Posted , 5 users are following.
?I really could do with a little advice here about how fluoxetine might or might not be effecting me. I am not sure if it is the drug or me that is behaving in a certain way, all I know is that I am thinking in ways that I never used to.
?This is my second bout of quite serious depression in my lifetime, I was in quite a bad way over a decade ago and came through it, more than came through it, I excelled and had some very good years, so hopefully that is a little hope for some of you that it can happen.
?This time has been a build up where I could sort of see it coming, you notice the signs second time around and take make little tweeks here and there.
?But I probably left it a little too late before seeking help from my doctor who made a second attempt to get me on AD's, this time I gave in after intially thinking I might not need to take fluoxetine. The one thing I have to point out that I am not as bad as I was all those years ago, back then it was something that I never saw coming and was awful.
?I have just started my 5th week now on fluoxetine, and although it is not all doom and gloom and I did have a few laughs this weekend , my thought patterns and type of thinking are just not what I have been in recent years, For a long time now I have totally understand the damage of pointless worry and beating myself up, I developed a type of perspective where even on those real bad days I could empty my head at night and sleep.
?All of a sudden, to be more precise around the time of starting to take fluoxetine thoughts of maybe I am useless, maybe the critics of myself are right and I am finished, not worthy or a bad person, there is not much of a future etc etc.
?I have been waking up exactly between 3 am to 4 am every morning with a slight panic attack and unhappy with my life and the future while still fighting deep down to look for a little hope and tell myself there is a future at 54.
?It is worth mentioning that a few difficult things happening in my life recently did catch up with me and I was still sort of coping, my mother dying after a long fight with MS being the main one along with living in a new area with few friends and support.
?I have really just given in this past few weeks, I have crawled under the sheets more often and stayed in bed a little longer in the mornings, I am not fighting the thoughts or how a feel, but just going with it, not sure if that is a good or bad thing.
?Is fluoxetime making me feel this way, just seems so odd that I suddenly stated thinking bad thoughts in a certain way for the first time the moment I took these tablets. When I approached the doctor I was just tired and low, now I am thinking in ways I do not want to be thinking, that just were not me.
?In truth I feel like a failure and useless, but a little part of me is saying that is not the real you even though these thoughts are coming from my head, so it must be me right?
?I know what the mind can be capable of, so even though I do not feel it I have been putting this down to the fluoxetine, I hope I am right
0 likes, 23 replies