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Are these thoughts coming from fluoxetine or are they the real me.

Posted , 5 users are following.

john64106
john64106

Hi Everyone

?I really could do with a little advice here about how fluoxetine might or might not be effecting me. I am not sure if it is the drug or me that is behaving in a certain way, all I know is that I am thinking in ways that I never used to.

?This is my second bout of quite serious depression in my lifetime, I was in quite a bad way over a decade ago and came through it, more than came through it, I excelled and had some very good years, so hopefully that is a little hope for some of you that it can happen.

?This time has been a build up where I could sort of see it coming, you notice the signs second time around and take make little tweeks here and there.

?But I probably left it a little too late before seeking help from my doctor who made a second attempt to get me on AD's, this time I gave in after intially thinking I might not need to take fluoxetine. The one thing I have to point out that I am not as bad as I was all those years ago, back then it was something that I never saw coming and was awful.

?I have just started my 5th week now on fluoxetine, and although it is not all doom and gloom and I did have a few laughs this weekend , my thought patterns and type of thinking are just not what I have been in recent years, For a long time now I have totally understand the damage of pointless worry and beating myself up, I developed a type of perspective where even on those real bad days I could empty my head at night and sleep.

?All of a sudden, to be more precise around the time of starting to take fluoxetine thoughts of maybe I am useless, maybe the critics of myself are right and I am finished, not worthy or a bad person, there is not much of a future etc etc.

?I have been waking up exactly between 3 am to 4 am every morning with a slight panic attack and unhappy with my life and the future while still fighting deep down to look for a little hope and tell myself there is a future at 54.

?It is worth mentioning that a few difficult things happening in my life recently did catch up with me and I was still sort of coping, my mother dying after a long fight with MS being the main one along with living in a new area with few friends and support.

?I have really just given in this past few weeks, I have crawled under the sheets more often and stayed in bed a little longer in the mornings, I am not fighting the thoughts or how a feel, but just going with it, not sure if that is a good or bad thing.

?Is fluoxetime making me feel this way, just seems so odd that I suddenly stated thinking bad thoughts in a certain way for the first time the moment I took these tablets. When I approached the doctor I was just tired and low, now I am thinking in ways I do not want to be thinking, that just were not me.

?In truth I feel like a failure and useless, but a little part of me is saying that is not the real you even though these thoughts are coming from my head, so it must be me right?confused

?I know what the mind can be capable of, so even though I do not feel it I have been putting this down to the fluoxetine, I hope I am right

 

0 likes, 23 replies

23 Replies

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  • april04956
    april04956 john64106

    Posted

    I will tell you its the illness and meditation I'm 6 weeks nearly 7 I thought my life was pointless I stayed in bed for nearly 3 weeks every day things was hard work I'm on pericyazine for anxiety but I still love have tired days but at least I say to myself I'm 10000000 million times better than I was i never seen light at end of tunnel I saw dread now I can say you get worse before better but I'm getting there is went on a bus other day that hasn't happened in years so I get bit panicky but you will be up and down until your body accepts it and settles you will be fine

  • john64106
    john64106

    Posted

    Just a big thank you to everyone who replied, I have just managed to come through some horrible weeks where I just did not have the energy to even log on here and stay for long. I am finished work for a few days now so will go through some of the posts in more detail.

    ​I am up to 6 weeks now with it starting out horrible, a better patch for a week and then slightly going backwards, but is managagable now with the hope things will go up from here, maybe.

  • HopeNFaith
    HopeNFaith john64106

    Posted

    Hi John, I am feeling the same 😔. I've had 8 weeks on 20mg and 6 weeks on 40mg. I have come along way but I still get negative Thoughts and feeling low. It comes and goes but is more manageable. I know these thoughts are not who I am but it can really upset me. I noticed around the time of my period it's worst. I get period symptoms but no period for 3 months.

    This is my second major break down, first time was when I was 18/19. I have had bouts of depression but this is much worst than my first time or it feels that way. I've had to stop working until I feel well enough to cope. I tried working through it, but I just got worst.

    You guys and this site has really helped me. I keep reminding myself that I am starting to get better and I manage things better. Must not forget the good times too. I do hope and pray you guys feel better soon ??🙏 God bless x

    • john64106
      john64106 HopeNFaith

      Posted

      Hi Hope.

      ?Reading your reply has helped me this evening. Today I hit a wall after a bad nights sleep and having to deal with a stressful job at work. I was telling myself that enough is enough and these tablets are just making me worse than what I was at the start, and just over 6 weeks should have been enough time, knowing deep down though and after reading some helpful stuff on here that it probably is not enough time.

      ?Stick with it and all the best, it cannot rain forever smile

    • HopeNFaith
      HopeNFaith john64106

      Posted

      Hi John,

      Glad I could help. It's taken a lot of soul searching for me to make decisions. I love to work but health is more important. If you over push yourself it won't get better.

      I had a very demanding job so it was right for me to go. If you're not sure what to do, try going for walks to calm your mind. Go swimming or read books as well. You will get better, just remember it will take time, and I keep reminding myself of this as well. smile.

      You are correct it won't rain forever smile. God bless x

    • jo88887
      jo88887 HopeNFaith

      Posted

      Hi hopenfaith

      sorry to "gatecrash" your conversation but I just wondered how long you were on 40mg before you noticed a difference? I was on 20mg for 12 weeks and have been on 40mg for 3 weeks.  I had a relatively good week last week and really thought I was coming through the other side but the last 3 days have been terrible, feelings of fear, feeling low and tired etc, I'm back at the doctors tomorrow and i'm worried that he will want to change my medication to some mething else, I can't face starting again!  Any encouragement would be very welcome

      thank you xx

      jo

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