Asking the delicate question....how to get back to a normal sex life after THR
Posted , 4 users are following.
First of all I want to thank the forum for all the responses to my first post. Hearing from people that understand what I’m saying and going through means the world to me. I have all the faith in the world and my doctors to steer me through the medical phase of this but I also have all the faith in the world for those who have gone before me to get me through the human phase of it.
I do have a question and I’m asking it gingerly but don’t really know how to sugarcoat it.........I’ve been married 21 years but since my surgery our sex life is so awkward and clumsy I think it’s adding to my dim outlook.
She’s been great and understanding but I simply can’t get into the positions she sometimes wants without causing pain or risk. We’ve had a few episodes that end in nothing but frustration for both of us so it seems neither one of us is eager to get anything going.
Am I just expecting this to get back to normal too soon or is it possibly exposing an underlying problem between us I didn’t recognize before?
I know it’s personal subject but any lights before I could shed on the subject also mean a lot to me. Thanks in advance, Brian
0 likes, 8 replies
bripro
Posted
maggie93798 bripro
Posted
Needs a sense of humour possibly some adaptability re positions. Why not look at the info together and than try any positions to find the best ones for you two
bripro maggie93798
Posted
Molly1charlie2 bripro
Posted
Explore ......and find new ways to get that part of your life back again. Give yourself time to heal first. 2 hips replaced at the same time is challenging and it has only been 10 weeks for you.........you'll figure it out together but she needs to be patient and so do you. I am anxious to get back to my old self after bilatereral replacement too.......try something different that doesn't cause you pain.
auntiebeanie bripro
Posted
Bri you need a little patience and so does your partner. I waited 3 months before trying. It was good old missionary at first. As you feel more confident try other posistions with maybe a slight adaptation. Its major surgery after all you have had. Look on Graham's website. His Rocketman as Maggie said. Lots of info on there. X
Rocketman_SG6UK bripro
Posted
I did post in my website a positions chart which is based on scientific principles of how much strain each puts on the new hip joint. It's in the 'Long Term Recovery' page and shows positions for either male or female who have undergone the THR operation. The website address is in my personal info here ...
https://patient.info/forums/profiles/rocketman-sg6uk-907025
and at the bottom of the moderator's "useful resources" page at
https://patient.info/forums/discuss/thr-useful-resources-487147
It was interesting trying out some of the ideas, after all we all get stuck in our routines, and this opened up new fun ideas for us. Some worked for us, some didn't, but that's to be expected as we're all different.
Best wishes
Graham - 🚀💃 🤸 ¯\_(?)_/¯
bripro Rocketman_SG6UK
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Rocketman_SG6UK bripro
Posted
At least the second time around we were a bit more prepared for the long wait, and I must admit it was fun to get back into the swing of things again.
Graham