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I get the whole live for now thing. I do. But i tend to worry about aging lately i have eye issues and a eustatian tube weird thing (retracted or it is t anymore i dont even know but how i move my head it can make what almost resembles the sound when they run a monitor over your veins) i was told its probably from inflammation, eustaian tube and tmj and that vessel is nearby and touches on it do i can hear it? Okay that whatever all i know is the sound it makes and its not dangerous. Annoying.That part is what it is i guess. Anyway im concerned. This world as nice as some are i dont know what happens if something goes awry. I shouldnt think about it but i do. Until my kids would be set up in their own lives ( they are older but finishing up college) i cant ruin their lives with my presence you know what i mean. They have to form their lives and marry and be set up. I get scared at times thinking about this. I never used too as i leaned on myself (anxiety or not i knew I had me) but i think cause i do have some ailments it just effects me and that i got me thinking, im patiently waiting for science to be able to fix my eye issues (i need that already) if they fixed that i would be okay. And who knows maybe science will actually advance already. But as is i am concerned. I dont know but this causes me anxiety. thankfully im in the last quarter of my life but i tell you i get anxious thinking about it. I See myself now and i am like what kind of elderly person am i going to be if this is me now. Scary.
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