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Anybody not give it to their partner?

Posted , 11 users are following.

linzie418
linzie418

So I've been "with" someone since August and I've only ever had one outbreak last October. I take the medication somewhat sporadically but more often if I know we are going to mess around. I was wondering if anybody with genital herpes has NOT given it to their partner when or if they have unprotected sex? It's possible right? I mean for your partner to not catch it? The doctor told me the meds would help reduce outbreaks and the chance of me giving it someone. Is this true? Has anybody had unprotected sex with someone and they didn't catch it?

Thanks

2 likes, 37 replies

37 Replies

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  • itsok2015
    itsok2015 linzie418

    Posted

    I have HSV1, and before I even knew I had it and symptoms were starting to show during my first outbreak, my boyfriend and I had unprotected sex and he does not have it - we've had sex many times even after the sores were gone and still nothing.

    Apparently it's harder for men to contract it anyways, because of the pure biology behind their anatomy. Herpes likes to live in moist, enclosed places.

    My boyfriend got treated after we found out I had it, and still it came back negative. We've been keeping an eye out for symptoms and it's been almost two months and still nothing! So it's quite possible to not spread it - take the meds, wait for the outbreak to be over (plus a few days after to be sure) and use a condom. Make sure you're both aware of the small risks and you'll be fine. As long as you communicate with one another, that's the most important thing.

    In any case, you're not alone, so stay strong! ☺️

    • linzie418
      linzie418 itsok2015

      Posted

      Thank you. I don't know what I would do if he got it. So your boyfriend keeps testing negative? That's awesome. I'll hope for the same results. I didn't know it was harder for men to contract. That's ironic seeing as I know I got it from a man. He refuses to wear condoms and I'm allergic to them. I have to buy a special kind, but he won't wear them. I'm scared he's going to get it from me. It freaks me out even more that he doesn't seem to remember me telling him that I have HSV. Or maybe he doesn't care. Who knows. But that's incredibly reassuring. If you don't mind me asking, how often have you had outbreaks? And do you guys have sex often and he still doesn't have it? I'm petrified to bring it up because I swear he forgot or something.
    • FelizCastus
      FelizCastus linzie418

      Posted

      All STDs are more easily caught by women than men due to our anatomy, unfortunately. Better tell him about your HSV again and ask him to do a full STD panel + HSV before unprotected sex. If he hates condoms that much, then he's presumably never or rarely wore one... Think about that first before letting him go without. You already have herpes; no need for anything else on top!
    • itsok2015
      itsok2015 linzie418

      Posted

      He tested negative - he has the antibodies for HSV1 but that is only because he has mouth cold sores since childhood.

      How come your guy refuses to wear condoms? I was diagnosed back in November and only had my one initial outbreak. I have felt tingling but then it goes away... Think that's just the virus settling into my system. I have heard it's very hard and rare to pass on HSV1 if they have it in their mouth. I think this due to the fact that type 1 likes to live in the mouth, and not the genitals.

      My bf still does not get any symptoms however one thing we did notice is that cold sores on his mouth have been recurring more often. I think this is because he goes down on me and maybe I'm shedding and it triggers in his mouth. So strange but I think that's what's going on. He doesn't mind though cuz he's had the virus since he was a kid. I'm a rare case as well, as I have had cold sores since I was a kid too and apparently it's harder for people to contract it genitally if they have the virus in their mouth. So I'm a very rare case!

      We do have sex often, I feel my guy is very supportive and understanding. I think your guy should just do some research and educate himself a bit more - there's a stigma with the name, but honestly having it doesn't make me any less of a person. The right guy will stick by you.

      Have your symptoms disappeared at all? The first 3-6 months after your initial outbreak can be tricky cuz it's settling into your system, which explains why my ex is seeing more cold sores on his mouth, probably from viral shedding on my part.

      Anyway, let me know if you have any other questions, I'm here! smile

    • FelizCastus
      FelizCastus itsok2015

      Posted

      If your bf has it orally, then he's essentially immune from getting it genitally, which is why he didn't get it during your outbreak, although you should both avoid each other's outbreaks as best practice. Sometimes exceptions exist.
    • linzie418
      linzie418 itsok2015

      Posted

      He says he just doesnt like the condoms or how they feel. That's his excuse. I've only had one outbreak too and got diagnosed last october. I felt like my life was over. This is reassuring though. So it's possible that he won't get it from me from having sex with no condom? I take the medication often, more so now that we've been hanging out and what not and he hasn't had anything abnormal happen or appear on him anywhere. I don't let him go down on me. I was just never really a fan of that anyway and he doesn't seem to be either. I'm afraid to bring it up to him again because i seriously think he doesn't remember me telling him. I think by now, since we've been having sex since august, that something would have came about. I don't know. I'm hopeful though.
    • linzie418
      linzie418 FelizCastus

      Posted

      Why would he be immune to getting it genitally ? Does that mean becuase I have it genital that if he went down on me, he wouldn't get it orally? I'm so confused. I just don't want him to catch it. What is the difference between the hsv-1 and the hsv-2 ? like what about 2 makes it easier for others to catch it? It's crazy to think it's harder for a guy to catch it because of their anatomoy when it was a guy who gave it to me. Just crazy. And kind of not fair lol
    • FelizCastus
      FelizCastus linzie418

      Posted

      Once a person gets HSV-1 in one location and produces enough antibodies (so after 4-6 months from infection), the person is usually immune from getting HSV-1 elsewhere. Same applies in the case of HSV-2. If your bf has had cold sores before and you have genital Type 1, then that's the best scenario.

      Type 2 is just a lot more virulent than Type 1. Genetically, they are about 50% the same, but I guess it's the other 50% that makes HSV-2 much worse and infectious! Also, women's bodies suck. We are the receptive sex and full of semi-porous mucous membranes down there, so are an easy target for STDs and other infections.

      Type 1 is harder to acquire genitally, but if he does manage to get it, then that is just as much his problem for refusing condoms. No sympathy for guys like that, sorry!

    • FelizCastus
      FelizCastus

      Posted

      *Harder to acquire from genital-to-genital contact, I mean.
    • itsok2015
      itsok2015 FelizCastus

      Posted

      I agree! No sympathy whatsoever. Dude, suck it up! At least you're having sex!
  • snow25382
    snow25382 linzie418

    Posted

    no. you are more than likely infecting everyone. even on medication, and with a condom the cance of the other person not getting it is like 60%. The thing is, it sheds. Your parters may not show symptoms for many years and may have false negative test results.
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