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This is my first post. I have commented on other people's discussions but this is my first own post. It's harder than I thought!
I feel like i need to stop telling myself . . .I hate saying this. Here goes. Sometimes I think "I hate myself." and then I even think "No you don't. You're just pretending. You don't really think that. You're just trying to feel sorry for yourself. You're pathetic. Get over it" Like that's pretty much the train of thought. Sometimes it sounds so silly when you say it out loud but those moments where you think it, they're real.
Does anyone have any tips for moving on after therapy? (I did cognitive behavioural therapy.) Did anyone keep up the exercises? I think I might need to do that because I have found myself slipping back into my negative thinking unfortunately. And the worst thing is, I'm starting to believe it too. sad
I am trying to keep active though. I've done something with friends every day for the past few days. Even though I've been very bad with keeping my sleeping regularly. And I've stopped exercising for the last few days. Well actually I did go for a walk a couple of days, so I guess I have done some. But I was trying to do some everyday and I certainly haven't been doing that.
I want to start doing exercises to tone up my upper legs as well as I don't like my hips, thighs and stomach. I am trying not to slip into obsessive/dysfunctional exercising though as I have had some problems with my eating/exercise/body image up until very recently. As in, I'm still working on it. Yesterday I didn't eat from 1:30 until 10:30 except for two scoops of ice-cream. The day before I went to bed hungry. I keep feel like I'm eating all the time. I don't like to eat every time I'm hungry because I'm afraid I'll eat too much. There was another day I didn't eat most of the day between breakfast until a late dinner. I know I'm slipping right back. Even writing this is making me aware of it. I've been looking up BMI and all sorts. The truth is, I want to have a healthy idea of body image and a healthy attitude to food/weight/body image but there's this other side of me that wants to be on the bare minimum of the healthy BMI. I was losing weight to change my body but since I decided maybe all I need to do is target the areas I don't like with specific exercises because I used to do that (as well as cardio and a lot of other exercise) . . . and I used to like my body. Actually, that's a lie. Well, I used to like my body but I used to do all my exercise on the one day. 3 and a half hours in the evening. And instead of eating dinner that day, I used to eat 2 slices of brown bread and maybe an apple instead before all that exercise. I used to do 100 sit ups and some crunches every morning and 100 leg raises and 100 leg crunches (or whatever it's called) for each leg . . . That wasn't healthy either. Maybe I'm posting in the wrong place but it's all linked. The doctor says that's just a symptom of depression! Even though I never told him about all that because I've only just remembered/realised how wrong it was to behave like that.
I just want to be balanced but I find it very hard. I've always found it hard. The same with study. I either do nothing or go into complete overdrive/panic mode.
Sometimes I feel more anxious when I'm honest to myself about what's going on in my head. But I know that's better than keeping it all in . . . does anyone have any tips for me please? I was about to say "apart from eat, sleep and exercise as I know that myself or therapy as it's not really an option" . .. why do I always have to deny myself of help? I know I need to eat, sleep and exercise to make me feel better. Why don't I just do it? I'm starting to feel anxious now. My tummy is starting to hurt. (Don't worry I did eat breakfast, a bowl of cereal. Even though I've identified recently that that's not enough to keep me going but I still continue to only eat a bowl of cereal for breakfast. I'm so frustrated at myself!!)
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