Any advice appreciated

Posted , 2 users are following.

Hi folks,

Im personally not diagnosed with anything so im hoping that doesn't make me an imposter. To give you some details, im incredibly shy and definitely consider myself socially anxious, and feel this has turned into depression. Im now 30 years old and feel I have very little prospects, I have done various warehouse jobs in the past but have also had long periods of unemployment. I believe things should be taken one step at a time, so for now my main focus is to try and get a job. I suppose my question is if there is any support for people with depression to find work? not being diagnosed would obviously make this difficult, but maybe being going for counselling would be a benefit, like are there any organisations that can make going into a job easier.

There are other difficulties im facing, i've isolated myself from family other than immediate, my social circle has pretty much disappeared, im still living at home and to be completely honest I find it difficult to make myself accountable for my time at all. For just over a year and a half I have been clean of alcohol and cannabis so I atleast give myself credit for that, I just find it incredibly hard to see myself getting out of the rut i've created.

Apologies if i've rambled on or ask a silly question. I don't mean to write negatively as I actually do have a determination and a willing to help myself. As I say, any advice would be appreciated and hopefully i'll be able to return the favour.

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  • Posted


    It can be difficult to find a job when you have been out of work for a long time but your local jobcentre should be able to help you to find work. It may mean that you will have to do some unpaid work to begin with.

    It may also be a good idea to try volunteering somewhere whilst trying to find a job, even if it's just one day a week. It may give you more success when applying for jobs to show that you are willing to work if you have done some volunteering. I have done volunteering in the past and it helped me to get a paid job.

    I am not sure about any specific support for people with depression to find work, but there's no harm in asking at the jobcentre.

    Have you tried talking to a doctor about how you have been feeling? They may be able to refer you for counselling for your anxiety and depression.

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  • Posted

    Hi itsofluffy, and thank you for the reply. Voluntary work is something that I have considered, some time ago I completed an ECDL computer course with the idea of going into admin or data entry. I've found it very difficult to get work in this field as I have no experience, so the voluntary route could be the route I'm looking for. The problem I'm having though is feeling comfortable in work setting, even though I've completed a course I still feel I wouldn't be competent enough to do the job. There's also the feeling of being socially inadequate, but I suppose you only learn through trying.

    As for counselling, it is something I'm thinking about. I find the idea of it really intimidating though. There is

    a support group near me that you have to be assessed for, I believe its cbt based so maybe worth a shot

    especially as you don't need a referral for it. Would be great to know what it would entail beforehand though.

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  • Posted

    Hi, no problem smile.

    I understand how you feel saying that you don't feel that you would be competent enough, I had these worries about going to university eventhough I did really well in my A levels. I think counselling would definately help you, it could help build up your confidence so that you can believe that you can do the job, which I am sure you can smile as you have had jobs before. It would also give you more confidence in yourself and help you get rid of your fear that you are socially inadequate.

    That support group sounds great, you should definately give it a try. If you go and you find that it's not right for you then you can just leave, but it would be good to give it a try.

    I'm not able to give you any experiences of counselling or cbt yet as I am still to receive mine, my GP referred me for counselling but there was a long waiting list for counselling on NHS. I am sure there are lots of people on here though who have had counselling or cbt, maybe do a post asking if anyone can help you answer your questions about cbt.

    Good luck smile

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  • Posted

    i genuinely wish to help you, and i hope what i say will not sound outlandish or strange, i say it because i so strongly believe in it that it surpasses my fear of online scrutiny from others.

    i read through many forums on depression, and i enjoy seeing the changes people while i try to help as much as possible. let me give it to you in straightforward terms.

    Humans have been roaming the earth for thousands of millennia, roughly 6 thousand thousand years since divergence from primate-like ancient ancestors. for the duration of that enormous amount of time, humans became extremely adept at survival. one of the main modes of transportation and survival that we used to obtain food and achieve safety was through long distance travel. we did not have claws nor powerful jaws, nor were we quick. but we were able to lope about at a brisk pace for prolonged periods of time. we have such a vast amount of adaptations reflecting this theory that it would be rather foolish to not accept it. we sweat, lost our body hair (to more efficiently cool ourselves through sweating), move about bi-pedally, and so much more, so that we could efficiently and effectively hunt four legged animals that after several hours of galloping, could not cool down, and would overheat and die. we had no tools nor weapons, only our hands and teeth, and not until around 1.8 MYA were even the first stone tools aka rocks, used to kill anything, the bow was not invented until 40,000 years ago. humans ran, and they ran, and they ran, and they ran some more.

    Fast forward to modern day, where we sit in offices all day and at most get a few hours of exercise a week, can you see where im heading with this? the clear picture is this: humans are good at some things, and designed for them, and when you depart from that which we have evolved to do for millions of years, you get problems. there are so many details and things you may not understand from what i present, but understand this: You need to exercise, and by exercise, i mean run. and you need to run correctly, the way our human ancestors did it, with little to no shoes whatsoever. if you do this, i can guarantee you that your depression will go away. your brain releases a marvelous concoction of chemicals that are an adaptive trait humans evolved to help them cope with the long and painful bouts of exercise. you may have heard of them, they are called endorphins. they are chemically identical with opiates, IE: heroin, morphine, euphoria-inducing drugs. the drugs mentioned above are found in nature from the poppy plant, but are naturally produced in your brain to alleive depression, pain, hunger, anxiety, sadness, and have such a profound impact on the psyche that you may wonder why you've never tried this before! the "runners high", is what you get, the bath of well-being inducing chemicals that bathe your brain every time you exercise for prolonged periods of time(an hour or so at least). people who run regularly and eat normal food (food that humans were eating for the last several million years) are much happier and healthier and upbeat and NEVER, NEVER have i met a person who runs long distance regularly and adheres to this lifestyle who has depression. it just doesnt happen, because they stick to what they are designed to do. you dont buy a car and let it sit in your garage so that you can play with its lights, or open its doors, or inflate and deflate its tires, you buy it so that you can drive it.

    i want you to go and buy a pair of minimalist shoes, that allow your foot to function the way its evolved to function, not thick heeled shoes that cause injuries. your feet are not born weak or broken, they are an evolutionary marvel that da vinci himself wondered at in awe. large shoe companies make lots of money on the false idea that your foot is broken and you need man made devices that have been invented barely 30 years ago for them to work correctly.

    i want you to go out and jog an easy mile. then wait a few days. when youre not sore, go jog another, then after a week go jog a mile and a half. EASE INTO IT! your feet are weak and soft from wearing shoes your whole will take several months. before long, you will be running like homo erectus, and loving life.

    do it for yourself, do it for your life.


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  • Posted


    If you are socially anxious there is a really good website run by Australia University called I would recommend it as it helps you with negative thoughts and feelings. It is free you just register online and do the course until the end. It does not take long but you can keep going back to it if you feel low again. It may boost your confidence.

    Also try to push your boundaries by joining a local group that interests you and try meeting some new friends

    Good Luck


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