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I Just wanted to talk about my experience so I can warn people not to do the same mistake I did .
As I young child I was very shy, more specifically I was really outgoing when I was outside of school but at school I was very shy , and afraid . I would sit in the back of the class , and if there was any hint that there would be participation that day I felt like the world ended . Also I realize that I never knew how do anything when it came to drawing , math or wtv . it's not because I was stupid , I got really high grades when I wanted to . but my life as a kid was kind of disturbed .
I always struggled and always felt inferior to people
A couple of years later my shyness and inability to cope with my difficulties became worse . The thought of me being inferior to people was everywhere because I was unable to put my thoughts into action .
so I struggeled and I started telling my mom and dad that something is wrong , they never understood , I never could explain myself because I ddnt know what was going on with me .
I would say i'm afraid of people because I couldn't look at them in the eye , from a child who didn't know how to interact with people to becoming afraid from them . But I wasn't afraid I was just missing self esteem and self confidence , I never had a father figure . And I ddnt have the life I was hoping for as a kid and that broke me.
So by then I had changed 5 schools , took me 5 years to graduate from university because of depression and anxiety or let's just say shyness and low self esteem and not being able to face my fears and afraid of change . I got hooked up on all kinds of meds for 9 years started when I was 15 or 16 .
I would go to my doctor tell him I am afraid of people , I feel judged , ddnt say anything about lossing my self confidence and self image because I had never heard of that . I didn't know it could affect someone that much .
i was put on Seroquel an antipsychotic drug and olanzamed and other antipsychotics . not at the same time but one after the other just because i could not face life as a child .
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