Arrrrggghhh!!

Posted , 3 users are following.

I've been sat reading experiences for days, too scared to type anything. Im a 23 year old manager at a bank and spend more time in bed than I do at work! I find it so hard to cope with day to day life and just feel like everything I do is pointless because everyone hates me anyway. I'd make a fantastic actress, in public im loud & bubbly (& sneaking off to the loo for a cry inbetween!) The last week I've been off work, I'd taken it off as holiday to try and have a rest and sort myself out, instead I spent the week curled up in a ball, crying. Went to the doc's yesterday and was given ANOTHER 2 week sick note - feel like such a failure. Just rec'd a text from work asking if im any better and whether I'll need the full 2 weeks off. My boyfriend just thinks im lazy, and im so scared im going to lose him because I \"can't pull myself together\". He hates the fact that I take anti-depressants, so regrettably I take them intermittently - I know I shouldn't and I know I bring most of the way I feel upon myself.

Does anyone have the answer or a magic remedy??!! x x x

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  • Posted

    Hi there Tillytot

    I read the first line and saw straight away your distress, anxiety and depression.

    Why the hell at your age are you a manager of a bank?

    You don't need all that responsibility at your age. You should be working at a comfortable level and going home ready to party with your friends not holding such a responsibilty.

    You are NOT a failure - you have barely experienced adulthood and here you are managing a bank.

    Too much too soon.

    Can you get a new post at a lower level until you are feeling better?

    Melbi x

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  • Posted

    Hi Melbi,

    So surprised that I got a reply!

    Unfortunately I can't afford to relinquish my role, but the truth is (or at least I think it is), I actually like my job - I just have trouble getting there sometimes! I bought a house in October, so like many, I now have a whacking big mortgage!

    Kind of just fell into the role to be honest, started there at 18 because I was just messing about at college and my mum refused to keep me anymore. I'd always wanted to study medicine, but kind of went off the rails around the time of my GCSE's, I think really this is when I started to feel sh***y - for want of a better word!!

    I just feel like such a fraud when I read about other people and the things they've experienced, yet here I am lay in bed, not eaten or washed for days and just crying. Im so desperate just to wake up in a morning and not feel utter dread.

    Do you suffer? x x x

    Tilly x

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  • Posted

    :Hiya, one thing to remember.It does'nt last forever. YOU MUST TAKE YOUR ANTIDEPRESANTS ON A REGULAR BASIS!!! Sorry for shouting at you, but they don't work if you don't take them, they need to get into your system and stay there,to help you. I don't know how long, or what dosage, you're on, but it took about a month for Prozac to get into my system, was almost on point of giving up.Of course when you're depressed you don't think anything is going to work anyway (part of illness) but stick with it, it will. Anyone who's had deppression , knows you can't pull yourself together ( Hell, if you could you would!).You don't choose to feel this way!!! Please beleive me, it does get better, not all at once, but you'll realise one day, that you don't feel quite as bad, it's all uphill from there. Beleive in yourself, you will get there, wipe your tears away, and sit in the sun--if you can find any!! smile
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  • Posted

    Hi again Tilly

    Yes I do suffer on and off, have done sone from around the aged of 15 but back then the doctor put it down to hormones.

    At the moment I am taking peroxetine (seroxat). Doctor put me on citalopram at first but they made me worse rather than better.

    peroxetine are working much better and after 3 months off work due to the depression I finally returned, firstly on a part time basis and gradually worked up the hours until I was back on full time.

    I have tried reducing the dose due to feeling better but I just went down hill so went back to the doctors recommended dose and will remain on that now until doctor suggests I try reducing them. He said you need to be on them for at least 6 months.

    How are you feeling today?

    Melbi xxx

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  • Posted

    Hi Tillytot

    That's the right attitude - don't give up, tomorrow is a new day.

    I hope you are feeling better today.

    Melbi x

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