Anyone NOT had any side effects on Citalopram?

Hey christy,

i am on 20mg a day and this is my 3rd day

Thank you kelly, that's really kind of you to say. I know how awful I felt when I was in 'the pit', I can honestly say it's one of the worst experiences I've ever had and I don't think anyone can really understand it unless they've been there themselves. Supportive posts on this forum really helped to get me through things and helped me to gather some hope in what felt like a hopeless, relentless and suffocating turmoil. I hate to think of anyone else suffering that way so if I can offer some of that hope to others then I will do all i can to help.

Christy,

It was me who said I was posting too much and was worried about getting on people's nerves! I'm a real chatterbox too! Always have been (As a child I thought chatterbox was a compliment because I got called it so often!).

All of the things you're saying now about losing your shine and sparkle, that you're worried about the medication not working for you and something being physically wrong with you are all things I said and thought every day when I was feeling really ill. At first you might not notice some of the improvements, I found other people would notice me getting better before I did! It's hard to see at the time, and when they're such tiny improvements they sometimes don't seem like enough which can feel frustrating. My mum or husband would point out a small improvement or that I was getting better I would give an exasperated reply; 'i don't want to be GETTING better, I want to BE better!' I really wanted to just go to sleep and wake up once the citalopram had kicked in like you said! I remember my GP saying he wished he could prescribe time machines!

In the last week I've got better and better each day, rather than not noticing myself getting better I've thought 'great, I'm me again' and then I'm amazed to find that the next day I notice myself feeling even better and more like me than I did the day before.

Keep soldiering on and as someone said yesterday, soon you'll be one of the people who have come out of the other side and you'll be offering hope, support and encouragement to people just starting out!

Xxx

Thank you, Mrs. VN. I really needed that right now. I had a good cry with my husband (well, he didn't cry) and am starting to feel better. I have to say...this forum has been a blessing and a bit of a curse. I have been so emotional over the past 2 months that every time I read these beautiful messages, I just get so choked up and cry. I agree, I know I am getting there and I really look forward to the days were I can offer more support to others just starting along. Everyone has been so great to me and I can't wait to give back to others.

Sometimes a good cry can be really cathartic, I think Susie said yesterday, crying can be a real release. I found a good cry and a hug from my hubby followed by a couple of drops of bach's rescue remedy could make me feel so much calmer, even if it was a bit of relief for half an hour.

Hopefully if today was an off day tomorrow will be an 'on' day!

Xxx

Hi Mrs VN ,

Today has been a better day, wish they were all like this, as Christy says I seem to be better every other day, strange isn't it.

I hope you are all going in the right direction and before long this dark time will be out of the way.

Christine xx

Glad you've had a better day Christine. It's a step in the right direction. Soon you'll be having more good days than bad! Xx

Hi all,

Hooray to you all who have been making progress and having positive moments. Hold onto them! I even managed to have a laugh yesterday with my dogs playing in the garden. I don't think it's meds yet, as I'm on such a low dose, but I'll still hold onto that positive moment.

It gets me through the days which fortunately can't be worse than the other day (somebody threatened to legal action against me at work as well as a whole pile of other rubbish and then got home and my husband had taken the dog to the vet to be told he needs part of his paw amputated - on the plus side, I do get to work from home for a day to look after him while he's recovering). As I say, not sure if I'm doing ok because I'm a bit numb (did anyone else go through a phase like that?) or pushing down the anxiety symptoms with the propanolol, but it sure gives me hope that if I keep with it, things will get better. Who knows, maybe I'm a quick responder.

Anne, thanks again for your reassuring words and kind thoughts. I wake up to all these comments, so they're fab to read before I head out to work each day.

Maria - glad you're getting some sleep. This is hard enough without being sleep deprived. I'm very happy to have a valium to help me if sleep isn't coming.

Farawaygirl - group CBT, really? Wow, you're brave to have done that. I think just doing that session is a major achievement in itself. Not sure I would be able to deal with that very well!

Beco - funny you should mention being anxious about meeting the neighbours. I've always done the same thing, avoided neighbours for the main part, for some strange fear. Makes you wonder how long we've kind of always had some sort of issue, only it takes something big or a deep pit to make us do something about it. Glad you're making progress. You give me more hope!

Happy days to all and thanks for being there all of you!

Hi Mrs VN ,

Thank you for your concern, I did take another tablet last night to sleep,but even at the full dose

I still only managed to get five hours sleep but I'm still grateful for some.

It is because my anxiety is so high and really agitated I cannot sit still for two seconds.

