new people.
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  • Posted

    This is my first time of posting too. I also feel anxious all the time when I go out.. I have just left a good job because I lacked the confidence, felt I was being judged and therefore kept getting what I call 'brain freeze'. I have lived most of my life feeling I am being judged by everyone, family included. The only place I feel in control is with my husband at home with my 2 dogs. Although I love people and also used to feel something terrible was going to happen to my 2 daughters. Have you tried going out but making up an excuse to leave when you feel dodgy. Living an outside life but with your limitations. I find that if I push myself too far everything crashes around my ears but if I socialize with 1 person at a time, family included, I can keep in control of my emotions. My dogs have a calming effect on me - have you thought about getting one, you won't feel so alone then.

    I could go on for ages about why I think I got to where I am now but that won't help you.

    Hope I have helped. Please contact me if you want to.

    Kind regards Jackie

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    • Posted

      Thanks so much. I have a cat who does help. I think your advice about limiting your social things is very good and will try to do that. Sometimes I feel like not arranging anything in case I feel bad but think what you suggest is better. Its difficult to let people down though and you wonder if they really understand. It is, as you rightly say, the pushing yourself though. If I can pace my day, week etc.. it's not so bad but then sometimes the unexpected crops up and I immediately think I'm anxious about that because I hadn't allowed for that. I'm sure you get what I'm saying. Thanks so much for your post, extremely helpful. If you want to say more about your story I'd be happy to listen. It's tough.  All the best and thanks Jenny
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  • Posted

    Glad I can help. You sometimes feel you are the only one in the world that is 'odd'. I used to be very outgoing and still am but only for a very short period of time - I find it very draining, I feel like I am being judged all the time. All my life people have thought I am very confident, even my children (I was a single parent, my first husband cleared off, then I had a difficult relationship with someone who was an alcholic. All emotional problems take the stuffing right out of you.. Being outgoing was an act, one which I can no longer do. Some people including my family think I have changed. I have but not by choice. The most important thing is to do what is emotionally 'safe' for you!. At the end of the day you have to survive emotionally. Always be ready with an escape route, even if it is a lie. Sometimes honesty is not always the best policy.

    I would like to be much more confident but I never have been just hid it well. But alas no more, I haven't got the strength. You are still a very nice person, stop analysing yourself - I use to do it all the time, and still do sometimes, worrying about what people think!

    I have been like this for 14 years now and have had counselling which did help but at the end of the day nothing really changes, you just get it all off your chest. The lovely lady counseller I had for a while told me that I was a lovely person and told me to accept who I am now and not to keep beating myself up over it. You must try and get into that mind-set too. If people don't like it when you say you are leaving early or just not going to a function then it is their problem not yours.

    I still work but same days it is a real struggle. I sometimes think I could easily become a recluse!!! I have just given up a good job because of my lack of confidence but again I hid it well. My one wish is that my family fully understood.

    Well I have waffled on for long enough, mostly about me. Oh dear sorry. I know I sound hard but believe me that is the last thing I am these days. I guess I have learnt not to push myself too far and neither must you.

    Please contact me if you wish. Take care

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    • Posted

      Thanks so much for your post. You make some really good points. The draining feeling is so accurate. When you put on this show and have a good time with people they do not realise the after effects for you. People say to me "You coped really well today" with the expectation that that will make you feel better for next time. For me it doesn't work that way. Like you say it is a case of pacing yourself to do what you can realistically do. You are doing so well, even if you don't think so yourself, and I wish you all the best. You have such a clear understanding of what anxiety is. All the best
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