ANY ADVICE HELP PLEASE ?

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CAN ANYONE HELP PLEASE ?   IVE NEVER WRITTEN IN A DISCUSSION BEFORE AND NOT VERY EDUCATED SO PLEASE EXCUSE MISTAKES ETC, IVE SUFFERED FROM ANXIOUSNESS SINCE CHILDHOOD BUT ONLY DIAGNOSED AT AGE OF 31 WHEN SPLIT UP WITH TEENAGE SWEETHEART , WAS TAKEN INTO HOSPITAL FOR DEPRESSION AND THEY DIAGNOSED IMMEDIATELY MY GENERALISED ANXIETY DISORDER WHICH EXPLAINED A LOT OF AVOIDENC BEHAVIORS THROUGH MY LIFE ,I HAVE BEEN ON DIFFERENT MEDICATIONS FOR APPROX 16 YEARS NOW, BEFORE CHRISTMAS I WAS TAKING INTO HOSPITAL WITH PANIC ATTACKS THEY LET ME OUT AFTER A MONTH ON I DONT KNOW WHAT MEDICATION BUT I WAS ONLY OUT ABOUT A WEEK AND CRISIS TEAM TOOK ME BACK IN AND I WAS SECTIONED FOR 4 MONTHS, I CANT EXPLAIN EVERYTHING OBVIOUSLY IN MY LIFE BUT STAY ALONE AND IN LAST 3 YEARS LOST BOTH MY MOTHER AND FATHER, SINCE MY FATHER PASSED AWAY LAST APRIL I HAVE ONLY WENT OUT HOUSE WHEN NECISSARY AND WAS CRYING ALMOST EVERY DAY , ANYHOW TO CUT A LONG STORY SHORT IM OUT OF HOSPITAL ON A COCKTAIL OF TABLETS SOMEONE KNOWLEDGEABLE MAY PLEASE BE ABLE TO HELP AS I FEEL AWFULL , NO HOPE, OST IN LIFE, SELF HATRED, STILL ANXIOUS AND SO DEPRESSED AT TIMES FEEL SUICIDAL, FEEL A WEIRDO CURTAINS CLOSED ALWAYS STAYING IN ETC, IS THERE ANYONE WHO CAN TELL ME PLEASE AS TIME IN HOSPITAL THE DOCTORS CHANGED ABOUT 4 TIMES, NOW IM ON DRUGS CALLED

