around 7 days deprived completely of sleep

I've been having sleeping problems for over a year so far and it has never been as bad as recently, about a week ago (8th day at time im posting this) before this happened id been sleeping usually in the morning, 3-6am (Bad, i know, but the doctor id seen months before said its sleep phase disorder or something like that, and my parents bought melatonin pills at the doctor's advice but i really did not want to take them so they didnt force me, i ended up sleeping better anyways by waking up 1 hour earlier each day and sleeping 1 hour earlier, but besides all that; i think about last week, monday or tuesday, I had ended up staying up all night and the morning and ended up falling asleep at 12pm then waking up at around 5 or 6 pm, still sleep deprived probably, but i couldnt go back to sleep later on for some reason and ended up sleep depriving myself even more by staying up and only eventually able to fall asleep in the morning (atleast i think, i honestly dont even remember clearly anymore), the next day i ended up waking in the afternoon, having slept for only a few hours, i didnt even feel exactly tired afterwards, but later on at night i couldnt sleep at all yet again and had a headache most of the night, then ended up sleeping in the morning friggin yet again, after a few hours upon waking i started to feel tired somewhat but still ended up staying up all night feeling more tired and slept late in the morning again, then the next day, instead of sleeping for usually more than around 12 hours like someone would being so sleep deprived i only ended up sleeping for around 7 or 8 hours, so i ended up waking feeling pretty weird as though i hadnt slept at all a few hours later i started feeling strange and exhausted as if i hadnt slept for 24 hours, i know the feeling because ive had sleeping problems like that before which would eventually just pass and id return to sleeping normally, but instead i ended up only falling asleep in the morning, i dont really remember everything clearly but yesterday i woke up feeling dizzy as though iwas dreaming which took a few minutes to pass, a few hours later i felt like i hadnt slept in days and finally slept at night for 3 hours then woke up, and im not sure but i think i fell asleep again after laying in bed for an hour, then woke up at around 4 am, and i think i actually ended up staying up until around 5:30am feeling really weird as if i was dreaming, before falling asleep again and waking up at 2pm, today. i honestly dont know whats wrong with me anymore because when i woke up today i felt extremely exhausted and dizzy, but no longer tired, i had to stay in bed for a while because i kept feeling tired and at the same time not, ive completely lost my appetite from a few days ago and have hardly eaten anything since this started, my parents have scheduled an appointment for the doctors in 2 days, i cant sleep properly at all anymore. Whenever i get out of bed i get a weird sensation, slightly dizzynalmost but as if in a haze, im more than coonvinced that i probably have some kind of brain damage, its hard to think or concentrate. Ive had sleeping problems before but not as extreme as being sleep deprived for so many days, despite sleeping in the morning for a few hours; i think it kept making me more deprived than rested which is probably why i felt exhausted anx weird yesterday. i honestly dunno what to do anymore right now i keep feeling weird and dazed, i dont feel tired but not rested either, i just want to sleep and feel completely normal again like i did more than a week ago. I cant even tell if im falling asleep or not, its like as if i hadnt slept for a week but at the same time not. Im honestly goibg insane, ive told my parents about it but they dont seem to understand entirely, my dad saying i need to go outside more, although i definitively would have been able to had none of this happened. It keeps feeling as though ill never feel normal again just like over a year ago back in 2016 i had stayed up all night once during the holidays like an idiot then went to my room to sleep, (which i was once somewhat capable of doing within a few seconds until a week ago), and had the same type of panic attack id been having for months, rarely, and ran outside freaking out then told my parents if i could slep outside which i eventually fell asleep. For some reason i can never recall what happened in the few days after that, besides vague memories of only sleeping at 3 am, what i do remember is that every day after that i had a weird sensation, brain fog i think, as though i was dreaming almost, or couldnt tell if i was tired or not, its always been there but despite going to the doctors and etc i never felt the same again but ended up forgetting about it, up until a few days ago of where i kept sleep depriving myself like i said earlier from not sleeping, or atleast not sleeping enough on the day i had slept for only 6 hours at 12 pm.. also that vague dreamlike feeling i ended up getting that day is nothing to how i feel right now, i really just want to sleep and wake feeling normal again like every other time i didnt sleep properly and just pass. Im literally going insane with this vague dizziness, i cant think properly at all. I know looking at a screen currently to post so much crap can keep you up but i felt the need to tell someone considering everyone in rl is asleep. Im really scared about never waking up and feeling the same again, its not anxiety trust me, because if it was this post wouldnt even exist. Just so anyone who reads this knows, im only 15 and have, according to a physcologist id seen months ago, depression and social anxiety ( i get anxiety when having to socialise in rl, not on the net). This dizzy weird feeling is driving me insane, i dont even know if im tired or not, I feel so weird. How are you supposed to recover from days of sleep deprivation like this, and if its not that then i dont know whats wrong with me. Also over a year ago a few days before the panic attack that'd happened i was on my mom's laptop playing some game, i remember looking over and watching the documetry that was on tv, about Fatal Insomnia, on 60 minutes that they'd called 'the sleeping curse'. Im not sure but i think thats what might of triggered some kind of major panic attack which made it seem hard to sleep afterwards, just days later. I even kept reminding myself of those days of what had happened in case id have to talk about it. I was already over it months ago. But because of whats happened recently and how i feel now it seems like it was nothing and all in my head like everyone used to tell me. I actually realized how i used to sleep better last year and before, now im not sure ill ever sleep well again. I actually felt sleep deprived days ago but after sleeping all night and some of the day today i feel really messed up. ok whoever reads this is probably going to fall asleep easily just reading through it, lol. But seriously, i dont feel so good right now, kind of like the mental state of not sleeping for DAYS then finally sleeping for only 7 hours instead of the usual 15 hours of such sleep deprivation, but 10x more stranger, ughhhjrit, if i had just simply went back to sleep the day id woken up after sleeping for 6 hours none of this wouldve happened, and this account probably wouldnt even exist... im going to feel worser if i dont sleep now

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