anybody on 30mg mirt had a relapse

Thanks lesley!! It s actually been 8 weeks. I had been feeling ok but facing work coming up soon brings anxiety up big time. Also very tearfull. I live and work in spain and have done so for the past 21 yrs. Its a seasonal job i.e. 6 to 7 months a year. Last october i really hit the after some bad experiences. I think i was putting all physical signs of depression and at the time slight anxiety on to the fact that i suffer from osteoarthritis in my neck and hip. I experienced muscle tightness and spasms. Also a funny annoying feeling in my head. I finished work a week early and in november really hit the wall.severe anxiety and just feeling unwell 24/7. my docter put me on citalopram wich i used to take before and had always helped. I finished my earlier bout on citalopram in june 2014. wish i never would have but hey i eas feeling ok. This time the citalopram did not see to have any effect but i stayed on them for the time being. I finally ended up in hospital and from there a psychiatrist on my 44th birthday nov the 20th. The subscribed me lyrica or pregalin as some call it. 3 times a day 75 mg. It helped me sleep a lot better but there wassnt enough improvement during the long days. On march the 27th i went to see a psychiatrist and she brought me on to mirt. I had to come of the citalopram. 30 mg in 10 days. 4 days of mirt 25mg for 4 days and than 30mg. I felt very tired and slept for hours. I did feel better mentally. I was able to get out more and went for long walks. Finally it seemed i was slowly getting there. I still got very anxious whenever something had to be done and i also wasnt able to plan anything . Things like going out for a meal etc.yhe last 3 eeeks i started feeling a big improvement eventhough very sloely. I still took it very easy cause i didnt want to fall back into that horrible place. Now that work is coming up and having had meetings with work my doctor and psychiatrist i have been feeling very nervy and my mind is going in overtime. The meetings were very possitive and at work they are very understanding. They said to take it easy and if in any case i feel bad or anxious to take a break or in the worst case going home.they even said that if it wouldnt work out at all i could go on the sick . i really want it to work out but am getting so worked up the meds dont seem to do their job.why do i get so worked up is yhe golden question. There is no reason to feel like that.

i would love to exercise more but that is not possible at the moment due to my hip and neck.cant evrn go seimming because i have had an open wound on my leg for 5 yrs. Doesnt heal because of 2 cases of thrombosis 6 yrs ago. It seems to nearly close every winter but gets bigger again at work. As you can tell i have a lot of isues preventing me from a lot of stufff mainly a moderate bit of exercise every day. The long walks do help but even those have been effected by my anxiety and weird feelings.

A vicious circle from wich i dont seem to be able to escape. I really appriciate your respond. Hope you can find a way to improve your daily battles. Xx

hello bozzer well thanks for replying...i wish i had the magic answer for you but unfortunately i dont right now....just sending you some positive vibes and hope things work out for you..im struggling at mo...cant seem to motivate myself or even get up and go into another room...whats that about...crazy really as i used to be very outgoing...fingers crossed for both of us and here to chat anytime...kind regars lesley xx

hi lesley,

i am on 30 for about a month and it seems to have made me worse, anxiety, fatigue, sleeping with pill.  how longhave you been on it and do u plan to change it?

Bn on it since march 17. Want to stick with it but struggling at the moment. Hoping for better times soon for both of us. Here for a chat when needed xx

Sozz suzie, did not realize you were asking lesley.

hi suzie...ive been on 30 for about a month too...it has made me much worse even to the point where i cant even get to my doctors to discuss it.......i really have no idea how to change it.......any suggestions would be gratefully received...how did you cope or how exactly are you coping at the moment....just feel absolutely numb dont know if thats a good or a bad thing will it get any better i hope so..thanks for reply ..

its the anxiety thats the worst just cant stop thinking about the worst case of of everything and nothing that bad has happened yet its really wierd.......

im sure suzie wont mind having a joint discussion i think this is a good thing bozzer...teamwork might help us all after all! x

Same here. My biggest problem also. Cant see any possitve outcomes. This surely must change. Everyone always says its me who s gotta try and get out but how ?? I would like to try anything but anxiety and and feeling depressed stops me.

