Are these flashbacks or panic attacks?
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I babysit for this little boy and the other day I was doing laundry as I usually do. When I finished washing one load of laundry I saw a disposable diaper in the washing machine. I must not have seen it and washed it. There were the little gel beeds from inside the diaper all of the the washing machine and the clothes. Immediately when this happened I got this warm feeling in my face, like a flushed feeling. My heart started beating really faced and I was scared out of my mind. I was terrified that the father of the child I babysit for was going to yell at me. I felt the exact same way I used to feel around my father. When I did something he didn't like it was the end of the world to me. It was like the worst possible thing had happened. I sat down and caught my breathe and realized that I wasn't acting appropiately to the situation, I was over reacting. I eventually put on my big girl panties and shook off the beeds from the clothes then wiped down the washing machine and put in on the spin cylcle to rinse the remaing gel out. TI cleaned up the mess and everything was fine. Even if it wasn't okay, this little boys father was going to be angry and hit me over a diaper. Looking back now I realize how silly it was. But in that moment it was so surreal, like I was a little girl again there with my dad. It wasn't physically though, like I didn't feel that I was physically going back to a memory with my dad, it was just feeling. The same feeling that I was unsafe, that my father was dissapointed in me, that I had let him down, that he may be so angry with he will hit me. It is really weir to describe I guess. I have had similar experiences like this. One time I was out with my family and my mom kept drinking when she promised me she wouldn't. I felt frozen almost, like what happening now wasn't real. But my mind went back to all those time when mI was younger, trying to get my mom to leave a bar and stop drinking. I had that same heartbreaking feeling I had when I was a kid that my mother was choosing alcohol over me. The same things happened here, the flushed face, face heart beat, etc. Has anyone else experience this? Are the just panic attacks or flashbacks? From what I have researched it sounds like an implicit flashback but I am not sure. I see my pychiatrist next month but wanted to know others opinions.
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sam18386 marie37674
Posted
Hi maria, this sounds like flashbacks, i think? I am no expert but a ptsd sufferer myself. Have you had these thoughts before and is it in certain situations , if you look online it should day what the difference is. But from what i've been lead to believe flashbacks are triggered by sensory triggers like the smell of something, the taste of something etc. When i see my counsellor i get flashbacks that come from certain things like particular sounds which sets them off, i'm very auditory so sound is the sense that is triggered the most. Whatever is causing this i would see someone about it, they are very strong it seems. Good luck, i hope this helps.x