By coming on here and talking to you all helps me to calm down for a short while,

I am so sorry to keep on about how ill I'm feeling but because I've never experienced anything like this

Before I'm at the end of my tether. I do take multivitamins and am eating not great amount but having

something. The anxiety is so bad that I have even wanted to take my own life I'm so sorry, because i

Just cannot cope I said to my husband I feel as if I'm only existing.

Carol, thank you I have been prescribed them 2mg but I have not taken any of them yet

My auntie has said if the anxiety gets tough is to take one them in the day to calm me down so I am going to do that if i need to today.

Maria x

Hope everyone has a happy Thursday x

Morning Carol,

I'm so sorry to hear about your dog's paw. Poor pooch! Hope s/he recovers quickly. Glad you could have a laugh playing with the dogs Dogs seem to play an important role in helping lots of people on here feel better. I must admit that when I've felt really bad I've gone to see my friend's little pug for a cuddle and he's really cheered me up! Also walking him with her has been a great way to get out of the house.

It sounds like your job is really stressful. If you don't feel comfortable being signed off could you take some leave soon so you have something to be aiming towards just so you can have a rest Like you my job can be really stressful. I have always been proud of the fact that despite suffering anxiety I have never taken a day off due to mental health so I was mortified to be signed off work initially with this episode. I've come to realise that it's not a competitions! There're no prizes for soldiering on despite being ill! Also, that taking this time for me to heal is the best thing I could've done. At first my brain was telling me 'you've let the team and your clients down' 'people will think you're incapable and weak' 'everyone at work will be so angry with you for giving them extra work to do' but that was all symptoms of anxiety and depression. If you suddenly came down with a physical illness it would be so much easier to take that time to heal without feeling bad and this illness is just as real. Whichever choice you make I'm sure it'll be the right one for you.

Maria,

I was similar when I first started with sleeping tablets, the first two nights I took them I woke up after 4-5 hours but on the third night I slept right the way through. I felt so relieved.

It might not feel noticeable to you but you're coming across as much better than you were when you first posted. Initially you were too scared to eat and were really anxious about taking the sleeping tablets, now you're managing to eat a little and you're even thinking about taking the Valium to help you out during the day! That seems like progress to me!

I'd never understood the idea or being suicidal before this, but following this episode of illness i can really empathise. I've come to realise it's not about necessarily wanting to die but more about wanting the illness to stop. It's really not the answer though. If you have more thoughts like this please call someone and ask them to come and sit with you for a while, maybe a good friend or family member? If you can't do this then you could call the no more panic helpline. Don't suffer it in silence because those awful thoughts might start to build up.

Hope everyone has a calm and peaceful day. I'm off for a hair appointment that I had to cancel when I first became iil! I honestly thought I'd never be able to go and get it done, I shook with fear at the thought of it and frankly at the time I couldn't have cared less about my appearance and thought I never would again! But now I'm really looking forward to a bit of pampering!

Look after yourselves everyone! Xxxx

Good morning everyone

Maria, NEVER EVER, hold ur feelings back on this site, we are all here to support u, the tough days makes us stronger in the long run, don't be afraid to take medication that calms u down, if u had a headache do u hesitate about taking a parecetomol? If u have backache u take pain relief, ........ What I'm saying is we take what we need, ..... When u see the light my sweet u will realise how much strength u will be to others, u are amazing girl, never forget this xxxxx we are here always, I read every single thread, sometimes I can't post on here straight away but I read everything xxxx

Diane,

You are doing amazing, funny u should mention the shop lights, this was a huge issue for me, they would play with my eyes and even tho I knew what it was would set the panic off automatically, u know what I do now? Silly as it sounds but before I go into a shop I pop on sunglasses, I don't care if it's pouring with rain outsides lol, it protects my eyes from the bright lights and minimises the panic, try it, it works , so happy u r driving too, I drove quite a bit yesterday, I was fine and didn't need to pull over at all, I was exhausted by the time I got home tho, but proud of myself that I drove xxxx

Rhys,

You are on the right journey, trust me and all the others on here, we will pull u along the road, the first couple of weeks is the worst, trust us when we say it gets better, stick with it, u r never alone with this site, we r all behind u ....... Xxxx

Mrs VN

U inspire me, ur messages always make me feel good, I would've been so lost without this site, it's like there is invisable hands on this site, when we read these messages it's like someone will take ur hand and help u up again...... Hope that makes sense xxx

Anne,

U pulled me thru and taught me the breathing, I drove loads yesterday, was shattered when I got home but proud that I done it, I wobbled a little but done my breathing and got me over the little blips xxxxx

be strong everyone, every single one of you are amazing, step by step we will all get there, it seems like a forever process but hang in there, step by step we will all cross the bridge, some have just approached the bridge, some have stepped onto it , and some are walking towards the other end, the most important thing is we are all heading in the same direction, it's not a race to the other end, it's an experience xxxxxxx stay strong xxxx

hi all, thanks for your comforting words, I know I don't say much but I was never good at English at school, also a bit dyslexic. anyone got any pass the time ideas? I go back to work on the 28th need to start getting used to doing something instead of watching the clock go by, hope your all ok! x

Many thanks to Mrs VN and Anne yesterday for the supportive comments.