Keep faith...i do xx

thanks lesley.  i see the psych on friday and will tell him, but iam so frustrated as i am sure u are.  i don't feel like doing anything.  how longis it supposed to take to work?

yep everyone says u gotta change yourself but very difficult when you have the severe blues...wish i had the answer  but doing the same...keeping the faith is one of my favourite expressions thanks for reminding me of that one...now to put it into action...keep the faith bozzer!!...here anytime

yep its very frustrating as frustrating as hell which is annoying in itself isnt it.......no idea how long it takes to work hope its very soon...hang in suzie and and bozzer says keep the faith!!...easier said than done i know...you are not alone we are all here together...which is great i think x

also the weight gain is pretty awful when u cant get up off sofa deciding what to squeese into is a nightmare!!..i used to be a twig not anymore...more doom and gloom im laughing now which is a plus!!!

i feel your pain. they tell me too that i should be doing relaxation exercises.  i bought a book on cbt,(cognitive behavior therapy) but i can't relate to it right now.  i don't understand why the meds make you feel worse . i try to do a few things around the house.  i will ask the psych on friday what to do.  i am also going to beg to have a bloodtest done that helps in determining what antidepressant may work. 

no problem.  it's good to get info especially frompeople that can relate to what you're going through.

i hear you suzie my doctor recommended a book "the happiness trap" i was too depressed to read it and i couldnt relate to it which is madness in itself isnt it...well done on doing things around the house youre doing better than me so big up to you girl.......its crazy that meds make you feel worse i so agree viscious circle...stay positive if poss and thanks for the reply   x

you have inspired me a bit now to get off sofa so thank you.......its a lovely day out there such a waste to look at it through the flipping window!!!!!

I am just starting to look into cbt and have asked on here for experiences. So far no reply. I heard you can even do it online !!

Anything to get going....i need to show the people that love me and are there for me that i at least try eventhough it frightens the hell out of me.

agreed suzie and bozzer its great to relate to others feeling similiar thank you both x

thanks lesley and bozzer.  support is appreciated.

And thank you. It is nice to try and fight this together......keep us informed xx

bozzer, I wish I could offer you a specific avenue of advice, but your entire scenario is beyond me, especially psychology. I haven’t experienced anxiety. Each of us has a different mold. I went on mirtazapine approximately 2 years ago for depression and now I’m on the maximum dose of 45 mg. Mirtazapine has a latitude of how it affects people in the short and long run.

 I initially started off on 10 mg. It appeared to be just what I needed. Insomnia kept me awake, up to 3 days without sleep. I lost a job, in part to it as I couldn’t function and due to another condition (epilepsy) that led to a car accident, I’m retired and can’t drive. In part, anti- seizure meds cause depression along with the death of my girlfriend. My Dr. finally put me on mirtazapine and it made a difference in the beginning. I was more outgoing, slept, and began to have dreams for first time in 6 years! Experiencing dreams again seemed to be an initial factor in my uplift and motivation. I slept for 10 hours in the beginning, but after time, I sleep for 6 to 7 hours now. My brother noticed the initial difference in my mood.

 Enter lesley and suzie into the discussion. The intention of mirtazapine now has gone downhill. My motivation has fallen off a cliff. Some days I’ll skip a daily shower and keep telling myself I’ll do it later. Later sometimes means tomorrow and I’ll end up sitting in my bathrobe all day. I was never a good housekeeper, but it has become ridiculous. My brother helps out and drives me to the store to get items I need, especially in bulk. He offered to do it last weekend but I told him not to bother. I didn’t want him to see the mess. I finally got the kitchen cleaned up yesterday, but that was 2 day effort. I’ve began to smoke again and running out of them, or a food item I need, were motivations to walk to the store yesterday. Mirtazapine makes me crave sugar and weight gain. I’ve forced myself not to buy sweets for the most part but I’ll end in the kitchen at nights looking for some even though I know that none are there. The excessive weight shows in the mirror and clothes I can’t wear anymore and I don’t like it. Because of that, I’ve been able to force myself to go for long walks for the last 2 weeks and will force myself to do it again today. I have to think of walking as a medicine, the exercise does help me with my mood and motivation. My walk today will be to get out of this (blank) place and lose weight.

