1. Community
  2. Operations and surgical procedures
  3. Hip Replacement

Asking the delicate question....how to get back to a normal sex life after THR

Posted , 4 users are following.

bripro
bripro

First of all I want to thank the forum for all the responses to my first post. Hearing from people that understand what I’m saying and going through means the world to me. I have all the faith in the world and my doctors to steer me through the medical phase of this but I also have all the faith in the world for those who have gone before me to get me through the human phase of it. 

I do have a question and I’m asking it gingerly but don’t really know how to sugarcoat it.........I’ve been married 21 years but since my surgery our sex life is so awkward and clumsy I think it’s adding to my dim outlook. 

She’s been great and understanding but I simply can’t get into the positions she sometimes wants without causing pain or risk. We’ve had a few episodes that end in nothing but frustration for both of us so it seems neither one of us is eager to get anything going. 

Am I just expecting this to get back to normal too soon or is it possibly exposing an underlying problem between us I didn’t recognize before?

I know it’s personal subject but any lights before I could shed on the subject also mean a lot to me. Thanks in advance, Brian

0 likes, 8 replies

8 Replies

  • bripro
    bripro

    Posted

    I was just doing voice to text and when I proofread it after submitting I realize the last paragraph is flawed. If there is a way to edit I am not aware of it. I am asking if there’s any way the forum can enlighten me on what to expect I would appreciate it. Thank you
  • maggie93798
    maggie93798 bripro

    Posted

    There is plenty of info on the net, giving diagrams of the best positions, also on Rocket mans website. 

    Needs a sense of humour possibly some adaptability re positions. Why not look at the info together and than try any positions to find the best ones for you two

    • bripro
      bripro maggie93798

      Posted

      Thank you, I never thought of researching it. We will look up the information with the time is right
  • Molly1charlie2
    Molly1charlie2 bripro

    Posted

    Explore ......and find new ways to get that part of your life back again. Give yourself time to heal first. 2 hips replaced at the same time is challenging and it has only been 10 weeks for you.........you'll figure it out together but she needs to be patient and so do you. I am anxious to get back to my old self after bilatereral replacement too.......try something different that doesn't cause you pain.

  • auntiebeanie
    auntiebeanie bripro

    Posted

    Bri you need a little patience and so does your partner. I waited 3 months before trying. It was good old missionary at first. As you feel more confident try other posistions with maybe a slight adaptation. Its major surgery after all you have had. Look on Graham's website. His Rocketman as Maggie said. Lots of info on there. X

  • Rocketman_SG6UK
    Rocketman_SG6UK bripro

    Posted

    I did post in my website a positions chart which is based on scientific principles of how much strain each puts on the new hip joint.  It's in the 'Long Term Recovery' page and shows positions for either male or female who have undergone the THR operation.  The website address is in my personal info here ...

       https://patient.info/forums/profiles/rocketman-sg6uk-907025

    and at the bottom of the moderator's "useful resources" page at

       https://patient.info/forums/discuss/thr-useful-resources-487147

    It was interesting trying out some of the ideas, after all we all get stuck in our routines, and this opened up new fun ideas for us.  Some worked for us, some didn't, but that's to be expected as we're all different.

    Best wishes

    Graham - 🚀💃 🤸    ¯\_(?)_/¯

    • bripro
      bripro Rocketman_SG6UK

      Posted

      Thank you so much for the time it took to post that. When we’re ready we will look at it together thank you again
  • Rocketman_SG6UK
    Rocketman_SG6UK bripro

    Posted

    I actually delayed my THR until our 40th wedding anniversary celebrations were completed. Then having to abstain for 6 weeks after the THR was actually harder for my wife than me, then to be told that 4 weeks later I would have to undergo revision, with another 6 weeks abstenance sadfrowncry

    At least the second time around we were a bit more prepared for the long wait, and I must admit it was fun to get back into the swing of things again.

    Graham

Back to top

Report or request deletion

Thanks for your help!

We want the community to be a useful resource for our users but it is important to remember that the community are not moderated or reviewed by doctors and so you should not rely on opinions or advice given by other users in respect of any healthcare matters. Always speak to your doctor before acting and in cases of emergency seek appropriate medical assistance immediately. Use of the community is subject to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and steps will be taken to remove posts identified as being in breach of those terms.