MIRTAZIPINE 30MG EVENING

DIAZAPAM 10 MG FOUR TIMES A DAY

QUETIAPINE 100MG EVENING

QUEITIPINE 25MG MORNING LUNCH AND EVENING

FLUOXETINE 60MG IN MORNING

PREGABALIN 200MG 3 TIMES A DAY

PROPRANOLOL 80MG IN MORNING

WHEN I WENT IN HOSPITAL INITIALLY THEY MADE A MISTAKE OF CUTTING MY DIAZAPAM TO ZERO AFTER BEING ON 60 MG FOR 13 YRS THEN 40MG FOR 4 YEARS, THE DR THOUGHT ID JUST BEEN ON IT 3 MONTHS THEN LET ME HOME AND DIDNT KNOW WHERE I WAS WAS TAKING BACK IN SEEN BY A DIFFERENT LADY DR WHO RECOMMENDED ECT THEN SHE LEFT GOT A JAMACIN DR WHO CHANGED MY MEDS I SLEPT IN HOSPITAL FOT FIRST MONTH THEY GAVE ME THEM IN BED, I WAS THEN TAKEN TO GENERAL HOSPITAL OVERNIGHT FOR CHECK OVER AS LOST WEIGHT ANYHOW JAMACAIN DR LEFT THEN ANOTHER OVER 3 MONTHS BUILT ME UP AND LET ME HOME ON THE ABOVE, I FEEL AWFULL, I TOLD THEM THAT BUT THEY SAID SAY ON IT, I GOT A CPN VISIT ONCE WHEN I GOT HOME AND HE NEVER CAME AGAIN, FOR ONCE I WOULD LIKE SOME ADVICE AS IVE ALWAYS TOOK WHAT DR HAS PRESCRIBED BUT I FEEL ALMOST SUICIDAL ON ABOVE, I SLEEP THROUGH AND MISS DOSES CAN SLEEP 20 HOURS DONT WANT TO AWAKE WHEN AWAKE JUST WANT TO GO BACK TO SLEEP, I KNOW I HAVE TO TRY DEAL WITH THE ANXIETY , ITS ONLY THING THATS STOPPED I HAVENT HAD A PANIC ATTACK BUT NOT LEFT HOME, FEEL A WEIRDO, USELESS, GUILT, LOST IN LIFE NOW, HARDLY KNOW WHAT DY IT IS, FEEL SEDATED ALL THE TIME, HATE MYSELF , EVEN FEEL I DESERVE THIS TORTURE AND PUNISHMENT IM ENDURING, NOT GOT 1 FRIEND IN THE WORLD, DONT WANT TO SEE OR TALK TO ANYONE, WHATS UP WITH ME ???  IS THERE ANYONE COULD TELL ME IF ANY OF ABOVE DRUGS COULD BE FEEDING THE DEPRESSION I COULD CUT DOWN ON AS BEFORE I WENT IN HOSP I WAS ONLY ON 4 DIAZAPAM A DAY AND A DIFFERENT ANTI DEPRESSANT ? THIS IS FIRST TIME IVE SAT UP FROM LAYING POSITION FEEL THE LAZIEST PERSON IN WORLD BEATING MYSELF UP OVER EVERYTHING IN LIFE, THE TEARS HAVE STOPPED BUT NT THE EMMOTIONS I WANT TO CRY, I KNOW I HAVE TO PUT MY ANXIETY DEPRESSION AND BERIEVEMENT ALL IN ORDER AND I DONT KNOW HOW OR WHERE TO START, SUFFERING FROM VIVID NITEMARES YET WHEN I AWAKE I JUST WANT TO GO BACK TO SLEEP AND GOD FORGIVE ME WISH I WERE DEAD.........IS ALL THE FEELINGS JUST ME BEING DEPRESSED OR COULD ANY OF THE ABOVE BE MAKING IT WORSE AS I FEEL A ZOMBIE ON EVERYTHING, DONT SHOWER NOTHING, COULD ANYONE PLEASE TELL ME IF ANY OF THE ABOVE I COULD CUT DOWN ON ? I DONT KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT DRUGS JUST ALWAYS BELIEVED WHAT DR PRESCRIBED WOULD BE RIGHT BUT I  CANT CARRY ON LIKE THIS, IN HOSPITAL THEY WOKE ME IN BED WITH MEDICATION AND SAID DRINK PLENTY WATER AND BACK TO SLEEP AGAIN NOW IM HOME IM SLEEPING THROUGH DOSES NOT KNOWING WHETHER TO CATCH UP OR NOT TAKE ETC, I FEEL LOST I CANT EXPLAIN , I WOULD BE VERY GRATEFULL ON WHAT TO CUT DOWN ON JUST TO GET UP OUT OF BED I HAVE TO KEEP BLISTER PACK IN BED AS IM NEVER UP TO EVEN PUT ON A TV RADIO ETC, NO INTEREST IN NOTHING, NOT EVEN LOOKING FOR ENJOYMENT JUST 1 BIT OF NORMALITY, IS THERE ANYONE BEEN ON ABOVE ANY OF THE DRUGS THATS MADE THEM FEEL THIS TERRIBLE THAT I COULD STOP ????  ANY HELP WOULD BE VERY GREATFULL? I DONT KNOW IF JUST ME BUT IT SEEMS A VERY LOT TO TAKE ? MORNING , 12 NOON, 6 O CLOCK AND BEDTIME?   THANKYOU VERY MUCH WITH KINDEST REGARDS  

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  • Posted

    Hi Neil

    I'm sorry to hear you're going through this rough time in your life. Know you're not alone. There are many others like you and I who suffer different degrees of depression and anxiety.

    Firstly I would suggest you seek other advice from another doctor...all those meds don't seem right. You are living like a drugged up zombie. That's no way to live. I also suggest you to inquire about seeing a Psychotherapist, Psychologist or Psychiatrist.

    Don't just stop ur meds as that could be dangerous to your health and well being. But I think they would have to take u safely off some of those drugs bc sleeping 20 hours isn't normal. Once you get on a good track and dose of meds that don't make u feel these ways...cognitive therapy and exercise would benefit you. Exercise helps release serotonin and would increase endorphins.

    Don't give up. Reaching out is the first step. Find another doctor and get on a waiting list to see a specialist.

    Keep in touch. And stay strong. You're not alone.