After my walk, today’s agenda is to start cleaning up some more. I can’t fit a bulldozer through my door, I’ve got to do it. Besides, tomorrow is trash day, I missed last week’s pick up. Sometimes just going to the mailbox becomes “I do it tomorrow”. It seems like its become a show down between motivation vs. mirtazapine. I’m rooting for motivation for everyone and for me it begins after I finish this cup of coffee. Motivation class 101 began this morning 1. When I didn’t turn on the TV. Step 2 is coming, a shower, right after I post this. Step 3, a walk. Step 4, begin cleaning up.  People on the outside don’t understand.

 bozzer, I wish you the best of luck and think positive. I hope your Dr’s can offer more optimism. Change is not always easy. A famous line in movie, I can’t think of the name of it, goes something  like this: “I’m fed up and not going to take it anymore!” I'm fed up.

steve

Thanks steve, hope you got your to do list done ! I myself went for a very long walk today wich made me feel a bit better. Hope yours did too !!

Hi Steve...thanks for your comments ..i love the expression motivation vs mirtazapine...that rings so true here.......completely understand your lack of motivation rings true here too as i am still sat in my dressinggown at midday...

i too have lost interest in cleaning up theres always the thought i will do it later and then later turns into tomorrow or not at all!!...ive also started smoking again starts with coffee and cigarette then continues...whats that about!!!.........also dont want to let friends into my space as im ashamed of my kitchen dishes from days ago very embarrasing.....and yes dont want to get dressed as dont like the look of myself any more in the clothes i am unable to wear.......and also hunt my kitchen in the night looking for sweet things i know are not there........great idea going for walks that might help with the mood swings and weight....so hopefully onwards and upwards.....and not putting things off till tomorrow which is my main fault it just goes on and on every day....like that film groundhog day.....thanks for your advice...im 58 and dont work which i dont think helps i havent been able to work since i lost my partner in 1996 and the depression hit bad...then my mum died in 2000 which made it worse...then i got my inheritance stolen from me from a crackhead...oops final crash..i am an only child with no family at all but thankfully have a good friend support system which i am truly gratelf for

anyway sorry to moan but i think it helps if we all tell the truth

hope you all are being positive today

hope your day is going better today....positive thoughts coming at you

lesley, i am sorry for all you losses. i am fortunate in that i have a husband and daughter and really good friends, however i still have the problems going on in my mind which i can't control.  i figure with me it's a combinatiom .. stresses and a chemical imbalance.  i woke up toextreme anxiety again.  i can't wait to see the dr.  may we all be positive today

thanks suzie its good that you replied..yes i think the losses really started me all off....thats great you are married and have children although i completely understand that you are alone in your head no matter who is around you which is rubbish!!......think i deffo have a chemical imbalance too of some sort....mite try to get to doctors and talk it out as i think i would like to reduce my mirtz as the higher dosage just seems to be making me worse...my doctor did prescribe some 2mg valium but they didnt touch the sides...think i have the tolerance of an elephant...thanks for your very kind thoughts and coming back at you...good luck tomorrow..keep us posted..great to share...cheers lesley  xx

thanks lesley,

i am so afraid of changing meds.  i have already tried 4

.  i really think thereis something wrong with the way my body metabolizes them.  God give us strength

im scared of changing meds too tried loads but one work just got another prescription for more mertz seems like a viscious circle one i hope that we can break...god give us strength indeed....thanks lovely for reply

blimey i cant even type correctly feels like im going mad..u gotta laugh give thanks for humour,,,cheers suzie and wishing u loads of luck too  xx