I don't want to jinx anything by saying it, but today for the first time in ages I feel a tiny bit bettter!! A little bit more positive, a little bit less anxious and sort of looking forward to the rest of the day.

I've still got a mountain to climb but for the first time today for weeks I feel like I've got my walking boots on at least!

All the best to all.

David

Exactly David! Sounds like you've taken the first couple of steps too! Remember, if you do have a dip, I liked to imagine id just stumbled backwards a little bit and had to remind myself that I hadn't fallen all the way back down to the bottom!

Susie, thank you for being so kind about me, I'm only paying forward what others have done for me! You'll be doing the same soon!

Rhys,

Can you manage to concentrate on TV and films? I've only just started to be able to as the depression really effected my attention span and the TV being on would just scramble my brains. For things to pass the time I found in the early days when I was really ill websites like buzzfeed, distractify and bored panda really helped to occupy me without being overwhelming. Audiobooks are also good for keeping occupied if you don't feel like reading a whole book. I found biographies were good once I'd started being able to read again as you didn't have to really follow a plot or remember who characters are. Easy phone games like candy crush, draw something or song pop are good too because they don't take much thinking about.

Getting out of the house is important too. I found that when I was feeling really ill just a walk to the shop to buy a magazine gave me a reason to get out of bed and in the shower and then flicking through the magazine would occupy me for the rest of the afternoon. Also, I bought puzzle books like soduku and word searches when I was feeling a bit better which I've never really been interested in before but they did 'exercise' my brain a little.

It also really helps to get some exercise. It was the last thing I felt like doing (to be honest, even when I'm not ill it's always the last thing I feel like doing) but it does get your endorphins going, relieves tension in your muscles and if you go out to do it it gets you some fresh air and vitamin D. I've been walking my friends dog with her (she pretty much knocks on my door and refuses to leave until I've got my wellies on and am out of the door with her) and doing a few Pilates stretches to try and ease the tightness in my muscles. You could maybe try going for a swim or a walk.

It also helps to get used to being around people with minimum interaction at first, we have a waitrose near us and they do free tea and coffee for waitrose card holders so I'd just sit in the cafe with my free cuppa. , it you do start to feel anxious doing something where you're definitely safe it's always worth trying to stick it out for at least 40 mins if you do feel panicky. It's something that is often recommended in CBT and other therapies for anxiety like prolonged or graded exposure. The reason for this is because the anxiety is basically a panic reaction where your brain goes into survival mode, (getting ready to run or fight off danger) because generally during an anxiety attack there is no need to run or fight all those chemicals like adrenaline circulate around the body causing a feeling of panic. The instinct is to leave as quickly as possible which then reinforces to the brain when I do...xyz.....I panic so I can't do that any more. Then any time a similar situation arises you panic, leave the situation and this then forms a phobia or fear. If you can stand to stay in the situation all those chemicals and adrenaline will work there way out of the system after 30-40 mins and then this teaches the brain that actually you are okay and safe and that actually there's nothing to worry about. It's not easy and probably something to try once you're feeling a little less wobbly but it really does work. You can use the belly breathing that Anne recommends to help stay calm when doing this.

Hope everyone's having a good day xxx

Mrs VN,

Thank you for your encouraging words. Today has been a little bit better. I made myself go for a walk to ease

The anxiety and it did help. My husband has stayed home this week to be with me so we went for a drive in

the car I felt a little anxious at first but managed to calm myself down and enjoyed it. Feeling a little dizzy

Tonight I don't know why I don't know if it the sleeping tablets or something else,it only come on today.

Susie,

Thank you too it means so much when your on an all time low I really appreciate your kind words.

Maria x

Hi Anne and All

Good to be following the progress being made by everyone - even small improvement holds the promise of a better time.

I took 10mg amitriptyline for the first time last night and had a slightly better sleep. But today has been more painful with FM. I have some depression also, and doctor thinks I may have to up the cit from 20mg to 30mg.

Ho hum

Take care everyone

Chris