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    • Posted

      sANDIE I THINK THIS IS THE REPLY TO YOURSELF, IM SO SORRY FOR YOUR CIRCUMSTANCES AND THANKYOU SO MUCH FOR THE KIND WORDS I WILL TRY REMEMBER WHAT YOU SAID STAY STRONG EVEN THOUGH IVE ALWAYS BEEN  A WEAKLING AND COWADLY, I MEAN MY ANXIETY WAS SEVERE IVE HAD 2 SPELLS IN LAST 15 YRS OF NOT LEAVING HOUSE, 1 FOR 2 YEARS AND ONCE FOR 15 MONTHS , MAYBE ITS THEIR ONLY WAY OF STOPPING THE PANIC ATTACKS AS WHEN I HAVE THEM I DONT KNOW WHERE I AM AND TERRIFIED ,MAYBE THIS COCKTAIL WILL STOP THEM AS ON 3 DIFFERENT BETA BLOCKERS THEY SAID HELP ANXIETY TOO, I GUESS AFTER ALL THESE YEARS ITS MAYBE THE ONLY WAY TO STOP IT IS TO DULL THE PERSON ALSO AS SEEN SP MANY STORIES OF PEOPLE TRIED EVERYTHING FOR THEM ,AT LEAST I NEVER GOT ECT GOT A FRIGHT WHEN THEY WERE PREPARING IT FOR ME  NOT THAT IM AGAINST IT I NEVER HAD A CLUE AND WAS GETTING PREPARED FOR IT AND BOOKED IN BUT THEY CHANGED THEIR MINDS WHEN ANOTHER DR LEFT ..... I HOPE YOU ARE DOING OK THERE SANDI AND YOUR GOING THROUGH THE MILL YOU STICK IN THEIR TOO PLS  X
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    • Posted

      Yes of course any advice I give would also be beneficial for myself as I am too, an anxiety sufferer. Over the years I have had to take medical leave of absence from work due to the severity of it. I've currently been off work for 4 months and going to attempt to go back p/t soon. I do enjoy work and staying busy. Helps keep the focus off the fear/anxiety however being stressed doesn't help so much.

      Just focus on you and getting the proper care. I just felt that all these meds you're on seem so tranquilizers and it's sad how you can't even enjoy a full day.

      Hope things work out and get better for you.

      Sandi

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  • Posted

    Hi Neil,

    Do you have a therapist or a counsellor or someone who is trained to help?

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  • Posted

    no, they said when i got back home i would get a cpn and occupational therapist atc and help in the community after being sectioned for over 4 months, no even longer and theyre reason being it was because i stayed alone and had no support at home and unfit to look after myself, ive been out nearly 4 weeks i seen a cpn about 2 days after i got home he arranged an appointment for the next week and never came and ive just slept depressed since taking all these meds, im sorry i dont know how or if this will reply but like to thankSandi for your lovely comforting words too, i think thing that got to me was a dr had an appoint with me for 5 mins once a week while i was in hosp and said i dont know what to do and pulled out a large file and said this is file 3 of 3 and dont have time to look through them all as i understand too many patients, more or less saying we have tried everything now,  thats why well part of why ive gave up, then another dr changed my meds then he left and next one left and i never even knew i was in for first month, i couldnt have left the room , i think maybe they have tried everything for my anxiety but bloodpressure was that high ad heartrate i had to be taken to general hospital so maybe its just ive to put up with the depression over the intense fear of panic? i dont know , im sorry not good at computer to be honest ive not taken some of my tablets today and thats a record ive been up 7 hours and even turning on the computer and using was is confusing, when i take all my meds making a simple cup of coffee is a chore i loose the coffee jar or t spoon or pour water in cold etc, i was more compassmentass before going in hospital, i feel less fit to look after my lovely home of 16 years now than before i went in , i came home to a hallway of christmas cards and mail, i couldnt handle it and put the lot in the bin,im worried sick with everything now, only a little part of me today tonight that turned on my computer and looked up is still want to fight it but prob when have to take meds this morning then 12 and 6 i will be staggering and zonk out ,i think last weekend i went to bed on fri and woke up on sunday after friday nite time meds    thankyou but i dont like bothering anyone, ive no confidence to phone etc, see a dr way above me as brought up that way and respect your elders im scared to even phone them, oh ive forgot how to work my fone of 5 years
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  • Posted

    oh sorry when i was in the hospital, i have no confidence ,self esteem etc, im like a weirdo walks with head down, feels guilt all the time but i did have the courage at mdication time to ask about 4 staff what are all these tablets for as my moods getting low and feel so depressed but all they kept saying was oh the dr just wants to work on your severe anxiety , maybe that meaans  can only really tranqualise me now to sleep and ive slept for 3  no nearly four weeks ive been home i cant stand up my legs are like jelly and my back is agony ive lay that long, months in bed, they said when i got out i would get a phsio too as something up with my back,  dont think being out all he time laying will help that one bit, i think longest sat up in a month is 4 hours and with the depression it seems like 2 days all you want to do is take your next dose and knock yourself out again as being awake is horrid , i dont think i can take it much more
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  • Posted

    ps i wasnt sectioned because i was violent or anything, never done a thing in my life, it was they said i was unfit at home to cook etc, i had to do cooking tests etc in hospital about 3 months after i was in, ive nothing against people who take heroin  drugs etc but i think i was only one of 2 people in the hospital that wasnt in for drug use, i know they must use it if unwell and for a reason but im wondering if  ive been giving theyre meds i cant handle, they just kept saying i needed more as had a high is it tollerence level, well ive not now, im knocked of my feet for 6 and wouldnt even put cooker on now, it just feels like theyve gave up with me not that im wanting or looking for special attention but since ive been home not opened curtains, sensitivity in eyes cant even face the sunlight, just want to lay under duvet in pitch black as house is too, im 46 or 47 this year and im not proud my files were 3 books made me feel gutted but maybe im just destined at best to stay like a hermit as ive done in past stayed in for 2 years, i feel thats me for life now at best if i can take it    was just hoping someone could say cut this or that tablet out .........i surely dont need all them  i think its 3 anti depressants and and i dont know what theyre all for even chemist was confused and told me would take an hour to make up my tablets
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  • Posted

    i THINK ONE DOSE OF MY TABLETS WOULD TRANQUALISE THE HORSE IN THE FIELD ACCROSS FROM ME BUT I GUESS IS YOU CANT WAKE YOU CANT HAVE A PANIC ATTACK, IM REALLY SORRY IF IM NOT BACK ON AS BEEN TOLD WITH UPMOST IMPRTANCE IVE NOT TO STOP TAKING ANY AS CAN CAUSE MAJOR SIDE EFFECTS  BUT IVE READ UP ON ONE CALLED LYRICA PREGABILIN AND MAKES PEOPLE STAGGER DRUNK HIGH FEELING THEY EVEN USE IT FOR RECREATIONAL USE ON 75 MG IM ON 600 MG NOT COUNTING THE OTHER 9 TABLETS IN MORNING 6 AT NOON 5 AT TEATIME AND 11 AT BEDTIME , I FEEL GUILTY MUST BE COSTING THEM A FORTUNE NOW IVE LOST MY JOB AND DONT PAY FOR PRESCRIPTIONS,
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  • Posted

    why on earth have they prescribed you this much medication.  Surely you need a review with a proper psychiatrist to sort out this mess.  That's why you are tired. I'd be surprised if you can barely function day to day. Get a medicine review and I hope that you feel better after that.

    rich

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    • Posted

      Thankyou Richard for reply, im just up sorry from friday , is whats prescribed would you say a lot of medication? or just nornal for anxiety and depresion, it was the top psychiatris from the hospital who prescribed it, i mean i have no palpatations now as your right its hardly barable living everyday but he knew this as near my release date i was only allowed 4 hrs home if i took a taxi as i could barely walk, or do you think its just the depression of loosing my mother and father and its the only way ? ive managed to read on 2 tablets, im not the brightest spark but it said most commen sides effects ere not just tiredness but somnolence which wikipedia says " Somnolence (alternatively "sleepiness" or "drowsiness") is a state of strong desire for sleep, or sleeping for unusually long periods (compare hypersomnia). It has distinct meanings and causes. It can refer to the usual state preceding falling asleep,[1] the condition of being in a drowsy state due to circadian rhythm disorders, or a symptom of other health problems. It can be accompanied by lethargy, weakness, and lack of mental agility." and thats what well used to worry me as i wanted to sleep more but the effects that strong you cant push it away.ive stayed a wake of a maximum or hours in a month , not even on my feet , sitting, guilt ridden with everything even being the laziest person in the world,    do you think i should stop these 2 tablets that say is a very common side effect, mind you it says that with quitipine too, i dont know which ones to stop ? im scared of stopping the ones that are helping the panic attacks welli think they have aint been out or curtains opened in over a month, but it may just be i have to put up with it as it may just be me ?
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  • Posted

    neil you need a second opinion review of your meds because just as an outsider amateur I think that you may be on too much that could be counter productive for your health.  I hope you get the help you need soon,

    rich

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